station72 | [open] isn't that awful

CHARACTERS: Ilde, and relationships extending outward.
WHERE: Bearings
WHEN: Post Boom 023 - 027-ish
SUMMARY: Untangling the threads of disaster.
WARNINGS: Castor.

hush while i put all this shit together.

I have made some top level categories, but if you want to do something outside them, feel free to make a comment.

Organization Bout It Out OOC Organization Punch Everything Outline	Bout It Out Reviews With Lexa What The Goal Is Talks to Tiny Sam Ilde Performs Her Creepy Song To Creep Everyone Out -- Has fans in the audience, subspace hooligan types she has been building a fanbase with. -- Sam & Steve have each performed as unofficial 'managers' to keep up appearances. -- Watches all the matches upon recovery from performance, but is pretty spent. Says Some Creepy Shit To Nirad Snuggles With Ren
Explosion Gets Blown Up Sam & Ren Ilde Is Fine + Top Level -- In shock physically, exhausted psychically, trapped emotionally inside of Ren's tantrum. -- Refuses to be removed from the scene without Ren. -- Can't stop him, can't stop Steve. Darkling Checks On Her Darkling Goes To Comfort Ren & All Hell Breaks Loose Tells Petre To Fuck Off Comforted By Nate -- Finally lets him take her back to the Bearings once everything has concluded.	Recovery Goes The Fuck To Sleep -- Gets cleaned up with Angel's help. Checks on Tiny Sam Meets Up With Big Sam Bucky & Steve Ren & Hux Ren & Darkthing
Pre-Talks Ilde & Steve Ilde & Darkling Darkling & Sam Darkling & Steve Sam & Ren Ren & Steve Ilde & Ren	Upcoming Castor Meeting Prep For Underground Rank II Underground

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ She's waiting for all of them, one knee over the other. There's a little pinch between her brows, a frown that is there too often. She lets them choose their places, and for a moment she even contemplates letting them speak before her, but... She knows what she has to say. ]

We have failed ourselves, again.

[ She folds her hands together over one knee, flexing her foot lazily in the open air. ]

There is no blame heavier than any other, we all contribute. We have not progressed since the last time we had this conversation. This cannot continue.

[ More assertive than she has ever been, someone has been saying something to her. ]

My only concern for the remaining time we are on Concordia is that I return to the Station with what remains of my brood. However you see fit to achieve that, see it done.

[ She brushes off her skirts as she stands, but that is her only real hesitation before she stalks off to the stairs. She sees no need at all to continue the conversation, it has been had, and the diplomacy of it is worthless, clearly. ]

[That, he did not expect. Perhaps he should have. Perhaps if he had, the sternness in her words would sting less. But then again he's always had thin skin, and in the end he feels wounded all the same. Betrayed.

Had she not seen what he had lost? Did it mean so little to her, was it so trivial that she would think to chastise him? —or that it was somehow her place to. The thoughts swell like a rising tide, a steady, livid pressure against his temples; it shows at the corners of his mouth where they've turned sharp, jaw working to grit his teeth.

Better that she did not stay long enough to see the flames she fanned.]

[ Guilt stutters through iron-willed certainty that his decision was the right one in the moment, guilt for the pain it caused her, and his gaze lowers as she speaks, unfocused. He's the one that first told her that they needed to work together.

Maybe there's a way for one to temper the other, for them to balance each other. But he refuses to lose any part of himself in order to achieve that balance, even as he still demands his broodmates to do better.

Off to the side he can feel Ren's mind churning, a thread of pulsing red infection. Gets his own jaw tightening as he closes off his mind, and then it feels like it's too late to call Ilde back even if he had something worth saying. An apology isn't going to hack it, and compromise is still nowhere in sight. ]

[ when steve wanders up, sam offers the cigarette pack and lighter to him, happy to share. they all need a smoke or a stiff drink about now.

but once Ilde starts speaking, he's silent along with the others for a long moment after, watching a blank space on the roof pavement and rolling it over in his head. it's certainly a surprise to hear such assertiveness coming from Ilde, but she isn't shy about her opinions. maybe just in pushing them at her brothers. ]

She's right. [ sam speaks, after that long moment, when Ilde's disappeared down the stairs. he feels Ren's fury building and Steve's stubborn will steeling. Ren was too angry, Steve was too unforgiving, Sam was too rash, Ilde was too passive. All of them played a hand in it. ]

I know there was good reason, and that's not invalidated, but it's not the only thing on the table either. [ Ren was right to grieve, wrong to spin out so chaotically. All of them were right and wrong in ways, and it came out in disaster. ] We lost one, and we couldn't have seen that coming, but we almost lost another all on our own.

Could've lost all of us, even, if things went worse. Maybe the three of us, leaving her alone with just the void of us missing. [ like this sharp, burning ache where Anakin used to be, the cold distance where Jessica is. That, multiplied by five, on one little girl that's already twisted and wounded by loss. ] Do any of you really wanna be that one person left behind?

[open] isn't that awful

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