day 44

[inflori]

[ His voice, even in his head, is tired. Exhausted and extremely irritated, even, with the petulance of a mind not yet fully awake. Petre was pulled from his comatose state just as suddenly as he fell into it, the stress of a broodmate being ripped from him having lifted from his symbiote. Now it's ready to keep going, but it hasn't given Petre the same courtesy just yet. He'll get there eventually. ]

( Why do you have to be so loud? )

[ ... All of you, he means. Ugh. ]

Comments

[adamance]

I hadn't felt your loss, but it seems that you're more resilient than most. That doesn't mean it will always be like that.

[Or else he wouldn't have needed saving in the first place—he wouldn't be here.]

[inflori]

[ Who knows what would have happened, should Petre have stayed in the world that burned to a crisp. It could have been the Devil finally turning it into Her playground, for all he knew, but a fundamental part of having sold his soul for a second chance was that he would have sold it for half the price if it meant not going to hell after all.

So he came here instead. ]

Yeah, well, make sure you're not around when it happens again.

[ When. ]

[adamance]

I don't intend to be your prey, Petre. [Her tone is sharp. There is more to what he says than the inevitability of him falling within inches of his life yet again. Lexa recognizes the desire to keep her within safer boundaries—even if he might not recognize that himself.]

The point of this training is for you to learn restraint. You may not need to replenish yourself so quickly in the future.

[inflori]

Why are you saying that like I actually want to eat you.

[ Petre sometimes shows signs of caring about other people. In weird ways, that deny anything might be there, positive or otherwise. They're both sufficiently stubborn in that aspect, actions speaking louder than words. ]

I'm not supposed to be able to control it.

[adamance]

It sounds as if it's less a matter of what you want in a situation like that. I know the importance of survival. [Frankly, this acts as both a response to the former and latter statements. But he is showing restraint in this moment. She just sees no need to encourage him to act in a way that forces him to replenish himself quickly.]

[inflori]

-- No, I. I do want to. [ He wants to eat people, in fact, he enjoys it. It's only the fact that he is inserted in this situation that keeps him from losing control and indulging more often, even though he has done it before. It didn't go over well. ] I like it.

[adamance]

You like being on the verge of death, forced to nearly kill anyone you've come to consider a comrade because they're close by? [Lexa realizes that this might be where the misunderstanding has come from.]

[inflori]

[ again: ] No. That's not what I want.

I just want it because it tastes good. [ begrudgingly: ] From other people.

You wouldn't understand.

[adamance]

[Lexa is silent for a moment. She doesn't understand, not fully, but Petre has painted enough of a picture for her to try to put the pieces together. There are cultures where what he is might be seen as a ritual, but never made into reality. But he is that reality, at least to some degree.]

I don't. [It feels necessary to voice this.] But it's not a simple matter of sustenance, is it? It makes you feel powerful. It grants you power. Is that correct? [She still finds it to be something outside of the realm of her understanding, at least personally.

But she knows about what it's like to feel powerful. Sometimes, it's not so bad to feel that way.]

[inflori]

[ it's weird to come to the realization of these things - to see that they're the truth, they always have been, but somewhere in a blind spot until it's brought around by seeing hands. ]

... Yeah. Every time I attack someone for real, they're terrified of me. Everyone else thinks it's so easy to make fun of me. They have no fucking clue.

[adamance]

I tease you because that's the rapport we have. If someone else does that, consider whether they do it because they think that's how you communicate, or if they simply think less of you. I'd be surprised if it's the latter. [Somewhere in her mind, she's aware that she's speaking to him like a sour child. Though she's conscious of this, she isn't acting on it, at least to some degree. Lexa doesn't want to patronize him.

Which says a lot, because she's a pretty fucking patronizing individual at the end of the day.]

I'm not surprised that you're powerful. I've taken interest in you because I want you to learn how to harness that power correctly. A Commander like myself gains nothing from training someone who's weak.

[In a way, Misato's urging to get her to tell Petre that he's good in some way has come to fruition. She hadn't expected it to, but here they are.]

[inflori]

[ There's always a dichotomy when Lexa talks to him - like yes, he's a child, but then it's like she sees him as a prodigy. He likes it, the value deposited in the attention he's given. Even if he still has to figure out what to do with it in a non-frustrating way. ]

Commander. [ He considers, smirking just because. ] So what happens when you think I'm ready?

[adamance]

I trust that you'll know when it happens. [In a very big way, trust is at the heart of it. She believes that Petre will know himself better because he'll be better disciplined. Plus, Lexa knows that she will trust him more.]

[inflori]

[ And again: silence. Is anyone ever going to talk to him like she does? To try to make of him what she does? ]

... Okay. So. Let's just get on with training or whatever.

end thread here?

[adamance]

Very well.

[Training montage initiates.]

perfect!

[inflori]

[ mentor-student bickering tbc. ]