day 44

[inflori]

[ His voice, even in his head, is tired. Exhausted and extremely irritated, even, with the petulance of a mind not yet fully awake. Petre was pulled from his comatose state just as suddenly as he fell into it, the stress of a broodmate being ripped from him having lifted from his symbiote. Now it's ready to keep going, but it hasn't given Petre the same courtesy just yet. He'll get there eventually. ]

( Why do you have to be so loud? )

[ ... All of you, he means. Ugh. ]

Comments

[inflori]

[ Well gorsh, fine.

She gets the mental equivalent of a scrawny shrug, and Petre sets off to do what he does best:

No wait, that's whining.

The second thing he does best: eat. And then he ambles off to the training wing, where that aggravating mentor of his awaits. ]

[adamance]

I trust you've eaten enough? I'd hate for this to end early because you decided you were hungry again. [Though Lexa knows that she had been chided for her rougher examination of Petre—or something like that, since she's not ignorant to Misato's pointed criticisms of her—it doesn't bring a turn in her behavior. She likes the manner that they have, and she also likes to see if she can provoke him.

Then again, she's fairly certain he does the same.]

[inflori]

Sorry to disappoint you, [ he boasts, tone tearing down his words with boyish irony, ] But I'm always hungry. I just took time from my busy schedule to come see you.

[ If waking up from his coma had made him sensitive and prone to irritation at first, this is proof that Petre's picked himself up and gone back to being himself in entirety. Everyone knows that's worse, right. ]

So you should feel special.

[adamance]

[It may be worse, but there's some relief to be found in it—at least for Lexa. She would prefer to not have to coddle him. That isn't where she stands with him.]

I always feel special, Petre. I don't need your validation to maintain it.

[There should be a strain of humor to these words. And there is. But to some degree, Lexa does believe in herself that much.]

I'd prefer if you focus on yourself with it. Apparently, you need to hear that you've done well. Is that true?

[inflori]

Wow, your mom and dad must feel real proud.

[ And that's his brand of humor, as sardonic as ever. ]

I don't know, do I? [ Yes. Yes he does. ] Never hurts to tell me I'm awesome. Since I am.

[adamance]

It sounds like you're very assured of yourself. You won't need to hear anything from me. [If anything, Lexa figures that it would just add a complication to things. Why do that? At least this way, she can pretend to be disconnected, like she's maintaining a barrier between her and another person (like she does with most people).]

[inflori]

Sounds like you're afraid what might happen if you admit it.

[ Here they are, butting heads again. Business as usual, because it's fun. Aggravating at times, but entertaining in its familiarity. That's what he needs right now. ]

[adamance]

If I thought that you made a poor warrior, I wouldn't waste my time with you. I think it's obvious that I think you have some talent. Whether you utilize it well is another thing.

[Though she has no idea what he might need, she does see the necessity in returning to form for anyone. It's a way of manifesting control. Sometimes, that's all they can do.

And both of them are without broods, though Lexa's severed bonds are far from being as severe as Petre's.]

[inflori]

[ The sense of victory, however small, is present in the curve of Petre's lips. Barely there, boyish, genuine, either because he's managed to get a part of what he wanted or because Lexa's approval really does matter. Ew. ]

I think it's obvious I've been doing it right. Most of the time.

[ It's the rest he needs help with. So that, you know, he doesn't keep fucking up. ]

[adamance]

If you mean that you haven't died yet, it's most likely because there are those here who hope to prevent it.

[Yes, there may be a little bit of validation, but also, Lexa likes to take away what she sometimes gives. That's certainly what she's just done here.]

[inflori]

But I have died.

[ The explosion that took Anakin's life. For a moment it took Petre's, too, making his brood scream with the pain, and making the few survivors on the site scream when Petre sunk his teeth into their throats to take back the life he'd lost.

So yeah, they should hope to prevent it anyway. He seems to be proud of this fact, not relieved. ]

[adamance]

Have you? Explain. [In that moment, Lexa had been single-minded, so caught up in the feeling of grief from Ahsoka that she had wanted to shed it. The explosion had left her moving out with Sam, mind blocking any of the prevailing sentiments from inside. She had a mission.

And that mission had guarded her from the pain she felt.

