[Asuka's fury bursts behind Lavellan's eyes and hits him like a punch to the gut, and he doesn't even hear what Misato says, can't even think. All he knows is Asuka's howling agony rising in his throat and crowding out his thoughts and reigniting his own, like he's back in those first few days after mired in grief. Fury and pain like screaming at a wall, clawing at yourself in desperation against your own powerlessness. Drowning and drowning and drowning, Asuka's and his and there isn't even a difference anymore, just one long howl.
It's overwhelming and the only thing he has to cling to is Asuka, so he does.
He wants her to stop he hates this he wants it to end she needs to shut up shut up shut up he needs to keep her from Misato so he wraps his one arm around her shoulder because the other one is gone it's fucking useless he hates this hates hates HATES SHUT UP and curls in on himself at the same time, curls in on her, it could be an embrace in another universe but here it's trying desperately to breathe. Through her struggling and clawing he yells shut up at her through the the link, then he mouths it into her hair where his face is buried in her neck, like a mantra, as he tightens his hold and rocks back and forth to soothe himself as much as her.
Be quiet. Please, please, please be quiet, he can't go back into this pit. Please.]
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It's overwhelming and the only thing he has to cling to is Asuka, so he does.
He wants her to stop he hates this he wants it to end she needs to shut up shut up shut up he needs to keep her from Misato so he wraps his one arm around her shoulder because the other one is gone it's fucking useless he hates this hates hates HATES SHUT UP and curls in on himself at the same time, curls in on her, it could be an embrace in another universe but here it's trying desperately to breathe. Through her struggling and clawing he yells shut up at her through the the link, then he mouths it into her hair where his face is buried in her neck, like a mantra, as he tightens his hold and rocks back and forth to soothe himself as much as her.
Be quiet. Please, please, please be quiet, he can't go back into this pit. Please.]