[Coming to care for Bellamy may be the very thing that put Lexa in this position. She had justified caring for him in place of caring for Clarke, at least to some extent. But neither of them spoke of her. They had spent two or three months referring to her without ever saying her name. Doing that would have asked too much. And when they arrived, Lexa had offered to give up her claim, as if she could do such a thing.
Lexa had given up everything for Clarke, including her life. If it hadn't been for Bellamy obliterating Clarke's trust in him and forcing her hand to make a plea to Lexa, would she have had death waiting for her at Titus' hand? Likely not. She can't bring herself to resent Bellamy or Clarke for this fact. She won't throw that in their faces. It's not Clarke's fault that Titus felt he needed to lay down threats to get his way. It's not Clarke's fault that Lexa had been so in love with her that she went against her people's traditions to change.
(She's still changed. Even now, the act of killing another has greater weight. It has since she first arrived in the Nest. Not all live can be preserved, but she has to consider the bigger picture when taking a life.)
Lexa's arms drop down underneath the table. It's hard to suppress the emotion that she feels right now. It threatens to burst at the seams.]
(Respect what it is that I see, Clarke. Respect the months I've spent with Bellamy. I've given up everything that I am. I've seen Polis burn. But none of that compares to how I feel here. With you. And what I am prepared to give up. I have been asked to rebuild my life from nothing, to listen to hopes of returning to a world that will forget me. That moved on without me. That couldn't even be impacted by my legacy. But what hurts more is that I live and breathe here knowing that while you make excuses for him, you can't bring yourself to do the same for me. And that you can't bring yourself to see what that means.) [Lexa knows that it may be petty to put some of those words that way. She doesn't want to be let off when it comes to her mistakes. Her mind is open enough to Clarke that she hopes that's clear: she doesn't care about that, not really. It's just what it means for there to be a contrast.
Even in death, Lexa can't muster up the legacy to last forever in the hearts of her people and in the heart of Clarke. If anything, she's a fixture of what could have been, an icon that can burn rather than be revered. It's how her people manage. It's how she wanted her people to manage.
But it still hurts. It's a pain she's dealt with since she first saw Polis burning, and she can't seem to make it go away.]
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Lexa had given up everything for Clarke, including her life. If it hadn't been for Bellamy obliterating Clarke's trust in him and forcing her hand to make a plea to Lexa, would she have had death waiting for her at Titus' hand? Likely not. She can't bring herself to resent Bellamy or Clarke for this fact. She won't throw that in their faces. It's not Clarke's fault that Titus felt he needed to lay down threats to get his way. It's not Clarke's fault that Lexa had been so in love with her that she went against her people's traditions to change.
(She's still changed. Even now, the act of killing another has greater weight. It has since she first arrived in the Nest. Not all live can be preserved, but she has to consider the bigger picture when taking a life.)
Lexa's arms drop down underneath the table. It's hard to suppress the emotion that she feels right now. It threatens to burst at the seams.]
( Respect what it is that I see, Clarke. Respect the months I've spent with Bellamy. I've given up everything that I am. I've seen Polis burn. But none of that compares to how I feel here. With you. And what I am prepared to give up. I have been asked to rebuild my life from nothing, to listen to hopes of returning to a world that will forget me. That moved on without me. That couldn't even be impacted by my legacy. But what hurts more is that I live and breathe here knowing that while you make excuses for him, you can't bring yourself to do the same for me. And that you can't bring yourself to see what that means. ) [Lexa knows that it may be petty to put some of those words that way. She doesn't want to be let off when it comes to her mistakes. Her mind is open enough to Clarke that she hopes that's clear: she doesn't care about that, not really. It's just what it means for there to be a contrast.
Even in death, Lexa can't muster up the legacy to last forever in the hearts of her people and in the heart of Clarke. If anything, she's a fixture of what could have been, an icon that can burn rather than be revered. It's how her people manage. It's how she wanted her people to manage.
But it still hurts. It's a pain she's dealt with since she first saw Polis burning, and she can't seem to make it go away.]