station72 | [hatch log] everything happens so much

[hatch log] everything happens so much

CHARACTERS: New Hosts & EVERYONE
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: DAY :039
SUMMARY: New faces and old losses - a hatch occurs and a number of older hosts go comatose. Coma'd hosts include all auto-piloted dropped characters to date.
WARNINGS: Will update as necessary. Need a warning added? PM this account please!

NEW HATCHES
YOU WAKE UP and suddenly you're a different person. No. That's not right. You're you and there's no suddenly about it. It's been a while, hasn't it? It feels like waking up from a very deep, extended sleep or like surfacing up from the darkness of the ocean and right there in your own head there's something both familiar and strange. You know intuitively that you've been unconscious for more than just a blink of the eye. While it’s impossible to tell exactly how long ago or how exactly you escaped the danger that had been breathing down your neck, you're certain it was more than a moment ago.

But here you are, a small miracle of the multiverse: lying in a small faintly hexagonal chamber, a gentle white light emanating from the surrounding walls. If you were injured during your escape, those injuries have been healed. If you were anxious or frightened or distraught, those feelings have been briefly calmed. There's something strangely peaceful about waking up here. That feeling persists even as you find the tube running from the base of your neck to the compartment's rear wall.

But once the tube's disconnected? Things get loud. A wave of emotion fills that peaceful void - fear, uncertainty, relief, a sense of purpose or loneliness or anxiety. Maybe some of these emotions are yours, but they can't all be. After the initial sensory overload, the mental buzz elongates: stretches out into a murmur like the sound of a party happening behind a closed door.

You can sit up - barely -, and shift out of the pod. There’s a ladder at your feet and a little cubby just before it with anything you brought with you as well as a set of crisp, loose-fitting white clothes; while your injuries are healed, whatever you’re wearing is in the exact state it was before. Maybe it's time for a change? Drop down the ladder to the floor of the Nesting Deck and you’ll find you’re not alone. The closer you are to these stranger, the louder the sound in your head becomes. --Actually they're not quite strangers either, are they? Something is wound about and between you and these people, whoever they are, are as familiar as this place you've never been is.

Welcome to Station 72. The air buzzes with activity. Somewhere deep in the Station, other minds call to yours. They are bright, brilliantly celebratory spots in your subconscious. They are sun-warm gentle, or they are fire and the taste of ash, or they are a vibrant frenetic whirl, or they are a tangled garden, or they are the feeling of flight through dense cirrus clouds. No two links are exactly the same, but you know for certain that you are connected to all of them in at least some small way.

Which is why it's easy to tell when something goes terribly wrong:

OLD HOSTS
THE ENDORPHIN RUSH of making it back to Station 72 (relatively) unharmed, having successfully acquired exactly what you'd set out to get your hands on can't be denied. Even if you're not necessarily the type to celebrate, there's no ignoring the thrumming celebratory sensation from those Hosts who are.

After a few hours of being back in the void, something else stirs in the air: the clear, prickling sensation of new hosts hatching on the Nesting Deck. They're a rush of mental information - as if someone's turned the volume on the radio all the way up -, a cacophony of sensation and emotional feedback for anyone unprepared to shield against it.

The swell of feeling might make it easy to miss what follows immediately after: the dull, gut-deep quiet as The Darkling, Chuuya Nakahara, and Nasu Rei go suddenly comatose.

((OOC Notes: This is the hatch log for all new hosts. Feel free to make your own logs and posts additional to this if you care do. You can find a more detailed overview of the hatching process HERE. You can find additional setting information about the Station HERE If you have any questions, please hit up either the FAQ or MOD CONTACT pages!))

NAVIGATION • SETTING • FAQ • MOD CONTACT • GLOSSARY

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

a: elation (or something like it)

[Elation is not an emotion that someone like Lexa is bound to feel at any given moment, but she's not one to be entirely untouched by the success of their mission. Yes, there were aspects of it that went poorly, but she can't help but be relieved by the fact that they worked together and abandoned the pointless tournament in the process. She had been eager to coach her fellow hosts in the tournament, but she quickly found herself out of her comfort zone. As a host, Lexa often finds herself displaced there, but—

This had been too much.

That they had managed to accomplish something, that she had managed to help, that she had managed to use her training—all of these are good things in her book. Though some of her happiness may be because of the bleed from other hosts, Lexa is in denial of the fact. She's satisfied by what they've accomplished.

But it's why she's having a celebratory drink. The bottle in front of her is something she found stored away on the ship, and while the taste of it might be awful to some, Lexa's upbringing in a post-apocalyptic society hasn't made her the most discerning of individuals. Anyone who might find her at the counter in the dining section of the Nest, with a glass or three extra at her side. They aren't poured yet, but she's quick to meet the eyes of anyone who enters, unblinking in the process.] Care to share? It's customary at times like this.

b: books books books

[One of the most unsettling parts of where they just were was the constant evolution of culture. Lexa knows that she comes from a world where "culture" had been erased and largely swept away, but her people still maintained some aspects of what existed before—and clung to who they were after. Even here, she has been reluctant to give up aspects of herself that could be defined by being a member of her people.

