[Bucky would never ask Sam to pull back, whether with his emotions or his embrace. Sam is one of the few people in the world who has seen every piece of him and come to love him despite all that, despite being thrown by the jaw, despite being kicked off a building with one wing. For Bucky, some days come more easily, when he can look at Sam--- look at what they've built--- and not feel entirely overwhelmed. However, today is not one of those days. Today is far from his good days and when Sam opens their connection wider, his anger and grief pours into gaps.
There's so much he doesn't want to feel: the sense of betrayal, the disgust, the lingering nausea following the question of when will he be next. What Bucky wants is to hold Sam, out here away from everything, and try to ignore the emotions chewing up his insides. Their bedrolls are all prepared and, so, Bucky gives Sam a little tug toward them, selfish and fully aware of it. He hates this, hates needing anything, but he needs a break.]
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There's so much he doesn't want to feel: the sense of betrayal, the disgust, the lingering nausea following the question of when will he be next. What Bucky wants is to hold Sam, out here away from everything, and try to ignore the emotions chewing up his insides. Their bedrolls are all prepared and, so, Bucky gives Sam a little tug toward them, selfish and fully aware of it. He hates this, hates needing anything, but he needs a break.]