[ After the jail, after Concordia, it had become near impossible to block Murphy out effectively. Bellamy's more in tune with him than he'd ever intended to be. That reality makes it difficult not to buckle under the emotions that unspool when Murphy crowds into his space. Before Murphy can step out of reach, Bellamy catches his elbow again. ]
(I never forget that we're soldiers to them. But you can't think I'd just forget about wanting to go home. I'm fighting this hard because I want this to be over, so we can leave safely.)
[ Octavia's face fills his mind, crowds out another, more cutting memory. Raven with one arm bound to a bedpost, blood on her face, voice mockingly accusing: Clarke's been back for one day and you're already taking orders. ]
(I went with you to that surgeon on Concordia because I didn't want to stay here. Nothing's changed.)
[ Except that Clarke changes everything. Bellamy's priorities have to shift, to include her safety, be sure of her well being. What he feels for her is cracked open and exposed, but maybe it never was. Murphy's always been able to incisively puzzle Bellamy out even before they were linked like this. ]
no subject
( I never forget that we're soldiers to them. But you can't think I'd just forget about wanting to go home. I'm fighting this hard because I want this to be over, so we can leave safely. )
[ Octavia's face fills his mind, crowds out another, more cutting memory. Raven with one arm bound to a bedpost, blood on her face, voice mockingly accusing: Clarke's been back for one day and you're already taking orders. ]
( I went with you to that surgeon on Concordia because I didn't want to stay here. Nothing's changed. )
[ Except that Clarke changes everything. Bellamy's priorities have to shift, to include her safety, be sure of her well being. What he feels for her is cracked open and exposed, but maybe it never was. Murphy's always been able to incisively puzzle Bellamy out even before they were linked like this. ]