station72 | mental link, day...36? sure.

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mental link, day...36? sure.

[ Technically, it came up a few days ago, but Sam's been letting something bounce around in his head to see if the possibility gets less troublesome after he sleeps on it. And sleeps on it a couple more times.

~~or he's just saying it late so the newbies can hear it too, w/e~~

It's not getting any less freaky. So, out of left field: ]

( So if aliens can hack our emotions, do we...actually know they can't mess with everything else? Memories? Are we actually who we think we are?

What if there is no spoon? )

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( But is it your own headache, or is it the one I've been getting thinking about this for the past week?

Wait. Is that one even my headache? )

( If it's yours, brother, we are definitely going to start working on how to keep what's in your head to yourself.

I don't even wanna think about how we'd try to trace who it started with. )

( I've been trying not to think so loud? But I kinda suck at it. )

[ ...oh. ]

( Do you wanna work on it? I spent a while back home learning how to keep what was going on in my head from overwhelming everything else, and helping other people figure it out, too. It translates pretty easy to all of this. )

( Angel showed me once, and it made sense, but I think I'm still doing something wrong and I...can't really ask her right now. )

[ Comas and all that. ]

( So, sure. Maybe I'll be better at your way. )

( Hard to get the hang of something after just once.

Can't hurt to try, right? Helped me, and a lot of people I know. You feel up to hearing a little more about it, or you wanna wait until you've had some time to decide if you're Neo or not? )

( It sounds like a better thing to think about than having an existential crisis. Fire away. )

[ And he's just gonna go ahead and focus on their mental link here, sending this to just Sam. It doesn't feel right not being honest about the kind of skills he's using, but that doesn't mean he wants to broadcast it to the whole Nest. ]

( Fair warning here, this is all stuff I picked up at the VA learning how to deal with my PTSD and helping other people figure out how to deal with theirs. Some of it might sound a little... fluffy, but hell, it works.

I got some tricks to regulate your emotions, some to let go of your thoughts before they start going everywhere, and a trick to use visualization to strengthen your walls so very little gets out or in. I'm guessing maybe start with that last one. )

( I'll give even fluffy a try once. )

[ He might eyeroll a lot, but hey, he eyerolled at chess club and look at him now. ]

( Good enough. Now, here's the part where normally I'd have to explain it to you, probably a couple of times because it's a hell of a thing to try to pin down, but fortunately we got a more hands on way. )

[ Opening up to the mental link a little more is easy with a broodmate. Too easy, really, but Sam doesn't wanna go into that line of thinking right now. It's not a bad demonstration, though, and he lets the jumbled up string of thoughts and emotions around that out - Sam worked hard to be able to share what he wanted to share when he wanted to share it, a feeling of unease that it's so easy for that to be taken away, flashes of this is mine and ain't no one wants to see it anyway.

It's probably more open than he's been since his first few days here, but it's brief. Mostly he just wants Sam to be able to get a feel for how he stops it. He goes slow, visualizing a cloud layer as seen from up above. It's an almost effortless image to pull up, when he's got memories to draw on, when he can vividly picture the exact shade of orangey gold of the sun reflecting off of them, fading into soft pinks as it sets. One by one the thoughts and emotions disappear below it, until they're blocked completely and all that's left are the clouds, accompanied by a distance sense of the weightless feeling that comes with flight. ]

( Works best if you pick something that makes sense for you. )

[ The images are a lot better than any verbal explanation could be, not least because the sky is already familiar territory. And between that, and the way Angel had likened tuning everyone else out to a sky full of stars...

He's starting to think he can piece something together out of the two. Something that's a little more...him. ]

( Gotta say, you picked a pretty good way to do it. )

[ God, he's sick of being stuck on the ground. Can they get off this planet yet. ]

( Hell yeah. Not a lot better than flying, you know? )

[ And it's because he gets the feeling that Sam does know that he adds,] ( First chance we get, man, you and me are gonna go flying. Been a while since I had someone who could probably keep up. )

[ If he puts a little emphasis on 'probably,' well, he can't resist joking around a little. ]

( Excuse you, they don't call me the Human Rocket for nothing. )

( The Human Rocket, really? That's the name you're sticking with? )

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It's probably mine... sorry.

