mental link, v important questions;

[narcissithstic]

(Tell me, have any of you spoken to Cathaway within the last two months.)

[The newer Hosts are the most likely suspects, but perhaps through the link—

Perhaps he feels nothing not because of distance, but because she's chosen to keep him locked out. The possibility is a nagging itch at the base of his skull; he'd rather know for certain.]

Comments

[narcissithstic]

( Unlike you. )

[Jealousy, contempt, bitterness or pride— even Ren isn't certain what mix of emotion he feels at hearing her reiterate that singular, vulnerable truth.

He'd never known a life without the Supreme Leader in his head, guiding his hand; he doesn't know what to make of a life without him now - or without Cathaway acting as a surrogate.

Still, whatever it comes to, he'll see it through.]

( I was never drawn to the dark side; it was always with me. Shielding me from the light. )

[sensitively]

( You were always of the light, as well. ) [ His family was, at least, and therefore he had to have been by proxy, even if it were only when he was much younger.

And then she takes hold of his thoughts, much like he's just done to her; it's not a memory, certainly not one of his that she could pull up, but an imagined scenario she conjures up that she thinks must have happened at some point in his youth. That pilot's chair, of the Millenium Falcon? You remember that, don't you, Ren — the cloth of the seats, the smell of transparisteel and engine oil and bits of wookie sheddings; the throttle under his fingers, the yoke in both palms. The central display monitor showing navigational star charts, tiny holographic worlds spinning and dancing like jewels, while underneath it, Han — dark-haired this time, she imagines, face smooth and smirk half a galaxy wide — and a little boy with hair the color of obsidian and curling up at the ends, on his knee. Little stubby fingers reaching out with delight, at the projections of planets and stars.

Even though it's not her memory — perhaps not his, either, as it's just a guess she hazards — it aches, all the same. He'd offered for me to be part of his crew. ]

( Shielding you from something like this? )