[ Miserable is putting it lightly. She's grieving the life she's lost, quite literally, and struggling with both becoming a vampire and everything to do with the Nest and this complex mission. It's the perfect storm to turn her life completely on end -- if Damon weren't here, she would certainly have tried to end this sham of a life by now. But he is here, he's doing his best to help her, and she can't let him down. ]
(Maybe not, but I have to get used to this. I need to learn control or I'll kill someone.)
[ And then all their lives would be in jeopardy. It's the other piece of the puzzle keeping her together, forcing her to get out of bed each day and keep trying despite how much it hurts. A pain deeper than the impression she receives from her connection to Bellamy, and she almost wishes someone would strike her like that. At least then she'd have something to focus on besides the need to sink her teeth into someone's skin. ]
no subject
( Maybe not, but I have to get used to this. I need to learn control or I'll kill someone. )
[ And then all their lives would be in jeopardy. It's the other piece of the puzzle keeping her together, forcing her to get out of bed each day and keep trying despite how much it hurts. A pain deeper than the impression she receives from her connection to Bellamy, and she almost wishes someone would strike her like that. At least then she'd have something to focus on besides the need to sink her teeth into someone's skin. ]