[hatch log] everything happens so much

[onemind]

CHARACTERS: New Hosts & EVERYONE
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: DAY :039
SUMMARY: New faces and old losses - a hatch occurs and a number of older hosts go comatose. Coma'd hosts include all auto-piloted dropped characters to date.
WARNINGS: Will update as necessary. Need a warning added? PM this account please!

NEW HATCHES
YOU WAKE UP and suddenly you're a different person. No. That's not right. You're you and there's no suddenly about it. It's been a while, hasn't it? It feels like waking up from a very deep, extended sleep or like surfacing up from the darkness of the ocean and right there in your own head there's something both familiar and strange. You know intuitively that you've been unconscious for more than just a blink of the eye. While it’s impossible to tell exactly how long ago or how exactly you escaped the danger that had been breathing down your neck, you're certain it was more than a moment ago.

But here you are, a small miracle of the multiverse: lying in a small faintly hexagonal chamber, a gentle white light emanating from the surrounding walls. If you were injured during your escape, those injuries have been healed. If you were anxious or frightened or distraught, those feelings have been briefly calmed. There's something strangely peaceful about waking up here. That feeling persists even as you find the tube running from the base of your neck to the compartment's rear wall.

But once the tube's disconnected? Things get loud. A wave of emotion fills that peaceful void - fear, uncertainty, relief, a sense of purpose or loneliness or anxiety. Maybe some of these emotions are yours, but they can't all be. After the initial sensory overload, the mental buzz elongates: stretches out into a murmur like the sound of a party happening behind a closed door.

You can sit up - barely -, and shift out of the pod. There’s a ladder at your feet and a little cubby just before it with anything you brought with you as well as a set of crisp, loose-fitting white clothes; while your injuries are healed, whatever you’re wearing is in the exact state it was before. Maybe it's time for a change? Drop down the ladder to the floor of the Nesting Deck and you’ll find you’re not alone. The closer you are to these stranger, the louder the sound in your head becomes. --Actually they're not quite strangers either, are they? Something is wound about and between you and these people, whoever they are, are as familiar as this place you've never been is.

Welcome to Station 72. The air buzzes with activity. Somewhere deep in the Station, other minds call to yours. They are bright, brilliantly celebratory spots in your subconscious. They are sun-warm gentle, or they are fire and the taste of ash, or they are a vibrant frenetic whirl, or they are a tangled garden, or they are the feeling of flight through dense cirrus clouds. No two links are exactly the same, but you know for certain that you are connected to all of them in at least some small way.

Which is why it's easy to tell when something goes terribly wrong:


OLD HOSTS
THE ENDORPHIN RUSH of making it back to Station 72 (relatively) unharmed, having successfully acquired exactly what you'd set out to get your hands on can't be denied. Even if you're not necessarily the type to celebrate, there's no ignoring the thrumming celebratory sensation from those Hosts who are.

After a few hours of being back in the void, something else stirs in the air: the clear, prickling sensation of new hosts hatching on the Nesting Deck. They're a rush of mental information - as if someone's turned the volume on the radio all the way up -, a cacophony of sensation and emotional feedback for anyone unprepared to shield against it.

The swell of feeling might make it easy to miss what follows immediately after: the dull, gut-deep quiet as The Darkling, Chuuya Nakahara, and Nasu Rei go suddenly comatose.

---

((OOC Notes: This is the hatch log for all new hosts. Feel free to make your own logs and posts additional to this if you care do. You can find a more detailed overview of the hatching process HERE. You can find additional setting information about the Station HERE If you have any questions, please hit up either the FAQ or MOD CONTACT pages!))

NAVIGATION • SETTING • FAQ • MOD CONTACT • GLOSSARY

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

[huntsmachines]

"Months..." Aloy repeats the word with a certain sense of unhappy resignation. That means she won't be home anytime soon. It might well be winter or later before she is home. If she ever goes home. It's comforting to know that others here share her fear. At the same time, the sense of communion and belonging is tempting, drawing her closer to the others.

"I prefer green myself. I've seen cities." Well, technically she's seen a city. "They can't compare to the wilds. I saw the gardens but I wish we had something that felt less... controlled." Stifling nature seems wrong to Aloy. It can be guided, fenced in, but never stifled and confined the way the gardens on board seem to her.

