Isn't that the truth. His gaze drops to the side for a moment, his thoughts radiating silent agreement, for the most part. But...
"Every now and then."
There had been one person who'd managed to understand him, somehow. Far better than he even understood himself. And that had been like having a weight he'd spent his entire life dragging around suddenly lifted, because he'd been so sure there was no way anyone else would ever understand him. He was too fucked up. He was never going to be able to live with normal people and he shouldn't be allowed to anyway. Estelle had somehow just swatted aside all of his objections, figured out the things he couldn't admit even to himself -
And now he was here, and she was back home, and he was never going to see her again, and he had to wonder if he'd just be better off never having known what he was going to lose by having had her in his life.
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"Every now and then."
There had been one person who'd managed to understand him, somehow. Far better than he even understood himself. And that had been like having a weight he'd spent his entire life dragging around suddenly lifted, because he'd been so sure there was no way anyone else would ever understand him. He was too fucked up. He was never going to be able to live with normal people and he shouldn't be allowed to anyway. Estelle had somehow just swatted aside all of his objections, figured out the things he couldn't admit even to himself -
And now he was here, and she was back home, and he was never going to see her again, and he had to wonder if he'd just be better off never having known what he was going to lose by having had her in his life.
"...for all the good that does."