( open. )

[apoptotic]

Who: anakin skywalker + you
Where: the station
When: days 165-166
Summary: man wakes up from bender to find all his problems still there
Warnings: violence well that took no time

I. EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING
SOMETHING SOMETHING FAST AS LIGHTNING.

[ after days spent comatose, anakin sleeps almost half a day. he might have continued sleeping but for a rather brusque awakening. not that he could blame ahsoka. were the roles reversed, he would have been waking her every hour on the hour, and likely earned himself a punch for his efforts.

that's gratitude.

rest is the obvious treatment for his sense of malaise, and anakin does try. considering a few hours later find him in the training hall, the results were about as successful as one would expect.

he was brought down during the time set aside to adjust. almost two weeks were spent aware of nothing while the others singlehandedly pissed off an entire population. he has a lot to catch up on.

his lightsaber remains clipped to his belt, which is the only reason his target(s) live still in one piece. with a sword, with a staff, with anything permitted to him, anakin takes down target after target in a demonstration that is all elegant violence and brash grace. his lungs ache, his muscles burn — but that’s the point. action does not necessitate thought. ]

II. DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A DROID, MAN
YES, IT HAS TO BE A DROID, MAN.

[ though at this point, it resembles nothing. spare parts in a pile on a table in the hangar, through which anakin sorts through for whatever he needs, stripping them out if need be. his fingers move with the ease of experience. the lack of ai is a crass limitation, but he doesn’t need an intelligent droid.

even with an audience, anakin doesn’t look up, too busy completing the first part: an arm, which he tests the articulation of by having it extend and close around his finger. ]

There’s a chair if you plan to keep watch, [ he observes idly. ]

III. THE THIRST OPTION
AKA I HAVE NO EXCUSE.

[ —or he’s seated on the edge of a pool after a swim to cool off, a glove over his mechanical arm, and focused entirely on the surface of the water. he holds his hand, palm out. a stream of water rises, collects into a ball before his hand. his fingers tremble from the exertion, and his brow furrows, and the ball collapses.

the force remains weak. his once instinctive awareness, blunted. anakin swallows thickly.

he’s still more ripped than kylo ren, though. ]

Comments

[decommission]

[ His body takes time to adjust one by one with each position. There's a lack of innate grace every first time he moves his limbs into a new stance, stiff motions that betray more than inexperience with this weapon. The rhythm doesn't come naturally to him, and so he's careful under Anakin's direction, takes any correction with only a slight downturn of his mouth or a fleeting spark of frustration through their link. ]

How long've you been training at this? [ Asking his question Steve holds the last position for a moment before shifting out of it again. These circumstances are less desperate, but there's another mission looming somewhere in their future. ]

[apoptotic]

Combat? Since I was nine.

[ the elegant, sweeping walls of the temple. the tall pillars. a lightsaber in hand, not the weapon he made. a practice blade with which to master basic skills. restraint has ever been a difficulty for him, more so in these circumstances with his own mind stitched to others.

these memories, however, are young. drawn in awe and polished over the years. reminders of why he does what he does, why he is what he is. what his order is meant to be. ]

It is a Jedi's duty to protect others, [ he explains. anakin keeps a patient watch, but otherwise lets steve continue on his own. ] We try reasoning, negotiation. But sometimes confrontation is inevitable.

[decommission]

[ The memories wash over him, tension lining his body and causing him to pause. A reaction to the sensation, not the content. He didn't dream all his life to become a soldier. That meant enlisting during peace time, assuming they would take him, and taking orders from one link up the chain for the rest of the time he served. That meant knowing there would be another war.

(but he can't deny that there's something deeply enticing about the images, the purpose behind the training)

He doesn't start again just yet, frowning at Anakin. ]

Ren uses the same weapon. [ It's a wary question. ]

[apoptotic]

Ren is not a Jedi.

[ the open distaste in anakin's voice makes no mistake that kylo ren's very existence is an affront. anakin has known the dark side. fought it for three too long years. anakin looks away, inhales through his nose. ]

The Sith are our enemies, [ he explains, again regaining his composure. but the tension thrums underneath his skin. by chance or design, he has been bound to his enemy. the very idea of it is abhorrent, the constant knowledge galling. ] Ours and every living thing. They care nothing for others, only their own selfish desires. They study the Force, but not as Jedi do. We strive for peace, knowledge. Harmony. We're peacekeepers, [ a mild correction. ] We were never meant to be soldiers. But the Sith brought war to the galaxy.

[ at twenty-two, anakin looks much older. a general at nineteen. lost his first man before the age of twenty. the war aged him in ways deeper than the physical. ]

I've seen a lot of good men and women die in the line of duty. All because of a greedy few. Ren is what's left of them.

[ tl;dr ]

[decommission]

I'm sorry. [ For those that were lost - solid, sincere words, even if he knows they don't mean much. Steve would've pegged Anakin at around at least five years older than his actual age, definitely not younger than himself.

Not meant to be soldiers - he's already seen Ren's handiwork first hand, experienced his anger and the way he rationalizes his destructive actions. On the other hand, peacekeeper can mean different things to different people depending on who's on what side of it, and he doesn't know Anakin or his people well enough to say that he's cut from a completely different cloth than the ones he fights against.

In any case, he's not up to playing Devil's Advocate on Ren's behalf for a war he doesn't have much context for, and action'll always prove more than anything else. ]

What exactly is the Force? [ Something to do with the power Ren used to nearly toss that merchant off the cliff, he figures, that something connected to both men. ]

[apoptotic]

It's an energy field.

[ this is easier to speak of. factual. familiar. anakin releases the staff, but it does not fall. it floats lazily beneath his open hand. ]

It is produced by every living thing. It binds us and the galaxy together. Very few can sense it. It's the Force that grants Jedi our power. We can manipulate it [ as he is in order to turn the staff without touching it, ] and we are guided by it.

[ anakin takes hold of the staff before his still unsteady control slips. ]

[decommission]

[ Miracles. That's what they'd call it back home. ]

Guided by it? [ A high ceiling in a long hall, all dark wood and rows of worn down benches. Cold and intimate, a relative that no longer sees you as you are.

His mother was religious, passed that on to him, but it never took root the way it did for some people. ]

[apoptotic]

[ a little smile. ] If you listen.

[ at times, quiet and loud, frightening and peaceful. frustrating so often and as compliant as a lover's kiss. and ever present. in it: luminous beings, felt despite the oftentimes monumental distances. his master, ever wise and steady. ahsoka, vibrant as a new flame. and a woman blinding as the double suns, set aglow by a sweet presence half hers and half his.

his smile fades. ]

It's…difficult. [ his feet move: not to get anywhere. there is nowhere to get to. ] Trying to understand its mysteries. Jedi Masters will spend their lives in study of the Force. Much eludes us yet.