It also allowed her to avoid the reality of death, at least for a moment. She knows that every minute here is one in which she exists on borrowed time. It's an unsettling feeling.]

cw cannibalism for the thread

[inflori]

There was that explosion back in the other mission. I got caught in the blast.

[ He shrugs it off, smile gone. What would Lexa say if she saw him tearing into flesh, eating it up? ]

[adamance]

I hadn't felt your loss, but it seems that you're more resilient than most. That doesn't mean it will always be like that.

[Or else he wouldn't have needed saving in the first place—he wouldn't be here.]

[inflori]

[ Who knows what would have happened, should Petre have stayed in the world that burned to a crisp. It could have been the Devil finally turning it into Her playground, for all he knew, but a fundamental part of having sold his soul for a second chance was that he would have sold it for half the price if it meant not going to hell after all.

So he came here instead. ]

Yeah, well, make sure you're not around when it happens again.

[ When. ]

[adamance]

I don't intend to be your prey, Petre. [Her tone is sharp. There is more to what he says than the inevitability of him falling within inches of his life yet again. Lexa recognizes the desire to keep her within safer boundaries—even if he might not recognize that himself.]

The point of this training is for you to learn restraint. You may not need to replenish yourself so quickly in the future.

[inflori]

Why are you saying that like I actually want to eat you.

[ Petre sometimes shows signs of caring about other people. In weird ways, that deny anything might be there, positive or otherwise. They're both sufficiently stubborn in that aspect, actions speaking louder than words. ]

I'm not supposed to be able to control it.

[adamance]

It sounds as if it's less a matter of what you want in a situation like that. I know the importance of survival. [Frankly, this acts as both a response to the former and latter statements. But he is showing restraint in this moment. She just sees no need to encourage him to act in a way that forces him to replenish himself quickly.]

[inflori]

-- No, I. I do want to. [ He wants to eat people, in fact, he enjoys it. It's only the fact that he is inserted in this situation that keeps him from losing control and indulging more often, even though he has done it before. It didn't go over well. ] I like it.

[adamance]

You like being on the verge of death, forced to nearly kill anyone you've come to consider a comrade because they're close by? [Lexa realizes that this might be where the misunderstanding has come from.]

[inflori]

[ again: ] No. That's not what I want.

I just want it because it tastes good. [ begrudgingly: ] From other people.

You wouldn't understand.

[adamance]

[Lexa is silent for a moment. She doesn't understand, not fully, but Petre has painted enough of a picture for her to try to put the pieces together. There are cultures where what he is might be seen as a ritual, but never made into reality. But he is that reality, at least to some degree.]

I don't. [It feels necessary to voice this.] But it's not a simple matter of sustenance, is it? It makes you feel powerful. It grants you power. Is that correct? [She still finds it to be something outside of the realm of her understanding, at least personally.

But she knows about what it's like to feel powerful. Sometimes, it's not so bad to feel that way.]

[inflori]

[ it's weird to come to the realization of these things - to see that they're the truth, they always have been, but somewhere in a blind spot until it's brought around by seeing hands. ]

... Yeah. Every time I attack someone for real, they're terrified of me. Everyone else thinks it's so easy to make fun of me. They have no fucking clue.

[adamance]

I tease you because that's the rapport we have. If someone else does that, consider whether they do it because they think that's how you communicate, or if they simply think less of you. I'd be surprised if it's the latter. [Somewhere in her mind, she's aware that she's speaking to him like a sour child. Though she's conscious of this, she isn't acting on it, at least to some degree. Lexa doesn't want to patronize him.

Which says a lot, because she's a pretty fucking patronizing individual at the end of the day.]

I'm not surprised that you're powerful. I've taken interest in you because I want you to learn how to harness that power correctly. A Commander like myself gains nothing from training someone who's weak.

[In a way, Misato's urging to get her to tell Petre that he's good in some way has come to fruition. She hadn't expected it to, but here they are.]

[inflori]

[ There's always a dichotomy when Lexa talks to him - like yes, he's a child, but then it's like she sees him as a prodigy. He likes it, the value deposited in the attention he's given. Even if he still has to figure out what to do with it in a non-frustrating way. ]

Commander. [ He considers, smirking just because. ] So what happens when you think I'm ready?