[ The feedback from her broodmate combined with Misato's attitude are enough to leave her stuck dead in her tracks. There's a loop of shut up hate shut up GO AWAY it's all gone in her head and she doesn't know which one is her and which one is Lavellan and she can't scream at Misato at anymore. There's no sound to make. She just slowly sinks under Lavellan's weight; there's no more strength in her legs. Instead she settles onto the floor, leaning against him like he's a rock in stormy seas.
In a way, he is.
She claps her hand over her good eye and tries not to let tears leak through. She's not going to let Misato see her cry.
She's a lonely child again, staring up at the swinging corpse of her mother.
She's at a funeral, promising she won't cry ever again.
She's in college, beating out kids twice her age.
She's a pilot.
Synch rate: zero.
It all swirls together into a mess and then collapses in on itself again. And finally her mind starts to still, easing back down to that low-level bubble and boil as she takes deep, gulping breaths of air and tries to fight the rage and anger and despair back down.
For some reason, the weight of Lavellan against her back doesn't disgust her. ]
no subject
In a way, he is.
She claps her hand over her good eye and tries not to let tears leak through. She's not going to let Misato see her cry.
She's a lonely child again, staring up at the swinging corpse of her mother.
She's at a funeral, promising she won't cry ever again.
She's in college, beating out kids twice her age.
She's a pilot.
Synch rate: zero.
It all swirls together into a mess and then collapses in on itself again. And finally her mind starts to still, easing back down to that low-level bubble and boil as she takes deep, gulping breaths of air and tries to fight the rage and anger and despair back down.
For some reason, the weight of Lavellan against her back doesn't disgust her. ]