[adamance]

"You'll find that they're controlled for more than one reason." Ilde's claim of that domain has kept Lexa far away. Of course, Lexa's own meaning there isn't entirely clear. The animosity between the two women will be found out soon enough, as they will surely butt heads again.

"I've been given opportunities to see other worlds through Cathaway's memories. Have you met with her yet?" It may also lend them the chance to see more themselves, to find worlds like that that can better serve them.

But then, it may be that the Enemy prefers more technologically ... advanced locales to attack.

[huntsmachines]

"More than one reason? What does that mean?" Aloy's curiosity is piqued and she glances over towards Lexa. Aloy senses that there's something there, but can't muddle through to determine what exactly. She exhales, then shakes her head in response to the questions that Lexa asks her.

"I haven't met anyone by that name yet. Should I seek her out?" She tilts her head, braids shifting a little.

[adamance]

"There are those among us who are prone to be territorial. Thankfully, some of them have left us." If Kylo Ren were still around, Lexa believes that she would have an even greater headache than she felt as a result of his loss. Her pettiness should be kept to herself, but Lexa isn't always known to be completely mature.

"That said, Cathaway isn't among them. Or projects herself to be that way. If you manage to silence the majority of voices around us right now, you'll find that she still manages to find a way to seep through. That is her strength." Despite herself, Lexa does respect Cathaway, even if respect always comes with a double-edged blade with her.

[huntsmachines]

"Ah, I think I get it. I'm not all that happy about people rooting around my head either. It feels... weird." That discomfort and awkwardness comes across loud and clear to Lexa. Aloy tries to shove it away and focuses on the conversation. Better to talk than to let herself dwell on the unpleasant reality of her situation.

"Unfortunate. I've already had enough of this leaking. It's like trying to drink a waterfall."

[adamance]

"Not everyone can help it. Some of us know exactly what we're doing when we do it." Lexa is no different, but she has decided to take a kinder approach with Aloy than she might with someone else. Everything with her is circumstantial, all to see what someone might do. With Aloy, the idea of kinship came first. Having someone trust her word when she understands harshness had been a priority from the moment she saw her.

"But there are others, like yourself, who will just ... let everyone know how you're feeling. You'll adapt to it in a way that suits you best."

[huntsmachines]

That sense of kinship is almost a relief. Aloy feels better knowing that there's someone here who understands her on some level. Someone who understands what it is to hunt and fight and to scrabble to live in a world that is strange and mystifying and above all beautiful.

"I don't know if I want to share with everyone. I don't exactly hide my feelings, but..." She shrugs.

"Sometimes I don't want someone to know if they're getting to me or that they're making me angry."

[adamance]

"Are you able to obscure those things normally?" Lexa's question is very pointed. She had been able to adapt to the emotional aspect of things, at least on her end, but experiencing others' emotions had been where she had struggled. It's to the point where people have used her restraint with her emotions against her (which is a fact that embitters her more than anything).

[huntsmachines]

"Um." That's a good question. Aloy has to take a moment to consider the question. Her mind runs through memories and her cheeks flush with embarrassment. It's an awkward thing, remembering all the times she's shown her heart to the people around her. Crying. Angry. Vengeful.

"No." At least she's honest.

[adamance]

"Then it's likely that you'll struggle. Instead of seeing those emotions as a tool for others to use, instead see them as something that you don't want to infect others. Feeling anger when you haven't asked for that is ... hardly a good experience." Of course, Lexa usually inspires anger when she's being antagonistic, but she can still remark upon it. Right? Right.

(She likes being right.)

[huntsmachines]

"I can imagine I mean--I'm already picking some of it up." Aloy winces. Picking up other's emotions and feelings and not being sure whether she was feeling her own confusion or her own anger was disconcerting enough. How was she going to deal with it now? Lexa's advice is welcome, though Aloy isn't sure how best to implement it. She frowns a little

"Just when things were calming down at home, too."

[adamance]

"Were they?" She gives a sense of thoughtfulness, even if there is no sound associated. Lexa can be rather theatrical when the time calls for it. "Can you use that here? It may help you adjust." Things will return to calm now that she has been removed as a threat. That is, if she believes what's happened to her.

[huntsmachines]

"I'm not sure if I can, truly. But I don't have to worry about my people. Or anyone else's people." There's a flicker of relief mingled with annoyance across her features and she pauses in her steps to look at Lexa again. Relief, again, that someone understands.

"It's a long story."

