mental link

[circumspector]

[ someone's up and awake again. Not so tired sounding, though. This time, she's remembered to go and eat before she reaches out to the rest of the hive. ]

( Is anyone in the Bearings that can give me an update on what I've... missed? As much detail as possible.

If it were safer, I might suggest we start keeping more accessible records for these... interludes. )

[ She's not fond of this not knowing everything all the time ever. Which on the note of: she sighs, little echoing tumbling thought that is edged with frustration. ]

( And... does anyone what kind of tricks lions should do? Are they meant to be predators? Are they meant to be tamed?

.... Actually, does anyone know what a lion is? I'm starting to realise I don't know very much about animals if they aren't trying to eat you. Which isn't particularly useful, right now. )

[ ... and for anyone looking for Angel, she will be with a strew of mechanical parts around her that is half in her room, half in the corridor for her shiny new, tackely bright gold performing robotic lion. ]

Comments

[circumspector]

[ She laughs, shakes her head - it's easy and comfortable. ] No, I'm still working on remembering to eat. So maybe I can get picky about food after that.

[ She sobers though, nodding - understanding. Always understanding. ]

It's hard, isn't it? When you're used to worrying over every little thing. Where I came from - all I did was watch, relay, I never... got to turn off. Sometimes, now, I know I should be asleep, or doing something else, but I can't help it. I just... worry. I wish I could say being here made it less but... [ she shakes her head, fretting, always. Over Petre, Aoba, the only ones of her brood left. Over Steve and Sam, the things that they never seemed to know, and how she worried their goodness would lead them into traps from... well, people like her, really. ] ... It just goes over and over again like a really annoying song. [ pulls something quiet in her, old ache. She frets, she always frets. Worse, when she couldn't look on Pandora. When Jack shut her off and she - was left blind, deaf and mute. ]

This will help with that too. [ She offers her hands out in front of herself, for him to take if he wanted. ] You'll need to let your mind be near my mind. But I promise, there shouldn't be anything too untoward. I'm not going to pry if you won't.

[shiro2hero]

You forget to eat?

[Of course, that's only going to garner more concern. Like he said -- hard wired that way anymore. Sometimes, he wondered if that wasn't true of some of the crew. But the way she says it... it sounds different than just being too busy to remember.]

[She goes on, and it sounds more and more like he was right. This is something he has no experience with. Someone who doesn't forget because of a new project, or duty calling -- Pidge and Allura flashing tired faces in his mind -- this is totally different.]

[The concern is the same, though.] It's harder not to worry, when you're in everyone's heads.

[He tries for reassuring:] At least, I'm already used to not sleeping. [Slowly, his hand -- flesh and blood, not metal and tech -- reaches to one of hers. Lightly.]

I believe you. I won't pry -- not sure I even know how to. But, I... have to warn you.

I've... been getting memory flashes lately. Worse since I've been here. And I can't stop it, if that happens.

[circumspector]

Kind of a long story - [ and she laughs it off, waving it away. It is what she is, she's accepted it. A small price to pay, and not the worst one she's had to deal with so far. ]

That's okay. [ As his hand settles in hers, she curls her fingers around and - sighs, softly. Calmly - she maps. Maps him, draws this part of him she is coming to know as they talk. Like it's a file and she is madly taking notes. She doesn't have to present those thoughts and notes anymore, no, but she finds herself still doing it. He, Shiro, he who worries, so he says, who has the slaughter rings in his mind. Doesn't seem to like that mouthful of blood like people she knows do. That likes the feel of rain, or at least of relief that comes with it. His hand is - solid in her own. Her thumb sweeps across the back of his hand, up over the bumps and valleys of knuckles. Easy to do, as ever, she is sensitive to touch in a way that tingles pleasantly to the closeness that contact brings to the mental link. She has no scars, no marring upon her body. Gentle, and she uses to know his hand in hers. ]

Are you ready?

[shiro2hero]

Aren't they all?

[Aren't all their stories long? And complicated. Nothing is simple. As much as they wish it was.]

[He's not sure what this is going to entail. Or what she's doing, stroking his hand like that. It isn't unpleasant. And it's helping ease the nerves at trying to link himself into someone's mind. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to go purposefully rooting around, he trusts that. Occasionally flexing his fingers a little, a few small, old scars along his knuckles catching on her fingertips.]

Yeah. Ready as I'll ever be.

[circumspector]

[ She nods, just the once and changes herself then - a authorative tone, but not forceful. Merely controlled, sure of what she's saying. Comfortable, no sudden movements to be skittish about. Knows, even as much now glories in her freedom, that when you're scared of the things you can't help, that someone just taking even a little bit of that responsibility...

... It's a relief, she remembers. ( Once upon a time, Jack hadn't been the worst father to exist. ) ]

Alright, I'll show you how to quiet everyone first. You'll just have to follow my lead, okay, I'll control it for the both of us the first time.

[ She lets him in, through the connection that's deeper for their holding hands. Skin to skin, and hopes its enough to settle him, like a door she opens to the lightness of her own mind the other side. Her mind is not a tumble - but it is full. A thousand things speak in it, beyond the hive, from the lion at her side, to the connection she absently keeps to network. Churning through her and out again, she's a river of information that churns. But: everyone and everything is managed and carefully arranged. Everything has a place, everything is kept neat. The only part that isn't is the thud of something she cannot control, the purple strange statues and lights under proverbial foot. Old and aching somewhere deep that she cannot quite keep out.

But still, even so, she does her best to keep it - to the walls, even as old statues seem to peer in from all sides. Watching, watching, watching, old, old, old. But this imposed order, for her, it's the difference between sanity and losing herself.

Lets him in, softly spoken, echoing oddly off the walls, the thought comes across. ]

( Okay so far? )