[ The options are to be tactful to Shinji, or expose her own foolishness to Kaji. But to make any progress, she supposes, she must try at least a little. So there's a terrible deep sigh - a frustration. ]
(A number of things, I suspect, where Master Shinji is concerned. Least among them, stabbing myself to prove a point, which is probably why he detests me so.
But aside from that, he was particular about us all keeping out of each other's heads and that we should just be private. I find myself at odds with it, his likening it to people kissing I suspect, in public. I certainly wouldn't be fawning over anyone outside of my own home, not in England either, they are against even the exposed wrist let along to a hold hand, but he seems utterly disdainful of it at all. Surely a boy his age is finding - oh, servant girls, something? But no matter. Perhaps he hasn't.
So I thought - when Miss Elena was being... intimate... with Master Damon. ) [ Her disgust is both palatable and without deliberate infection. ] (I thought given his inclination, offering him someone else to talk to while that was happening would be... considerate. He informed me I was in part, gossiping, he wanted no part of it - and that how would I feel if people discussed my intimate acts? I realized I had absolutely no idea because my intimate acts were a matter of state and when I became with child, a widespread celebration, and rather often I would have servants just outside the room, no less.
I did not tell him the last part, of course. I felt... that might be too much. )
[ She, you know, tried. But it's honest, so far as it goes. Out of time and out of step in far too many ways, she's realising the longer and more she interacts. What she took as normal, whether that be living in palaces, or living in brothels - none of it was the same anymore. That knitted little frown because she doesn't take any kind of care about herself that way. She never had. What was the point?
But as she goes - she's sorry, Kaji, but she's on a roll now of 'things Lakshmi Bai does not understand'. ] (For another matter, Master Shiro seemed quite upset with the notion that I was married at 13. I understand the responsibility of becoming Queen at that age is a great deal. But marriage - ? It is perfectly respectable. In fact, most people here seem terribly upset with the idea of marriage. I did not ask them to cut off their hands, but I might as well have done so for all the upset I caused by doing so. )
sticks this after all her other fuck ups with shinji
( A number of things, I suspect, where Master Shinji is concerned. Least among them, stabbing myself to prove a point, which is probably why he detests me so.
But aside from that, he was particular about us all keeping out of each other's heads and that we should just be private. I find myself at odds with it, his likening it to people kissing I suspect, in public. I certainly wouldn't be fawning over anyone outside of my own home, not in England either, they are against even the exposed wrist let along to a hold hand, but he seems utterly disdainful of it at all. Surely a boy his age is finding - oh, servant girls, something? But no matter. Perhaps he hasn't.
So I thought - when Miss Elena was being... intimate... with Master Damon. ) [ Her disgust is both palatable and without deliberate infection. ] ( I thought given his inclination, offering him someone else to talk to while that was happening would be... considerate. He informed me I was in part, gossiping, he wanted no part of it - and that how would I feel if people discussed my intimate acts? I realized I had absolutely no idea because my intimate acts were a matter of state and when I became with child, a widespread celebration, and rather often I would have servants just outside the room, no less.
I did not tell him the last part, of course. I felt... that might be too much. )
[ She, you know, tried. But it's honest, so far as it goes. Out of time and out of step in far too many ways, she's realising the longer and more she interacts. What she took as normal, whether that be living in palaces, or living in brothels - none of it was the same anymore. That knitted little frown because she doesn't take any kind of care about herself that way. She never had. What was the point?
But as she goes - she's sorry, Kaji, but she's on a roll now of 'things Lakshmi Bai does not understand'. ] ( For another matter, Master Shiro seemed quite upset with the notion that I was married at 13. I understand the responsibility of becoming Queen at that age is a great deal. But marriage - ? It is perfectly respectable. In fact, most people here seem terribly upset with the idea of marriage. I did not ask them to cut off their hands, but I might as well have done so for all the upset I caused by doing so. )