[adamance]

Lexa does not say that peace is not a thing that lasts, as she doubts that would help in this scenario. Oh, she thinks it, but thankfully, she knows better to conceal that particular thought.

"That your people have found peace should be a sign of what you can accomplish here," is what she says instead. "We are fighting a war of sorts. War is commonplace among many people's worlds." Of course, Lexa's interpretation of this as a "war" isn't always commonly accepted, but it's just how she is.

[huntsmachines]

Aloy is already feeling comforted by the other woman. Aloy projects confidence of her own, but it's good to have someone a little familiar in some ways. Someone who understands her life and way of living, even if they come from different places. She sidles a step closer to Lexa as they walk, unconsciously drawing closer as they move.

"I hope it can be accomplished here. I don't like war." For all her fierce vengeance and anger, the destruction war had brought to her people--to all the people she had met--disheartened her. So many dead and injured and displaced for the vanity of small men and the machinations of things set in motion long before she was born.

"I fight when I must."

[adamance]

"Then you'll be glad to hear that much of this war is fought through subterfuge. We are, more often than not, forced to catch up, to try to right the wrongs and rectify what our enemies have already accomplished. Part of that is being ... rescued, all to ensure that we don't pose threats to our people." The framing of it is neat enough, though, that Lexa isn't surprised that many find it uncomfortable.

"In that, I believe resiliency is what the people here need above all else. Knowing when to pick our battles and surviving because of it." She speaks as a leader, as someone passing wisdom, and it comes naturally to her. She doesn't notice the increased closeness, the fact that they continue on with an immediate bond. She's focused on being the leader she's always been raised to be—and someone granting her that possibility is more than she can ask for.

[huntsmachines]

Letting someone else be the leader is kind of relieving. Aloy has had to be the leader--or at the least, be on her own--for so long. Some of the tension drains from her. The feeling of kinship and camaraderie swells as she looks at Lexa again. Lexa speaks sense and it's comforting that someone more familiar with things is filling her in. Instead of having to flail around deciphering ancient logs and listening to Sylens' cryptic nonsense, she has someone firm and strong and... almost familiar.

"Sounds like you have a grasp on things. Thank the Goddess someone does." She smiles at Lexa. Her relief is palpable.

"I'm just not sure how I feel about getting dropped into someone else's war like this."

[adamance]

"My people would have claimed this war readily enough if they knew that I was threatened by it. But I made the choice available to me at the time." In coming here, she kept them from having to fight yet another war, even if there was already one brewing between the twelve clans and Skaikru. (It should have been different, it should have been all of them working in a united fashion, but she's not naive, she knew it would take time—)

"In that, my own belief in my importance is what allows me to embrace this head on. In part because it's true." She offers a slightly smug smile in confidence, even if she's clearly speaking ... somewhat in jest. Somewhat.

[huntsmachines]

"It's... It wasn't the same for me," Aloy admits with a wry little smile that's more sad than amused. She'd had allies to come fight with her, who had answered her call but she can't imagine any of them following her into this. Whatever it is.

"I never thought I was important. I was told my whole life I wasn't important, that I wasn't even wanted by my people." She hesitates, not sure what else to say. She knows Lexa is joking around a bit, maybe better not to delve too deep.

"Turns out they were wrong. Then suddenly I'm the most important person in the world," she says with a bitter laugh and then smiles at Lexa. "You seem rather important. Confident. I like that."

[adamance]

"I was the Commander of my people. It's a hard thing to shake." Lexa has grown all too used to passing along the supplemental information that's necessary here: that she led her people not just as a military leader, but as a politician. Commanding means everything that it should mean, as far as she's concerned. She doesn't want there to be any confusion about her approach to things, not anymore.

"Still, how important we are here is up to us. I fight this war because some of my people are here." Even if they deny that status. Murphy certainly does. "But there is still the risk that more might come from my world. Or your world. That is the burden you face now. Do you wish to fight for them, or strike out on a new path?" For her part, Lexa will always be burdened by where she's come from. It's how she maintains her ties to her identity.

[huntsmachines]

"I didn't want to be a leader or anything like that. I just wanted to be accepted.". That feeling is still there, brought closer to the surface by the conversation. It's a yearning for respect, companionship, belonging, and love. Lexa's question seems to catch Aloy off guard. She purses her lips and her brow furrowed in thought.

