mental link; it's a catbus!

[wille]

[ It's an ungodly hour of the night as these things go, with both Misato and Gildor's minds flickering to announce their presence to all. Forceful and unapologetic, for her part, while urgent and unsettling, for his part. They insist on your attention. ]

( Everyone. We found something out there beyond the barrier. It was too dark for us to see much-- )

(Or anything, for some of us, but-- )

( But it's massive-- )

(Big as the shuttles that brought us-- )

( And predatory. At least, it seemed pretty clear that it wanted to take a chunk out of us. Some of you found tracks the other day, right? Let's talk. )
 

Comments

[wille]

[ How generous. When she isn't even generous enough to argue his point, dismissing it entirely instead. ]

( If you don't want to do it, you can just say so. )

[extradite]

( I know I can say that. )


[ There's a smile, all teeth, and it's grinding down. ]

[wille]

[ In a match for who can wear down the other's defenses faster, Shinji will come out the winner every time. This is a sigh. ]

( Okay . . . fine. I don't think you know half the things you should know. )

[extradite]

( If there's something missing in my training... even though it's late, I suppose I can try. If It's important to learn. )


[ It's not as if there was a manual. ]

[wille]

[ There are manuals and textbooks alright, all of them duds. Circus for the masses. Her mind is a firm grip on his, a brace to hold him steady so he can't turn away. ]

( Shinji-kun. That's not what I meant. There were things we didn't tell you because you wouldn't have piloted the Eva if you knew. I'm sorry. )

[extradite]

[ Or, There were things we didn't tell you because you mattered less than your piloting. ]

( If I asked you to tell me everything now, would you? )

[wille]

[ She remembers the Fourth. How she can't yet explain to herself why she couldn't tell him. ]

( Whatever I do know. Yes. )

[extradite]

( Misato... )

[ Liar. Liar, liar, liar. She'll never. ]

( What makes something a monster? Something. Someone. )

[wille]

[ A trap, when she had expected to list out impersonal facts removed from subjective opinion. Her response comes delayed. ]

( That's just what we call someone or something that's against us. That wants to hurt or kill us. And they-- they would call us monsters too for fighting back. )

[ Fundamentally the same. Sadly we can't coexist. ]

[extradite]

( Isn't that just the 'enemy'? )

[ They hardly called Japan Heavy Chemical Industries 'monster's, even when their fabrication looked the part. ]

[wille]

[ She wouldn't seek to harm or kill the people of Japan Heavy Chemical Industries either, though NERV believed otherwise and Kaji acted accordingly. She remembers, and betrays her earlier words, to keep this secret from him. ]

( You're asking if we've become monsters, cause what's in our heads? )

[extradite]

( I'm asking why we called them monsters. Angels. Eva. Everyone else. )

[ Anyone different. Themselves, on rare occasion. ]

( I'm asking what gave us the right. Is that clear enough? )

[wille]

[ Clear? No, the twists and turns of Shinji's mind has never been clear. Like walking down the hallways of one's house, reversed. ]

( What are you saying? That because we're like monsters too now, we don't have the right? )

[extradite]

( I'm saying... I just want to know why we have the right. Why we're so sure. Why we're confident. )


[ He's saying he isn't any of these things at all. ]

[wille]

[ Wouldn't Shinji be pleased to know that right this moment she thinks his words echo that of Kaji's only weeks before? Perhaps less eloquent, less sure, as he rightly puts it, but no less keen. Her silence is of the kind exuded from the doorway with only her silhouette visible to him, shadow against the light. ]

( And if we are monsters just like them, what do you think we should do? )

[extradite]

[ The moment exudes too much drama for his good humor or Misato's patience. He knows as much, waiting on bursts of temper that never reveal themselves. ]

( That... Misato... what do monsters do best? )

[ Kill or die. Search or be destroyed. Conquer or show their throat. ]

[wille]

( Are you going to keep asking others to tell you how to live? Changing the words around don't mean anything. )

[extradite]

( You said... you just said you'd tell me everything. Everything you know. You can't — )

[ She can do anything she likes. ]

( You just said. )

[wille]

[ His protest could have been about anything. About a canceled day at the zoo. About being promised the world and denied a lollipop. She pauses, and digs into what well of compassion she has left. She softens her voice to dull the edges of her words. ]

( Everything I know. I can't tell you who you should be here. That's for you to decide. )

[extradite]

( I didn't ask you that. )

[ It's come to this, then, though: her equating the two words in her thoughts, searching their shape and their weight and finding them with the same dark eyes, the same pale form. 'Monster'. 'Shinji'. ]

( I... I. Misato. Me. Myself. This individual. Shinji. I killed someone. You all called him a monster. But he was a person. A real person. Realer than you and me. )

[wille]

[ Ah. So it's come to this. Her pause is a wise one, when she tries on and discards the many names she could have used instead. Tabris. The Fifth, no, the Seventeenth. ]

( Nagisa Kaworu. ) [ A real name for a real person, right? ] ( Why did you do it then? )