[ Maybe she is lucky. She's still young. In a way, she still has a chance to move on from everything. She can try to find a way to heal. She can be better. Her life story isn't written or set in stone (not yet). But the pathways that are open to her have been closing off, one by one, as she's gotten older. How much longer does she really have?
Those thoughts don't cross her mind, though. She's too wrapped up in the tears and the sobs and utterly draining, isolating feeling of letting grief and anger and pain vent itself in this messy, painful display of emotion. She can't see very well - she has to keep clearing her eyes - but she can see him near the door and a part of her wants to believe that he's only there so he could shut it, not because he wants to keep his distance from her. She sucks in another breath and it comes out in another painful sob, shoulders heaving.
She feels alone. Even with him in the room. It's a painful feeling, having to endure this by herself and maybe she understands Third Impact a little better now - or will, once she thinks back on this moment.
Asuka doesn't like to ask for help. She doesn't like to ask for anything. But he's there and he's not moving and she wants something. She lifts her gaze, blinking through the tears. ]
Kaji-
[ She repeats his name again, the syllables broken up by a sharp, involuntary intake of breath. She pushes to her feet, still crying, still hiding her head against her arm, and she crosses the space between them with a few halting steps. She doesn't wrap her arms around him in an embrace. She doesn't try to cling to him like she has in the past. She just buries her face against his robes and digs her fingers into the cloth, stepping close so that he can at least feel his presence. In a way, she's forcing him to act - to do something. And failing that, she'll lean on him and use his presence as some sort of comfort, even if she wants more. Some acknowledgement.
The tears keep coming. ]
It hurts.
[ She doesn't say what "it" is voice muffled by his robes. The tears or the emotion or her loss and anger or something else entirely. It's just another small statement, another little voice that adds to the weight on her shoulders. ]
no subject
Those thoughts don't cross her mind, though. She's too wrapped up in the tears and the sobs and utterly draining, isolating feeling of letting grief and anger and pain vent itself in this messy, painful display of emotion. She can't see very well - she has to keep clearing her eyes - but she can see him near the door and a part of her wants to believe that he's only there so he could shut it, not because he wants to keep his distance from her. She sucks in another breath and it comes out in another painful sob, shoulders heaving.
She feels alone. Even with him in the room. It's a painful feeling, having to endure this by herself and maybe she understands Third Impact a little better now - or will, once she thinks back on this moment.
Asuka doesn't like to ask for help. She doesn't like to ask for anything. But he's there and he's not moving and she wants something. She lifts her gaze, blinking through the tears. ]
Kaji-
[ She repeats his name again, the syllables broken up by a sharp, involuntary intake of breath. She pushes to her feet, still crying, still hiding her head against her arm,
and she crosses the space between them with a few halting steps. She doesn't wrap her arms around him in an embrace. She doesn't try to cling to him like she has in the past. She just buries her face against his robes and digs her fingers into the cloth, stepping close so that he can at least feel his presence. In a way, she's forcing him to act - to do something. And failing that, she'll lean on him and use his presence as some sort of comfort, even if she wants more. Some acknowledgement.
The tears keep coming. ]
It hurts.
[ She doesn't say what "it" is voice muffled by his robes. The tears or the emotion or her loss and anger or something else entirely. It's just another small statement, another little voice that adds to the weight on her shoulders. ]