Bucky isn't the only one who feels like he failed after that night, but he knows Bucky's gotta be taking it a hell of a lot harder. Not for sure, of course, considering Bucky's gone back into his isolating routine, but he knows Bucky, and he -
There's something off about it. Sam'd promised to give Bucky his space if he really needed it, promised to do better about figuring out what was isolating because of the programming and what was just Bucky being too overwhelmed. Bucky'd taken off in the middle of the night after, pulled away from him, and Sam'd planned on giving him just a few hours, just enough to get his own head back on straight.
But then Shepard and Damon had started setting things on fire and he had to step in, and then there was another circle and literally everything was on fire. Sam's mind had been split too much, part with the infiltration team, part with those starting the fire, part with his team trying to keep it going and make sure no one gets hurt, part in actually trying to do his job and contain the fire -
And part with Bucky. There's always part with Bucky, even when he's trying to keep himself cut off from Sam.
So he knows when things get bad. He should have known before that, he should have known how bad things were, shouldn't have let himself get distracted by everything else going on. But there's no point in should haves, not right now. The poison burns through Bucky's veins and spreads across their brood bond, and for a moment it damn near knocks him off his feet.
He can't let it. Bucky's too important for him to let this sideline him when he needs him, and Sam pushes through, struggling to block off the pain through their shared connection as he tracks him down.
There's a string of curses, even though he knows Bucky's probably not gonna hear him. He can feel Bucky's mind distant, trapped either in the programming or flashback or both. Everything in Sam wants to chase him down, dive into their brood bond and pull him out - or at the very least stay with him so he isn't alone through what it's making him do - but he's gotta get Bucky breathing first.
Whatever Winter Soldier healing abilities he's got don't matter to Sam right now, not when he can feel Bucky's pain, not when he's not breathing. Sam shoves down his panic, forcing his breathing slow and steady, and lays Bucky down flat so he can get his hands on his chest and start desperate compressions for CPR.
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There's something off about it. Sam'd promised to give Bucky his space if he really needed it, promised to do better about figuring out what was isolating because of the programming and what was just Bucky being too overwhelmed. Bucky'd taken off in the middle of the night after, pulled away from him, and Sam'd planned on giving him just a few hours, just enough to get his own head back on straight.
But then Shepard and Damon had started setting things on fire and he had to step in, and then there was another circle and literally everything was on fire. Sam's mind had been split too much, part with the infiltration team, part with those starting the fire, part with his team trying to keep it going and make sure no one gets hurt, part in actually trying to do his job and contain the fire -
And part with Bucky. There's always part with Bucky, even when he's trying to keep himself cut off from Sam.
So he knows when things get bad. He should have known before that, he should have known how bad things were, shouldn't have let himself get distracted by everything else going on. But there's no point in should haves, not right now. The poison burns through Bucky's veins and spreads across their brood bond, and for a moment it damn near knocks him off his feet.
He can't let it. Bucky's too important for him to let this sideline him when he needs him, and Sam pushes through, struggling to block off the pain through their shared connection as he tracks him down.
There's a string of curses, even though he knows Bucky's probably not gonna hear him. He can feel Bucky's mind distant, trapped either in the programming or flashback or both. Everything in Sam wants to chase him down, dive into their brood bond and pull him out - or at the very least stay with him so he isn't alone through what it's making him do - but he's gotta get Bucky breathing first.
Whatever Winter Soldier healing abilities he's got don't matter to Sam right now, not when he can feel Bucky's pain, not when he's not breathing. Sam shoves down his panic, forcing his breathing slow and steady, and lays Bucky down flat so he can get his hands on his chest and start desperate compressions for CPR.
"Come on, baby, I need you to breathe for me."