sometime after day 5

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ Sam’s never really reached out to the Nest in general like this before, but at this point - well, he’s running out of options. The work he’s done on his mental walls has paid off, and nothing escapes his thick cloud layer except his words, and the soft hint of wind and feathers that flavors his mental link. ]

( Seems like we got a bit of down time, and I’m looking to put it to good use. I’m getting better with my symbiote ability, but I need someone who’ll let me practice it with them.

Simple explanation is that it’s healing, with a side effect that means it’s gonna hurt. Most likely for me. I can get into specifics if you’re up for it. ) [ If it doesn’t bother them or they’re willing to overlook that it means Sam getting hurt, he means, but seeing as he’s communicating with the Nest in general, he’s not gonna say that.

He already knows more than who person who is bothered by it and never seems willing to let Sam use it on them. ]

( I’ll take as many as I can get, more training can’t hurt. )

Comments

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ That answers the question that Sam'd been about to ask next: was it worth it. It's a loaded one, and he's tempted to ask it anyway, but Bellamy'd already said it was a waste of time. And he's moving on, eagerly latching onto how the interrogation had gone, and Sam can't hold back the trickle of amusement at that sudden curiosity. ]

( Yeah, okay, if you want. )

[ The amusement fades as Sam pulls up the memory. He skims past the break in and himself taking out the guard, because it'd been barely a blip and ultimately unimportant. It wasn't an issue getting to Locke, the issue was getting anything out of him. The memory is clear but detached at first, Sam himself acting as intimidation as the younger Sam reports on the truthfulness of Loke's answers and Aoba gets ready to dive into the man's mind. After that is quickly when it starts to go wrong, when they start to question him more specifically about the mysterious man who provided Loke with what he needed and Loke starts bleeding from his nose, eyes, and ears.

Here some emotion starts to color the memory: Sam's desperation as he tries to keep Loke alive, first in general and then just long enough for Aoba to get out of his head, the difficulty in fighting his symbiote ability and trying to push it past its limits. Though Aoba gets out, they can't save Loke, and then it's a mad dash to get out of there as alarms go off.

He doesn't say anything when the memory ends; it's his turn to let Bellamy draw his own conclusions. Sam hasn't talked much about this, aside from the details important to pass on, and now he's reminded of why. ]

[deployed]

[ Deflecting still feels important. What few secrets Bellamy can manage in this arrangement need to be protected, and until they know more about these things in their head it's for the best to keep what he and Murphy had done to themselves as much as they could.

It isn't as if telling Lexa had gone so well.

But Sam's projection of memory shows Bellamy something different. Is that how ALIE's victims would have died? He remembers how she's ordered Ontari killed. It had been physical. Jaha had been her tool for it; ALIE hadn't been able to do it herself from the inside. Bellamy considers the gruesome picture quietly for a long moment before he responds. ]

( It's not what I expected. ) [ Is all he eventually manages to come up with. ]

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ It's a feeling that Sam can relate to. For all his general since of honesty and openness, there are many things that Sam keeps secret, as best as he can. Always has been, and the connection he shares with everyone here doesn't negate that. It just makes his desire to respect privacy more important.

He waits just as quietly as Bellamy processes that. Sam's not exactly sure what he thinks about it, either - whether Loke committed suicide rather than be forced to give more information or whether this Enemy that they're all fighting killed him before he could. ]

( It's not what I expected, either. ) [ There's a pause, as though Sam's considering just leaving it at that, but then makes the decision to let himself be a little more forthcoming, a little more vulnerable. ] ( I couldn't stop it, man, you get why I need to be able to control what I can do better? )