[It's not that Lexa's unfamiliar with the concept of guilt from such a small thing (even if she does see it as a small thing). It's more that she believes that when someone like Bellamy feels guilt over such a thing that it's a falsehood. Yes, they are meant to kill fewer rather than more. Yes, that had been her agreement with Clarke, and it's something that rules her actions even here. Otherwise, there are a number of members of the hive she would have tried to execute by now. (If they prove dangerous for so long, she cannot help but take notice.)
With all that he's accomplished with a gun, killing so many of her warriors, she doesn't know if she can believe his guilt here. No, rather, she thinks it's more of this: he feels guilty because he feels it's correct to feel guilty. To Lexa, it makes her think of him as a hypocrite.
If it were Clarke, there would be no hesitation in pointing out the contradiction. She has many times before, and has shown how it is nothing but a lie there. Here, there is hesitation. For one thing, she actually regrets how her words propelled Clarke into embracing her more monstrous side for her people. For another, the last thing they need is Bellamy uninhibited.
Her head tips forward as she considers her words. It's obvious that she is, though the exact thoughts are pulled away, not apparent to him. She doesn't want him to know where she's going with this, so she builds a wall to prepare herself.]
Why do you value yourself so little? [These words come after she lifts her gaze to meet his eyes. That's what she comes to in the end: why does he value himself so little? When he had killed her warriors, he had justified himself. When he had fought alongside Clarke with their camp and killed three hundred of her warriors, she's positive that he hadn't felt any guilt then. She knows of the rousing speeches, knows of how he motivated his people to fight. Her scouts told her of some of them, and she could only assume that his handling of his people was done that way over a time. (Lincoln, after all, had been a very good scout.)
And above all else, she remembers him standing as a barrier between himself and his people, a wall all on his own, Marcus Kane's fingers wrapped around his neck. There were no survival instincts at play there: only the reality that he had to save his people.
Even Lexa has never been a wall for her people as she has always known that self-sacrifice is so rarely valued in that way. It has its upsides, but she knows there is a greater cost in living than in dying.]
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With all that he's accomplished with a gun, killing so many of her warriors, she doesn't know if she can believe his guilt here. No, rather, she thinks it's more of this: he feels guilty because he feels it's correct to feel guilty. To Lexa, it makes her think of him as a hypocrite.
If it were Clarke, there would be no hesitation in pointing out the contradiction. She has many times before, and has shown how it is nothing but a lie there. Here, there is hesitation. For one thing, she actually regrets how her words propelled Clarke into embracing her more monstrous side for her people. For another, the last thing they need is Bellamy uninhibited.
Her head tips forward as she considers her words. It's obvious that she is, though the exact thoughts are pulled away, not apparent to him. She doesn't want him to know where she's going with this, so she builds a wall to prepare herself.]
Why do you value yourself so little? [These words come after she lifts her gaze to meet his eyes. That's what she comes to in the end: why does he value himself so little? When he had killed her warriors, he had justified himself. When he had fought alongside Clarke with their camp and killed three hundred of her warriors, she's positive that he hadn't felt any guilt then. She knows of the rousing speeches, knows of how he motivated his people to fight. Her scouts told her of some of them, and she could only assume that his handling of his people was done that way over a time. (Lincoln, after all, had been a very good scout.)
And above all else, she remembers him standing as a barrier between himself and his people, a wall all on his own, Marcus Kane's fingers wrapped around his neck. There were no survival instincts at play there: only the reality that he had to save his people.
Even Lexa has never been a wall for her people as she has always known that self-sacrifice is so rarely valued in that way. It has its upsides, but she knows there is a greater cost in living than in dying.]