"I want to help my people. My world. I don't want to leave them to chance if I can help." Even if she doesn't truly want that burden. Even if she would rather it fell to someone else in some ways. Her mother helped save the world, so has she. Now she's being asked to do it again, it seems.

[adamance]

Acceptance. It makes sense. Lexa can understand why someone would not want to be tossed aside by their society. She knows that her people could be seen as cruel for doing it, but it was always in the name of survival. Even now, she can't shake that. It's hard for her to fully sympathize with Aloy's plight as a result: Lexa had always been cherished, loved, promoted, and praised. As a young warrior, she had been taken under the wing of one of their foremost warriors. As she grew up and was found to be a Nightblood, she ended up being the favorite of the novitiates. She can't speak to not belonging because her confidence comes from a place of importance, of significance: she has never believed in anything else for herself. Her people may struggle to survive, but she will always be the one who will help them do it regardless.

"Then you will fight, or act, in any way that you feel suits your people best." Lexa is and has always been a big picture person. Even in feeling confident in her standing, she has been trained to see the greater outlook. She has a harder time defining another individual's actions moving forward, if only because life has been so defined by surviving, by making it out alive, and so forth.

Which is why she proceeds to add: "Being here will make it easy for you to find acceptance, if you want it. It will be up to you how much you give yourself to that." It's cryptic, but she can see in Aloy what she saw in Angel. As much as she likes to tell people not to give themselves wholly to the Nest, to never lose that divide between selfhood and unity, she can see when she can't help it. Even Bellamy is the same way. He would have given himself regardless.

[huntsmachines]

"That's what I've always done." It feels strange to say 'always' when it's been days? Weeks? Since all of this started and she was hurled from her isolated world into a vastly larger one to find that she, yes she, the outcast, motherless child was born for greatness, to carry on the work of one mother hundreds of years dead and another who wasn't even a human being. The weight of that could be crushing. Almost devastating. She'd pushed through and kept going for her people, for her world and she'd do it here, too.

"I'm not sure acceptance is what I want any more," she admits. She had been accepted but in a way that made her skin crawl. A savior, almost a goddess to be worshiped instead of a person, a warrior just like the rest of them. She was nothing or she was everything, there was no in between, no middle ground for Aloy. Unconscious of what she does, how this place works, her mind stretches out towards Lexa's, almost as if her hand was grasping for something to hold onto. She doesn't intend it, but the familiarity and the understanding are the most she has gotten from anyone here. It's comforting.

"I want to protect my people. My Earth." That was Elizabet's calling and now it was Aloy's. She would do that, even if she was hurtling through the space between worlds.

"I want to protect life."

[adamance]

There may come a time when Lexa responds to the nudge with a challenge, to point out that it's apparent that what Aloy still wants is that acceptance. She doesn't pry further into the girl's thoughts to understand her thinking or her approach, but that simple action reminds her of Bellamy, of others—of that need to have something solid to hold on to. She is accustomed to being that for her people back home, but only from a distance.

But that time is not now. She sees no value in pushing Aloy away. Those harsh lessons can come later, when the time is right (and when she is not adjusting to the new conditions of her life).

"Would you consider that to be all of life? That's a great burden to carry." These words come with some hesitation, as Lexa's eyes were carefully examining Aloy's features throughout all of this, all to see what she might glean. "People die. They always will."

[huntsmachines]

Aloy knows harsh lessons. Perhaps not as harsh as the one's Lexa has learned, though. Aloy shifts her weight, feeling awkward and a little embarrassed as Lexa studies her. It's enough to make her blush a little--she's not used to the close scrutiny or the attention and her cheeks are a little pink. She tries to ignore it and focus on what they're talking about. Now isn't the time to worry about that sort of thing, Aloy. She shoves the feeling back, ignoring it as she looks back to Lexa. A touch of relief that her mental probe isn't slapped away, even if she wasn't entirely conscious sending it. This is comfortable. Or mostly comfortable, at any rate.

"I suppose so. I... Of course people die. And animals and plants and everything else die. It's part of life. I know that." Aloy frowns, gazing back at Lexa with an even stare. She's not one to flinch or look away and she returns the look with her own. Almost challenging Lexa. Aloy examines Lexa in return, unsure of what she's looking for.

"But there were things that threatened to wipe out all life and I fought them. I would fight them again. Life is precious. It was lost once in my home. Never again, if I can help it."