young woman shouts at cloud. [closed]

[snaphiss]

CHARACTERS: MJ snaphiss & JM wrackful.
WHERE: Bearings.
WHEN: 4am of d41.
SUMMARY: Elnath continues its campaign for 'best personality'.
WARNINGS: hurt feelings.

Mara Jade is exhausted.

She's suffered worse, of course. She's made it longer without sleep. She's survived worse conditions, and much longer. She refuses to let this break her.

But that doesn't mean it isn't a strain; while she hasn't overextended herself, she's getting close. Being part of two major operations, and having a keen-- borderline obsessive-- eye for detail and pre-planning, will do that to you. She's checked and rechecked the plans, scouted the locations in advance, made sure to check the personnel rosters, get floorplans...

Now, she needs to rest. But rest doesn't come, only nervous habits and anxiety. What if she never gets out of here? What if this pathetic dead end is the rest of her life? Will she eventually be hollowed out like that horrible Cathaway woman, to become an empty vessel for someone else's desires? She thinks of Joruus C'Baoth, a man she usually tries to erase from her thoughts completely. Did she escape him just to replace him with another master?

Mara refuses to let that thought settle in. She finds a quiet place in the bearings, where the open window lets the moon shine in. The city is beautiful by night.

No one is awake at this hour, or if they are, they're out enjoying the nightlife. It's safe to meditate in the living room, bathed in the comforting darkness.

Comments

[snaphiss]

[Anger on others' behalf is an unusual thing; no one's ever been angry for her sake. When Mara is angry for others, it's because they've suffered an injustice, something fundamental has failed them, tripped them up, knocked them down. Is that- The realization dawns on her like a sunburst. He thinks what was done to her was wrong. She wants to explain-- he hurt her, lied to her, but that was him. He wasn't what he seemed. But it wasn't all... what? Her beginnings don't have endings. The thoughts start, arguments spinning in the air only to fall, pointless before they even reach her lips.]

[It never occurred to her that she could be more than the Emperor's Hand.]

I will be. [She sits up a little straighter, shoulders a little more steady. Her eyes are cool, but not, for once, with judgement or loathing. This is an idea she can keep, can use. A new hope to bolster her for the future.]

[He's saved her. She wonders if he knows it.]

What about you? What will you do now?

[wrackful]

[She's probably talking about further than the immediate, same as for her, but it's been enough already treading through her memories, digging up his own past. He doesn't have an answer past the same goals as her: find a way out of this, get back home. Survive. And that always tended to come day by day.

His mouth tugs down at the corners, hands shoving back into his pockets as he pushes away from the counter.]

Well, I was going to sleep, but your bedtime stories suck. No offence.

[He's still angry, and still tired. Maybe he'll need to find a fight, or maybe just a walk would be enough for the latter to overcome the former. Either way, he's moving to head back out of the Bearings.]