[At the first half of Sam's response, Bucky blinks, candidly confused, but then tries to school his expression and bites his lip again. It's not possible. There's absolutely no way- Shiro is the better choice by magnitudes. Shiro loves Sam and Sam likes to be with Shiro. Bucky, the broken weapon, doesn't deserve any of this affection, even if it was possible to love a fractured man. He's not sure when he even put importance into things like love. HYDRA certainly didn't instill the desire in him, so he shouldn't have expected anything in the first place.
And yet it still feels like a competition, like he's back in Siberia, when the losers of trials were locked away and frozen and the victor allowed to participate in a mission. Bucky won most often, partially due to his more successful experiment, but there were still times when he lost and was locked away for an unknown time. None of his handlers expressed any subjective preference, instead reminding all of them of how the strongest would be able to walk around unfrozen.
He remembers losing. He remembers how his heart dropped into his feet as they pulled him away. No struggling.
But here he is, struggling when he should be good and pliant. He lost, plain and simple. There's only one spot available and he lost it to Shiro. He shouldn't be surprised he failed at something personal.
Rani didn't tell him anything he didn't already know, either. The fault lies entirely with Bucky for being weak and stupid.]
no subject
And yet it still feels like a competition, like he's back in Siberia, when the losers of trials were locked away and frozen and the victor allowed to participate in a mission. Bucky won most often, partially due to his more successful experiment, but there were still times when he lost and was locked away for an unknown time. None of his handlers expressed any subjective preference, instead reminding all of them of how the strongest would be able to walk around unfrozen.
He remembers losing. He remembers how his heart dropped into his feet as they pulled him away. No struggling.
But here he is, struggling when he should be good and pliant. He lost, plain and simple. There's only one spot available and he lost it to Shiro. He shouldn't be surprised he failed at something personal.
Rani didn't tell him anything he didn't already know, either. The fault lies entirely with Bucky for being weak and stupid.]
( No one did anything wrong. )