station72 | mental link

[ someone's up and awake again. Not so tired sounding, though. This time, she's remembered to go and eat before she reaches out to the rest of the hive. ]

( Is anyone in the Bearings that can give me an update on what I've... missed? As much detail as possible.

If it were safer, I might suggest we start keeping more accessible records for these... interludes. )

[ She's not fond of this not knowing everything all the time ever. Which on the note of: she sighs, little echoing tumbling thought that is edged with frustration. ]

( And... does anyone what kind of tricks lions should do? Are they meant to be predators? Are they meant to be tamed?

.... Actually, does anyone know what a lion is? I'm starting to realise I don't know very much about animals if they aren't trying to eat you. Which isn't particularly useful, right now. )

[ ... and for anyone looking for Angel, she will be with a strew of mechanical parts around her that is half in her room, half in the corridor for her shiny new, tackely bright gold performing robotic lion. ]

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[ Like any drug addict, she knows, there's nothing like the first time. There's nothing like that first high. Where her whole body had been thundering with its own power. But she's been good, she's been so good. She does not think about ( only every other moment ), she sits at the foot of her bed and says her prayers to Cathaway and Prince with clasped hands, she kisses Ilde and holds Ahsoka's hand and tells herself how good it is all. She ticks off her check-list every day to remind herself that she doesn't need it, not even when she feels shockingly inadequate.

She feels like she could lose time to this, the thin high gasping in her throat as Ahsoka works. Somewhere between telling her to hurry up, she can't take much more of this, terrified, terrified of herself - because what she really wants is to keep her there. As long as she can. Forget everything again, forget how hard breathing, walking, moving is because she had stopped caring about it.

Takes more courage than she ever expected, when she does let go - promised, she tells herself, she's going to keep her promises now, she's going to be better, now. Wants to cry and sob and beg her like she begged Jack not to go but, she does.

Pulls away, and when she comes back to herself. God, she's heavy - she's so, so heavy and so - so empty, and she isn't sure her legs are going to walk and she thought she was past her mornings like this. Cold sweat on her neck, the palms of her hands, thin, quick breaths she tries to even before she speaks. ]

Did you find it? [ opens her eyes, and oh she misses her, she's right across from her, hand on hers and she's so very, very far away. Asks like she doesn't know when she knows exactly because Ahsoka had settled so inside of her, moved through her own abilities and -

- it doesn't matter, she was here to help Ahsoka, that was all. She is better than she, she does not need this. ]

[Its impossible for Ahsoka not to feel Angel's panic, though she does a rather respectable job of keeping the emotion from bleeding into both of them while Ahsoka work. But she's aware, and she moves as swift as she can manage using another's body and mind. She feels Angel withdraw, and its something sticky -- not painful, just vaguely uncomfortable.

And when she's gone, she's not really gone. Ahsoka blinks back into herself, grips Angel's hand a little tighter when the heavy feeling settles in her own bones for just a moment -- not because she fears falling, but because she knows Angel's words are just that, something to fill the emptiness. There had been no way to predict how a non-Force sensitive person would react to suddenly being aware of its presence, but she had a feeling that it wasn't going to be simple, even for someone who seemed to have similar sense.

It had been there since she was born, since she was but a girl. Maybe there was potential for her to get used to it -- but she's not interested in finding out.]

Are you alright?

[She ignores Angel's question.]

[ She so clearly isn't, shaking and sweating and rolling something worse than all of that. The colour drained from her face. Lips thin and bloodless, the taken too quick deep breaths. ]

Can you get me some water?

[ Closes her eyes, trying to drawn herself back down, in, out, where was her collar? Cathaway had said she would need to learn how to manage this herself. Her body surging like she still had eridium, when she didn't, she was going to burn herself out right now. Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate. ( Angel! You listen to me - ) ]

[She doesn't even blink, raises her hand with the intent to call the nearest bottle of water with the Force before she remembers the situation. The Force drained the symbiote embedded in her skull (and strained the rest of the Nest), and given that Angel was still reeling from their encounter, it felt disrespectful.

So instead, Ahsoka gives a confident nod, and gently sets Angel down on the floor so she can retrieve what had been asked for.

When she comes back, she looks a little guilty. Her tone is full of apology as she untwists the cap of the bottle before extending it to her.]

I'm sorry, Angel. I should not have allowed that.

[ She shakes her head, taking the water. ]

It's not on you to know about these things. [ she knew, but more than anything, she doesn't want to let it affect her. Most of the time, it doesn't. Most of the time, she's better than that. She's all outward motion that doesn't slow down for much if she can help it.

Rather she drops her eyes to the water bottle, bringing it to her lips. One moment wasted to the inhale of the fresh clear taste of it - water does not have a smell, exactly, there is chemicals in it, the compounds that make up water itself, but there's a clearness to it. Blank, clean. She needs that then. ] I'll be fine. Honestly.

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I'm sorry this is so late, cries

gnaws on