( open. )

[apoptotic]

Who: anakin skywalker + you
Where: the station
When: days 165-166
Summary: man wakes up from bender to find all his problems still there
Warnings: violence well that took no time

I. EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING
SOMETHING SOMETHING FAST AS LIGHTNING.

[ after days spent comatose, anakin sleeps almost half a day. he might have continued sleeping but for a rather brusque awakening. not that he could blame ahsoka. were the roles reversed, he would have been waking her every hour on the hour, and likely earned himself a punch for his efforts.

that's gratitude.

rest is the obvious treatment for his sense of malaise, and anakin does try. considering a few hours later find him in the training hall, the results were about as successful as one would expect.

he was brought down during the time set aside to adjust. almost two weeks were spent aware of nothing while the others singlehandedly pissed off an entire population. he has a lot to catch up on.

his lightsaber remains clipped to his belt, which is the only reason his target(s) live still in one piece. with a sword, with a staff, with anything permitted to him, anakin takes down target after target in a demonstration that is all elegant violence and brash grace. his lungs ache, his muscles burn — but that’s the point. action does not necessitate thought. ]

II. DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A DROID, MAN
YES, IT HAS TO BE A DROID, MAN.

[ though at this point, it resembles nothing. spare parts in a pile on a table in the hangar, through which anakin sorts through for whatever he needs, stripping them out if need be. his fingers move with the ease of experience. the lack of ai is a crass limitation, but he doesn’t need an intelligent droid.

even with an audience, anakin doesn’t look up, too busy completing the first part: an arm, which he tests the articulation of by having it extend and close around his finger. ]

There’s a chair if you plan to keep watch, [ he observes idly. ]

III. THE THIRST OPTION
AKA I HAVE NO EXCUSE.

[ —or he’s seated on the edge of a pool after a swim to cool off, a glove over his mechanical arm, and focused entirely on the surface of the water. he holds his hand, palm out. a stream of water rises, collects into a ball before his hand. his fingers tremble from the exertion, and his brow furrows, and the ball collapses.

the force remains weak. his once instinctive awareness, blunted. anakin swallows thickly.

he’s still more ripped than kylo ren, though. ]

Comments

[apoptotic]

Awake or in general? [ a jape, though one spoken so drily it is easy to miss.

he quirks an eyebrow at her, more an indication of attention, then lowers his eyes again to the task at hand. ]

[erbier]

Awake.

[ The airiness of her answer doesn't make it clear if she caught the joke or not, but it is also easy enough in its tone to not derail things for that. ]

Your apprentice was worried for you, as soon as we came back aboard the ship she was at your side.

[ She's vaguely jealous of the relationship, but in her way she is suspicious of it as well. Being so close to someone could only lead to pain and disaster, she's sure. ]

[apoptotic]

I know. [ a touch of guilt. last thing he wants is to cause her undue worry. the rest of the station can go fuck itself tbqh.

he has not been ahsoka's master for the better part of a year; the council saw to that. yet he continues to feel responsible for her as if he still were. he still believes he is. on some level, she will always be his padawan: aggravating, and beloved. still, they are testing the parameters of their new relationship. each is different; it must be. but his deep affection for her remains, unchallenged and unfading. ]

[erbier]

[ His guilt intrigues her, the well-worn shape of it, the way it sinks deeply into the corner of his eyes. Something a little deeper than she understands, than this one little incident warrants.

She uncrosses her legs, leaning forward slightly, her gaze quiet and thoughtful. ]

She had only the best things to say about your teachings.

[apoptotic]

[ a little scoff, though he does not doubt it. ] That's how you know she was lying.

Hand me the pliers.

[erbier]

[ She glances around for a moment, unfamiliar with tools or electronics, but slowly gathering ways of identifying the vast base of knowledge the Hive and Angel have provided her. She leaves the chair she was sitting in, picking up the pliers and coming to sit closer as she hands them over, peering curiously into the open machine. ]

She told me quite specifically you taught her how to believe in herself.

[ She thought that was interesting, that such a thing was a skill that could be taught... She has never had anyone mentor her or look out for her, her personality simply is what it is, as far as she understands it. ]

Is that an important value to you?

[ There's no judgment in her tone, utterly conversational as if she doesn't realize what a loaded question she's asking. She doesn't, really, she is earnestly curious about such things, and enjoys such conversations on value and philosophy. Just so long as the values of others are not being forced upon her. ]

[apoptotic]

It has nothing to do with me. [ anakin regards her strangely, like she had asked him why he has only one head. ]

If you have no faith in yourself, you can't make decisions. You can't succeed. You'll depend entirely on someone else telling you what to think, how to act. That's not a life.

[ prophecy with the chosen one. ]

[erbier]

[ Really, she ignores his incredulity, contemplating instead the idea he has presented her with. She wonders if she... believes in herself. Trying to feel out that idea is disorienting, like reaching into a dark hole that swallows her arm. Warped by a madman's religion, her sense of self is sometimes difficult to navigate. Death of the ego, separation from her humanity through repeated destruction of basic human inhibitions. ]

What is a Life?

[ As far as she understands it, it's a long torturous crawl towards death. ]

[apoptotic]

[ something he no longer has. ]

That's up to you.

[erbier]

[ And she would say she never really had one, so what are the pair of them supposed to do. ]

So people keep telling me.

[ No rebuke in her voice, just honestly. It's not that she doesn't believe the sentiment... just that maybe she doesn't entirely know what she wants. And maybe is a little afraid to know too. ]

[apoptotic]

Then it's probably time to stop asking others, and ask yourself. Pliers.

[ the command is not to her, but to the droid. obediently, it extends an arm to the pliers anakin laid in front of it. he chuckles dryly. ]

One tool down. Several hundred to go. Release. [ a beat. ] Drop it. [ he sighs, and pulls the tool free himself. ]

If you really want to know — [ attention fixed on a panel — ] ask yourself what you want. What you value. What you hope for. What you'd be willing to die for. You'll get your answer then.

[erbier]

[ She's had a very comfortable life without any ambition. To hope for anything better than what she currently had was the root of all pain. Rather than think about it even now, she murmurs ]

I see, this must be how you taught Ahsoka.

[apoptotic]

I taught Ahsoka by instruction and example. She was my padawan. It fell to me to complete her education. [ fourteen when she first came to him, a scrawny, snippy little thing. how quickly he grew fond of her. how proud. ]

However much you think she learned from me, I learned more from her.

[erbier]

[ Ah... She can feel his fondness, and has felt Ahsoka's for him in kind... An emotion that really can only be jealousy grows a little stronger. How nice it would have been, to have something like that. Someone, anyone, to take her under their wing. She smiles, although she does so thinly, looking away. ]

That seems very special.