[No matter what she said before about being willing to undergo this, a part of her immediately resists. She recalls the Prince's words, hinting that she might lose herself to this life, to the Nest. She recalls the ease with which Cathaway connected, showing her all those people who were torn away from their worlds. Her fingers flex and bend into fists so that she can feel control over her body, and she does everything she can to keep herself from rejecting Angel.
All the calm she produced is gone, and Lexa is all too aware of how much Angel has access to right now. Nothing with Lexa is on the surface, yet everything is at the same time: she fears emotions because they weaken her, she fears connections because she's lost so many (a head of a girl, bloody and without a connecting body lies on a bed waiting for her), and she longs for the chance to return to her people. Lexa swallows, because she has always been poor at maintaining her emotions no matter how much she proclaims otherwise, and her throat tightens.
It's a balance. Keep Angel in, but lock it away. She inhales deeply. She is young, but her life is one covered in blood. Her people know nothing except to keep drawing it from one another.
(She realizes now that Ilde can sense this, that in wanting to push the disconnect, she's surfacing everything for both of them—)
She swallows again, staring off into the distance. Then she closes her eyes, and reopens them.
There's a clear statement sent through, but it's not a thought that's similar to something spoken. Do not pry. It's an order.
And then it's shut away. Her throat aches a little, but she sends a clearer thought through the link, one that's clearly meant to be dialogue:] (Guide us. We've found various recordings left behind. I don't know why people wouldn't come here to see what's been lost. I fear that we may still be waiting for trouble.) [There has been no sign of it, but she comes from a world where angry, mutated gorillas run free.
no subject
All the calm she produced is gone, and Lexa is all too aware of how much Angel has access to right now. Nothing with Lexa is on the surface, yet everything is at the same time: she fears emotions because they weaken her, she fears connections because she's lost so many (a head of a girl, bloody and without a connecting body lies on a bed waiting for her), and she longs for the chance to return to her people. Lexa swallows, because she has always been poor at maintaining her emotions no matter how much she proclaims otherwise, and her throat tightens.
It's a balance. Keep Angel in, but lock it away. She inhales deeply. She is young, but her life is one covered in blood. Her people know nothing except to keep drawing it from one another.
(She realizes now that Ilde can sense this, that in wanting to push the disconnect, she's surfacing everything for both of them—)
She swallows again, staring off into the distance. Then she closes her eyes, and reopens them.
There's a clear statement sent through, but it's not a thought that's similar to something spoken. Do not pry. It's an order.
And then it's shut away. Her throat aches a little, but she sends a clearer thought through the link, one that's clearly meant to be dialogue:] ( Guide us. We've found various recordings left behind. I don't know why people wouldn't come here to see what's been lost. I fear that we may still be waiting for trouble. ) [There has been no sign of it, but she comes from a world where angry, mutated gorillas run free.
Anything is possible.]