sad space dad had a bad (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shiro2hero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
station722017-03-12 08:32 pm
shiro2hero) wrote in station722017-03-12 08:32 pm
TRAINING MONTAGE
CHARACTERS: Shiro & Virtually Everyone
WHEN: Day 11 - 13 (ish)
WHERE: Training area
SUMMARY: Taming the savage brain symbiote.
WARNINGS: violence, probably some kind of triggering nonsense, will update this as needed
((ooc notes: Okay, so just to keep everything neat and tidy, the actual prompts and everything will be in comments below. Day 11 is going to be closed to Brood Members [Gacrux the hot mess], Day 12 is recovery day (if anyone wants in on that), and Day 13 is the free-for-all.))
WHEN: Day 11 - 13 (ish)
WHERE: Training area
SUMMARY: Taming the savage brain symbiote.
WARNINGS: violence, probably some kind of triggering nonsense, will update this as needed
((ooc notes: Okay, so just to keep everything neat and tidy, the actual prompts and everything will be in comments below. Day 11 is going to be closed to Brood Members [Gacrux the hot mess], Day 12 is recovery day (if anyone wants in on that), and Day 13 is the free-for-all.))
no subject
They're in this together. No matter what the people running the station have decided.
"Did you leave anything behind, or do we need a vacuum cleaner to pick up the pieces?" he asks, and it comes out more lighthearted sounding than intended. Even if underneath it, there's concern. For both of them.
"You want to talk about it?"
no subject
"He just... I don't know. I got angry at him because he said you'd said you weren't as important or your life was worth less than some other people's on the station. And he was trying to tell me what I should do or -- I don't know. That I shouldn't be in the same room when you were working on your power. I felt like he was calling you... fragile."
It's hard to describe all of it, but the memories swirl out of her head. It's a bit confused, punctuated by spikes of anger and frustration.
"I didn't really stop to think about how he felt."
no subject
"I told him I'd talk to you about that..." He really should have. Because she's not going to like the confirmation he's going to give her. Difference being, he's got a bit more information here than Sam did. "I agreed with him about that. Either outside or using your invisibility. Because I wasn't sure how I'd react when it went off."
If he couldn't see her, she wouldn't be a target. Easy as that. "The rest of it..." Another grimace, with his free hand scrubbing down his face. "Allura. It's... I can't stop thinking about that."
About how it shouldn't have been her. It never, ever should have been her. Pidge knows what he means, he'd told her before. She'd experienced the rescue, and he knows now Allura is safe. Will be safe.
But it hasn't stopped haunting him. He's close enough to Pidge to where he can't quite bury those thoughts. Or the flash of memory as their princess watches him go. Her expression serene and accepting, even as their enemy closed in around her.
It should have been me -- I'm so sorry PidgeKatie I'm sorry. But it shouldn't have been her.
"That's... why I said that. I can't get it out of my head." And he hadn't considered the implications. At all. "So I guess that makes two of us, not thinking how other people feel."
no subject
"Shiro, you can't think that. Do you really think it would've been better if you'd been captured? I mean, we still would've come after you. And we would've rescued you! But - you're not less important than Allura. You're just as important. You - you're family. You're the pilot of the Black Lion. That all matters. You can't - don't-"
Argh.
She doesn't know what to say.
"I know that we're both willing to put our lives on the line for everyone. But... that's... it doesn't make either of us worth less."
no subject
He almost says it makes him more expendable than it does her. But those words stop him in his tracks.
you're family
The same things he's always said about her. Would always say about her. And he can't tell her family is less important. That would be wildly hypocritical of him. And also a lie.
Instead, he just goes back to scrubbing at his face. Like that's going to help.
"See... I know you're right. I don't doubt it for a second." But-- and there's always a but. "Logic doesn't always listen."
I'm so sorry I don't want it to be like this - I don't want to think this - it was better when you didn't know - didn't want to put you in this position.
no subject
"Feelings and emotions can be dumb, but you don't have to handle them all on your own. I'm here. So is everyone else!"
She can hear those thoughts flickering through her head and she pushes back, trying to clear them out of her head. She's not going to let this beat her and she's definitely not going to let it beat him.
"It's OK, Shiro. We all support each other. You don't have to do this by yourself or think that you're worth less."
no subject
Hopefully, she can get that sense from him. That he's grateful she's here. And he doesn't want anything more than just her. Being who she is. And, hopefully, those are more welcome sensations than the last batch.
"... I'd make a leg to stand on joke, for that, but you're an arm."
Thank you -- drifts through every word. Every flat bit of dry humor. It's not her job to fix this, and he could never, would never, put that on her shoulders. The reminder is, for now, enough. And one he needs to never forget.
Then the arm draped over her shoulders tugs her over, into a hug.
no subject
Giving up isn't in her.
no subject
"Thank you."
He squeezes her back. Blowing out a long breath.
"I'm going to do better. Keep it all in mind better, all right?"
no subject
"Just... help me remember who we are sometimes, OK?"
This place is getting to her. Sometimes she doesn't know if the emotions are hers or just feedback.
no subject
"As often as you need me to."
It's a promise. Like an oath. The last thing they've got left of home.
"It's a deal."
no subject
She won't forget about home. She won't forget about her brother or her father or Keith or Lance or Hunk or Allura or Coran or any of it. She's going to stay her. She's not going to let herself sink into this mess of thoughts and emotions that aren't even hers. That's a promise (mostly to herself).
no subject
... but on the other side, that means keeping himself here as much as possible. If she's relying on him, then he can't let her down. He can't let himself fall.
"We can do this."