adamance: (keep your heart close)
lexa ([personal profile] adamance) wrote in [community profile] station72 2017-12-04 09:34 pm (UTC)

[Her anger only twists and turns at his response, like she's irritated because he chose not to play along with her game. Lexa wants to correct him. She wants to cut into him and help him realize precisely how nearsighted he is—and she wants it to hurt. But he doesn't offer her any ammunition. Perhaps it's wise of him. Or perhaps he's afraid of what he might have to say, well aware that he could make things worse. That could be a matter of wisdom or stupidity. Lexa hasn't decided.]

( Being here now means that you have only lost your people. Your sister. I've been reminded from the first day that I'm no longer who I was raised to be. When I attempt to right a situation, I'm countered by it. Accused of trying to do more than I am. And even, once, blamed for the circumstances that would've led to my death. ) [That was her perception of the situation. She doesn't accept that last part, and her frustration is apparent in those final words, like it's been a constant festering problem since the words first came from Murphy's mouth.

(But even with how raw she is, Bellamy will have no way to know that Murphy inflicted that wound. He may be able to guess—but to Lexa, it's just one incident among many that's marked her existence as a Host.)]


( I've had no choice but to accept my losses. And to rebuild my life. The person who's been closest to me all the while has been you. In turn, you live in a fantasy based upon empty hopes. No one can use what you've lost as a weapon. )

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