[ there's a surge of relief when Nureyev responds and Juno isn't imagining him here in some brief flash of grief-induced insanity, enough to be louder than his guilt, his regret, his need to crawl into a hole somewhere rather than look Nureyev in the eye. he's not used to directing thoughts — the telepathy was only ever a one-way street, looking in on someone else's mind. but that means he's more familiar with crawling inside of Nureyev's head, knows the shape of it and where things lie, so he tries that instead, just reaching.
he shoves aside anyone in his way, elbows between people to find the other end of the tether he's grasping. he'd pull the veil off his head right now if it hadn't been impressed upon them how dire the need for secrecy is. ]
(So are you. I didn't—) [ think you'd be here, know if you were safe, because if everyone else is paying for Juno's mistakes then it seems natural to assume it would hurt the people he cares about no matter where they are. ] (That thing was turning Hyperion to glass.)
[ the shock had managed to keep the black mass of everything in him at bay, held off just by how fucking surreal it all is, but to have Nureyev here makes it real again: distress rising to a keening pitch because Hyperion City paid the toll for Juno's entire wretched existence. it's the needle skipping on a record over and over again, all of Juno's roots still wound desperately tight around Hyperion — the buildings going down in a shower of glass shards like the rain on distant planets Juno didn't have to think about, like they mattered that little. all the people in the streets. and he has to wonder how far it searched before the stranger found him, how many people died because of him, wonders if even Rita— Rita— ]
(What the hell have I done?)
[ abandon his city or let it fall, what kind of choice is that to make? ]
no subject
he shoves aside anyone in his way, elbows between people to find the other end of the tether he's grasping. he'd pull the veil off his head right now if it hadn't been impressed upon them how dire the need for secrecy is. ]
( So are you. I didn't— ) [ think you'd be here, know if you were safe, because if everyone else is paying for Juno's mistakes then it seems natural to assume it would hurt the people he cares about no matter where they are. ] ( That thing was turning Hyperion to glass. )
[ the shock had managed to keep the black mass of everything in him at bay, held off just by how fucking surreal it all is, but to have Nureyev here makes it real again: distress rising to a keening pitch because Hyperion City paid the toll for Juno's entire wretched existence. it's the needle skipping on a record over and over again, all of Juno's roots still wound desperately tight around Hyperion — the buildings going down in a shower of glass shards like the rain on distant planets Juno didn't have to think about, like they mattered that little. all the people in the streets. and he has to wonder how far it searched before the stranger found him, how many people died because of him, wonders if even Rita— Rita— ]
( What the hell have I done? )
[ abandon his city or let it fall, what kind of choice is that to make? ]