mental link, day :039

[polyphonos]

[The soft, rhythmic hiss of cards shuffling. Something honeyed on the tongue. The tang of citrus in the air. Cathaway's mind is an irregular, wavering thread picking crooked stitches through the Station.]

( Ilde and us were hard at work while you all were gone. We'd like to treat you to dinner tomorrow. )

Comments

[wille]

[ Her mind is a puny fan, its uneven blades betraying a rhythmic clicking as it frantically spins in a muggy room. The air remains unmoved, too thick to breathe in. Manic energy meets a futile endeavor. ]

( Is this your way of saying we succeeded? )

[ She hasn't heard as much from Prince. ]

[polyphonos]

[A blooming flower with a bee inside it. A wolf with all its teeth. The sensation of Cathaway smiling. What a shit heel.]

( Something like that. It was a little more explosive than strictly necessary, but we can't fault results. )

[wille]

[ You're one terrifying old woman, Cathaway. Maybe it's a good thing that Misato has made a habit of staring into the gaping maws of all her demons, flowers, wolves. ]

( No, you can't.

You promised me something when we first met, do you remember? )

[polyphonos]

[There in the darkness: the shape of something focusing. A mirror turning to reflect some forgotten light.]

( To help you win your war. )

[A simple answer to a simple question.]

[wille]

[ At least. At least she can't accuse Cathaway of being evasive. Somehow that blunts her anger. ]

( Yeah, that. Never mind. I'll think of a different prize. )

[polyphonos]

( Did The girl Asuka say something that upset you? )

[wille]

[ The girl Asuka somehow makes her seem less intimidating. Just a girl. It prompts Misato to realize how far inside her own head she has been dwelling of recent. ]

( She told me something upsetting. But I'm not upset at her, or at you. There's no point blaming anybody anyway, it's better to find solutions, and I will. )

[polyphonos]

[Consider her interest piqued - little pinpricks of attention flickering here in the space between them. It's unapologetic: a neighbor peering over a fence and not caring that she's being seen.]

( If you need our assistance with anything, we're happy to help you. )

[It's not what could be said or thought or felt. She could speak to the nature of the multiverse and it's variances. Maybe Asuka was a piece of some very different version of events. Maybe there is a place exactly like Misato's world where wars can be won, where children don't die in machines, where effort begets results.

But what's the point in such a condolence? It certainly does nothing for Misato here. It does less for the Nest.]

[wille]

( Are you really happy or is that just an expression? )

[ It's a snide remark, easy to deliver when Cathaway can seem so impersonal. We, she says, not I. Can the hive in its entirety feel anything resembling emotions? Doesn't emotion require the presence of an experiencing self? It occurs to her then that she herself is also the hive now and that leaves her questioning the validity of her anger and the validity of her self. The thought makes her feel sick, but then, is that really so?

Misato knows nothing of multiverses. Her understanding is simple: the only world she knows is the one she could grasp with her own two hands, and now it's said to be gone. So there. ]

( Tell me. What happens when we win? What happens to us? )

[polyphonos]

[Is there such thing as the sensation of a shrug? The mental equivalent of it?
If so, that certainly passes along the link now. What's the difference really?]

( The bulk of us does what is best for the collective. If we can help you be more comfortable, then yes. Your ease makes us happiest. )

[The misery of young Hosts can be exhausting. It makes sense to do her best to alleviate that. Besides, what cruel creature would rather their company be inconvenienced? They're a team.]

( Then we can do whatever we please. We imagine for many Hosts that might mean finding a permanent place to call home. But some might stay. We would. This is where we belong. And we are curious of what lays deeper. )

[wille]

[ Funny how absence can do greater harm than presence. Even compared with retaliation, a snide remark for a snide remark, anything would be better than apathy. Watch Misato beginning to understand a fraction of Asuka's heart.

The idea of idle peace frightens her. Her fear is clear through the link. She can't conceive of a life without a common enemy, a goal, a struggle. ]

( But there's no going home, right? It's not like we'll get to the end of this and you'll pull the symbiotes out of our heads so we can all go back to whatever we were doing. This is it. )

[polyphonos]

( We suppose if you wanted to go back to your universe, it might be possible after. But the symbiote would still be with you and time doesn't stand still where you come from while you're here. )

[Planets turn. Children are born. Wars are fought and lost or won.]

( This is it. )

[wille]

[ There's no stopping the merciless flow of time. Changes are permanent. Wounds heal, but leave scars. Regret is unfamiliar, unwelcome, but there it is. ]

( So it seems you've saved me, not just from your enemy, but from the end of my world. I don't know how I feel about that yet. )