The books she obtained at Waypoint Shiril are nothing special, all things cast aside or left there to easily be forgotten. But she had managed to grab them just the same, and keep a copy or two on her in her escape. Her return to the library is to offer these books over, especially as she has no use for them.

There's something solemn in her demeanor as she acts, but her mind is quick to reach out and recognize anyone who might join her. Greetings may follow. (They will.)]

c: wildcard

[Up for anything else! She trains a lot, reads a lot, and spends a lot of time observing while meditating in the Rec Wing.]

[ Elation is a good word for it. Adrenaline high. Something like it. They won and they got what they wanted (needed) and they didn't lose anyone doing it. No one got killed. That's worth celebrating as far as Pidge is concerned. She has a grin a mile wide on her face, still jittery with energy and almost laughing because she's alive and they made it. Her plan worked. She needs something to eat now and she's carrying a bowl of something she's microwaved when she pots Lexa and detours with a wave. ]

Hey!

[ A drink? She slows slightly as she approaches the table and then simply sets her tray down and sits. ]

Uh. Maybe? I don't - is it alcoholic?

It is. [Coming from a society that isn't against making practical children fight one another to the death means that she isn't opposed to alcohol consumption for people of Katie's age. Approaching that comes with ease.] Though if it's not to your liking, I believe there are some sweeter beverages within the cooling unit.

[Lexa doesn't know where most of the sustenance comes from, beyond the alcohol, which she's fairly certain is just remnants of past Hosts who are, by and large, either gone on missions or comatose like the rest.]

[ Katie is mostly just not interested in being drunk, so she's trying to make sure. ]

Alright, I'll take a look-

[ She keeps talking, even as she goes to go rummage around in the fridge for something that's a bit more to her taste. She settles on something fruit-flavored and comes back to the table. ]

At least no one died this time. And we got what we cam for. Pretty good, right?

We did better in avoiding unnecessary avenues to get there, as well. I believe that made it all much simpler. [She takes another sip of her wine after pushing a glass toward Katie to pour her own drink into, even if it's not the same. It doesn't have to be, though.]

Concordia, even before you arrived, was the very antithesis of simple. I believe that led to some arguments. And when you delivered your information, as well. [Now that they know they can bypass things with their talents, they can continue to be more efficient in the future.

Lexa is ... definitely pleased with that level of efficacy.]

Concordia felt like a mess. It was just... strange and messy and we were trying to do so many things at once.

[ Katie takes a slow sip of her drink and then her expression sours, bits and pieces of conversation filtering through her memory. Ugh. ]

What was that woman's problem, anyway? She just seemed like she wanted someone to yell at.

On the one hand, I find someone such as that frustrating. It's why Mara Jade and I were meant to butt heads. [Yes, she learned from the woman, but with some reluctance. Lexa pauses to think about her loss, and how it might have sent waves through the Nest. It may even be why Ilde is now an even more uncontrollable force, albeit put forth through a shell of a young woman who may seem more amicable than she actually is.]

But on the other hand, if you come from a world where people are meant to fall in line, to listen—it's easy to see where we are not a very cohesive group. I'm used to people listening to me. It seems that she's the same. The only difference is that she has never been taught any sense of ... decorum. Or diplomacy. [This sounds as if Lexa is making excuses for Annie, but in truth, she's actually quite judgmental. But then, Annie isn't like Indra: Lexa has no reason to excuse her blunt and bombastic behavior just because she's fond of the woman. She's willing to do that for those she favors.]

Right. Mara.

[ Pidge pulls a face, but immediately feels a little guilty. Mara Jade is comatose on the Station somewhere and here all Pidge can think about is the rather unpleasant exchanges they shared. She ought to be a better person than that. ]

If she actually had anything to contribute, maybe I'd feel like listening to her. But she sounded like she just wanted to tell us all what we were doing wrong and not actually tell us anything useful!

[ Pidge is just kevetching. There's not any sort of real hatred there. It's not in her nature. ]

She will either learn to adapt or become a voice that's silenced by the rest of us. Given her nature, I'm inclined to believe the latter. But I've been surprised before. [Then again, not all people are as malleable as Bellamy has proven to be to Lexa's whims. Most have been like Mara Jade, and most have stumbled as time has passed.]

It will be up to her to earn our respect.

Yeah. I guess we'll see...

[ Pidge frowns and takes another hit of her drink. Not that it's much of a hit, since she's basically drinking fruit juice. ]

...have you had any more dreams?

[ Weird question. But sorta relevant. ]

[There is a pause, but only as she tries to determine how she should respond to such a question.]

I frequently dream, though I'm not always given the opportunity to recall them.

[Lexa is obviously concealing some uncertainty. Obviously meaning, well, some of it is still seeping through.]