[ His voice chimes in timidly. Maybe the string of headaches the new hosts are feeling aren't because of him, but it's something their superiors had been concerned about since before their mission on Concordia. If it is his fault, he won't forgive himself for causing the Nest more pain. ]

I've been trying to ration the medicine Cathaway gave me, but if it's bothering everyone I can... up the dosage a little.

( If it is, then man, echoing what I said to Sam with a side of damn. You okay? )

[ He's guessing it's something serious if Cathaway had to give him something for it, and he knows messing with dosing isn't usually a great idea. ]

[ At least one of them knows. Aoba isn't great with managing his dosage, though he's trying to be better about rationing the remaining pills. This mission has gone on longer than the last one, but if it's better for the Nest, he can take a few more and see about finding a replacement for the future. ]

Yeah, I'm fine. My headaches are just uh... a thing that happens. Cathaway was able to make a replacement for my usual medication, but sometimes they overpower it, and I can't always keep it off the network.

( An injury, or something like migraines? Cause I can probably help with that. )

[ Despite the fact that two seconds ago he was just complaining about his own headache, and helping will only make it worse. If he wants to figure out how to control his symbiote ability, he's gonna have to use it. ]

Um... a little of both, actually? It's a long story, and I don't want to bother you with my medical history.

[ Apparently his headaches are bothersome enough. Back in his room, Aoba takes the bottle Cathaway left him with and opens it to count the small clear pills remaining. ]

Thank you, but it's alright, I don't mind taking a few more pills daily. I can try to find a replacement here too.

[ Though his tone remains pleasant, that doesn't inspire confidence. Nothing at home worked until his grandmother concocted something entirely new for him. Nothing worked on the station until Cathaway replicated it. Maybe this new host can help, but Aoba remains stubborn. ]

( I was pararescue, and I'm still a paramedic. Probably wouldn't find it as boring as you think. )

[ But he's not gonna push, even if part of him is curious to see how his ability might handle something that isn't a recent injury or fatigue from not sleeping. And it doesn't mean he isn't still a little concerned. ]

( Just be careful when it comes to messing around with the dose or mixing it with other things, all right? )

Oh... okay. Why?

[ Asks the guy who has literally swallowed unknown handfuls of pills at a time and has never experienced any drawbacks or negative side effects from doing this whatsoever. ]

[ ...oh that's a scary question to get in response to that. A little bit more concern bleeds through the mental link. ]

( There's a reason for the dose, and it's usually because going over it can cause a lot of nasty side effects and be real dangerous. Same thing for mixing it with other drugs, the ingredients in them tend to react together in not great ways. )

Oooh... really?

[ This isn't really the first time he's heard this, but it's been a long enough time and... well, he's gotten so used to abusing his dosage, he's forgotten. Granny's not around to nag him anymore. ]

Well, I haven't mixed my headache medication with anything else, but... I have taken, uh... a lot before. I've never had anything bad happen, though. Except for running out.

[ Granny had given him something she said was stronger right before he was brought to the Nest. He went through an entire bottle of it's replication - a month's supply - before their shorter first mission was over. ]

[ Yeah, that's even less encouraging. ]

( Doesn't mean it won't happen. )

[ Or that there haven't already been some kind of side effects building up, but Sam doesn't want to imply that. For all he knows, these pills could actually be some kind of magic. ...or fake. But still. ]

( You sure you don't want me to at least take a look? You'd be doing me a favor, I'm trying to figure out how my symbiote ability works. )

[ The frequency of his aching mind hums in and out as he considers. He'd been to so many doctors before, and none of them found anything wrong. Cathaway is supposed to run a few tests on the station to try and find what they couldn't, but at the rate this mission is going that could take several more months. And if it's mutually beneficial for Sam... ]

Well... okay, yes. I did just take some more medicine, but... I'll come to you when I get another headache instead. Would that be alright?

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