day 42

[headinjuries]

WHO: miniSam and whoever drops in
WHERE: The Bearings
WHEN: Day 42, mid-day
SUMMARY: Watching the news. Trashtalking Ngozi. Chess.
WARNINGS: None yet?



[ So here's a familiar sight: Sam Alexander watching the news, stretched out on the floor in front of the screen that he is only ever going to think of as a TV no matter what you want to call it, thank you very much. There's a chessboard in front of him, a can of a soda by his elbow, and an expression on his face that hovers somewhere between "unimpressed" and "disgusted," because guess who's being interviewed? ]

"Don't think that because we're investigating subspace right now that we aren't looking into other options as well -"

[ Sam snorts derisively as he mutes the sound, because he's really not in the mood. ]

Yeah, sure you are.

[ Back to that chess game. Or, on closer inspection, maybe it's not quite chess; it's something played on the same board of sixty-four squares, but the pieces are oddly shaped and there are a few extras sitting discarded to the side with the captured pieces, because he just picked out whatever game looked the closest and ignored the rules it came with.

It really figures that Ilde offered to play with him, and when he finally found a board...she's in a coma.

Because hey, it's not like enough was going badly already, right? He should've expected.

So instead he's playing against himself, turning the board around after each move, frowning thoughtfully as he moves a - well, he's decided it's a knight, whatever that piece is really supposed to be - and stopping, not letting go of the piece and committing to the move just yet.

Yes, lil' biscuit can do thoughtful.

Who knew? ]

Comments

[headinjuries]

So, I can play with fire, or I can go through life in a constant state of needing to hurl.

[ What a great choice. ]

I dunno how much to trust it, but if I don't get it under control I'm gonna go crazy.

[batmotif]

[Sam definitely got stuck with one of the more inconvenient powers, there's no way around that.]

There's a difference between controlling them and indulging yourself in them. [He pauses, a hesitation.] We've asked you to utilize your powers a lot lately; that probably hasn't made it any easier.

[Is that a smallest admission of guilt? It may just be.]

[headinjuries]

...they're useful. Of course you did.

[ Which is his way of excusing the admission of guilt; even if it's not great to use them, it's gotten them leads they might not have been able to get, otherwise, and if that's what it takes for them to stop the bombings and get off this rock, he doesn't really blame anyone for wanting to take advantage of it.

(Stopping the bombings, not the plight of technological developments, is more his concern here. It's more straightforward.) ]

[batmotif]

[No one gets to excuse his admission of guilt, at least not successfully. He holds onto that kind of thing so tightly that it's practically become a part of his personality.]

Just because something is useful doesn't mean you need to over rely on it. There has to be a limit; we should have been more creative.

[headinjuries]

Yeah, well if we start on stuff we should've done we're gonna be here all night, and I dunno if I've got that many games in me.

[ Punctuated by sliding one of his knights forward. ]

[batmotif]

No point in shrugging it off when we can do better the next time.

[Bruce moves one of his own pieces forward as soon as Sam finishes. He had already been considering what moves to make while Sam had been thinking.]

[headinjuries]

[ He stares at that move with an expression like he just bit into a lemon. God, Bruce, can't you just beat around the bush like a normal person? ]

So we do better next time. Without the self-flagellation to get us there.

[batmotif]

[No, he really can't.]

That's all well and good, but you don't just get "better" by hoping it goes more smoothly the next time around.

[headinjuries]

Dude. Not wallowing in it doesn't mean that you're not doing something about it instead of just hoping.

[ A moment, before he moves his own piece. ]

It just means you're thinking about next time instead of the one you can't change.

[batmotif]

It's not that easy, Sam.

[For him, should be the sentiment that he leaves hanging there, perhaps echoed more clearly in their shared link if Bruce allowed it. He looks down at the piece Sam had moved, brow knitting.]

The mistakes we've made in the past define how we react to the future. I'm not going to sit idly by and wallow in it, but I'm also not going to pretend to be okay with how much this whole mission has relied on your abilities, at the risk of your own health.

[He means more than just nausea, of course. He means whatever unforeseen consequences comes from using the symbiote unquestioningly.]

[headinjuries]

[ Pretending to be okay.

Ha.

There's a phrase Sam likes to avoid if there was ever one. Because if he gives it enough thought to acknowledge when he's pretending, there's usually just...too much to deal with and people are relying on him to be okay, whether as the only functional male in his house or as the superhero standing between them and whatever.

And it's far more obvious where his thoughts are going than Bruce's - just skating on the edge of stuff falling apart and then pulling back hard before they can start circling the drain.

He can't deny that there's a point there, though. ]

What do you think happens. If we use it too much, I mean.