[ There's a touch of uncertainty from Katie as well. It's... weird to think about. She hasn't shared dreams with anyone since that last one, but it's still sort of been on her mind. A distant thought that she hasn't been able to shake. ]

Yeah, I... know what you mean. It's kinda weird.

[ She rubs the back of her head with a frown. ]

Sometimes I wonder how much other people here are influencing them.

I believe the more important question is this: how is it affecting our lives outside of sleep? [Lexa wishes she could recall more of the dream, but there is still a protective surge of interest that is now in place with Katie, whether she likes it or not. It's natural to view someone that her brain has decided is a Nightblood that way, even if it's literally impossible for her to be one.]

I...

[ Katie pauses and frowns. How is it affecting their lives? She doesn't remember much of the dream, true, but she feels a certain tug toward Lexa now. As if she's an old friend or someone who's helped her fight her battles. A fellow paladin, almost. Even if she knows that Lexa was never there in the first place. ]

...I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it, it just feels... off.

I believe I told you before that we can't live in fear of what might come to us. Otherwise, there's a good chance that we'll limit ourselves. [Lexa does not like to live in fear. That's the most important part. She did it for so long, even as a commander, that she refuses to return to that life. It's part of why she had come to accept her death as inevitable no matter the point in her life, and why she had arrangements in place.]

Fear isn't necessary for recognition. In that way, how would you prefer to proceed?

I'm not afraid.

[ Pidge bristles a little. The truth is, she is afraid. She's afraid of losing who she is and losing the love she holds closely to her heart for her father and brother. She's afraid of losing her way and never finding them again. She's afraid of a lot of things. ]

I don't know - I just - I don't mind working with you. Or... being friends. I'm just - I don't know how to deal with all of this weird mind stuff! Sometimes it feels like part of me is slipping away!

[Lexa merely quirks her eyebrows upward at that declaration. There is nothing said, but her calm expression merely says enough: she doesn't believe it. But unlike someone she doesn't know well or feels no fondness toward, she doesn't verbally point it out to be irritating.]

Take ownership over it. We're always forced into positions where we have to question our beliefs and actions. Circumstances are simply more extreme here.

This isn't just my own beliefs or my actions, this is me!

[ It comes boiling out - all of her frustration and fear over losing her identity. ]

If my whole self changes, am I really still me? If I have bits and pieces of other people in my head, where do I stop and where do they begin? Can I really be myself anymore?

Why do you think that you are so fragile as to be immediately changed by this? I understand what has altered between us. Where it comes from. Perhaps it is no different for you, if you're willing to examine it for that. We will change because change happens. And we will not give up who we are in the process, because we're too stubborn to let such a thing happen.

[Perhaps she is too rational, or too obsessed with control, to allow herself to see it any other way. But this is where she has come to stand regarding the matter. Lexa refuses to live in fear. She refuses.]

[ Pidge bristles and her anger rears up ,threatening to overwhelm the link for a moment. ]

I'm not fragile and I don't think I am! Don't you think it's reasonable to wonder about where our thoughts are really coming from? Especially when we're hooked in to twenty other people? We can't just... just... ignore that and act like we're only being influence by people like we normally would be!

[Realization dawns on her that as much as the Flame within her head had been an open secret, that it's likely that there are those who don't know about it. She hesitates for a moment as she recovers her own sensibility, all to even things out between the two of them.

That, above all else, is important.]

It's not unreasonable, but thoughts and views don't always shape you. But I have more reason to have experience with this than you. The spirit of my Commanders has always been with me, and that spirit is made up of countless voices. ... They guide and help, but they are not me. [She had been afraid at first, and still remains that way. How she alters herself without realizing it is at the heart of things, but she knows that the Flame has never influenced her to be anything less than who she is.

After all, it would have kept her from loving Clarke.]

Wait-

[ Katie pauses, trying to sort through the thoughts and emotions. Even with her walls, she sometimes has to pause and consider if she remembers something properly. ]

You mean - actual voices? That's not just a metaphor, is it?

You recall how the people of Concordia wished to preserve the memories of their people, almost as a means of providing them eternal life? The first Commander of my people accomplished this, and I am living proof of it.

[Lexa has grappled with the spiritual dissonance she experiences with knowing this information, but she does not reject the help of the Commanders in any way.

She is one with them, and they are one with her. How they got to that point matters little, especially given that their insight helps in numerous ways.]

That's... I don't know how I feel about it. I think it's sort of different, but... I get what you're saying. I think. Even if I have all these other people bouncing around in my head with me, I'm still... me, I guess. Even if they do influence my decisions.

[ She's not sure how much of that she believes. It still feels strange. ]

I... I still don't know how I feel about that, though.

Well, the Commanders are certainly far wiser than many of the individuals who find themselves here. Being influenced by that is hardly what anyone would want, to say the least. [It is far from the same thing, all in all, she can admit that much.]

Plus, the Commanders may enter my dreams, but they do not alter my ... sentiments toward others. Not to the degree that you or I can do to each other.

[Again, that much is certain.]

But perhaps the greater question is: we know that our minds have led us astray. How would you like to proceed, Katie?

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