[ It's a thought that Sam starts but doesn't finish, because he's not sure what he's protesting. Bucky's not useless - shit, he's so damn far from useless, but Sam can't put into words how much Bucky means to him.
Misato's words echo in Sam's head - are you just looking for people to save - and Sam had denied it, but right now he wonders. Is that what he's doing here, just trying to save Bucky? As soon as he thinks it, though, his mind rebels. He's not, and he doesn't need Bucky to drag him down.
Sam does that well enough all on his own.
They're adrift, without Steve, and Sam can't figure out to tilt them back enough - he can't figure out how to be enough for Bucky.
How could he be? Even if Bucky never meant for Sam to feel like he needs to be Steve - Sam feels it enough himself. And even if Sam has never wanted Bucky to be anyone but who he is, someone caught between a weapon and a soldier, Bucky has never felt like he was enough. It's something they have in common, and maybe usually it makes their connection stronger - but right now it's too much, and even though Sam can feel them feeding off each other, he can't stop it. ]
(I don't want anything but you. If I gotta take a step back until you figure that out, I will, just - stay.)
[ I believe in you, he doesn't say but he feels - I love you, he keeps to himself, because this is a hell of a time to realize that, and neither of them need it right now.
Or maybe they both need it, but - Sam doesn't know what to do with it. ]
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[ It's a thought that Sam starts but doesn't finish, because he's not sure what he's protesting. Bucky's not useless - shit, he's so damn far from useless, but Sam can't put into words how much Bucky means to him.
Misato's words echo in Sam's head - are you just looking for people to save - and Sam had denied it, but right now he wonders. Is that what he's doing here, just trying to save Bucky? As soon as he thinks it, though, his mind rebels. He's not, and he doesn't need Bucky to drag him down.
Sam does that well enough all on his own.
They're adrift, without Steve, and Sam can't figure out to tilt them back enough - he can't figure out how to be enough for Bucky.
How could he be? Even if Bucky never meant for Sam to feel like he needs to be Steve - Sam feels it enough himself. And even if Sam has never wanted Bucky to be anyone but who he is, someone caught between a weapon and a soldier, Bucky has never felt like he was enough. It's something they have in common, and maybe usually it makes their connection stronger - but right now it's too much, and even though Sam can feel them feeding off each other, he can't stop it. ]
( I don't want anything but you. If I gotta take a step back until you figure that out, I will, just - stay. )
[ I believe in you, he doesn't say but he feels - I love you, he keeps to himself, because this is a hell of a time to realize that, and neither of them need it right now.
Or maybe they both need it, but - Sam doesn't know what to do with it. ]