station72 | Hello, it's me

Entry tags:

Hello, it's me

CHARACTERS: EVERYONE
WHERE: Hyrypia - The Swept Manor Grounds
WHEN: Morning of day 12
SUMMARY: Rudely calling like 80% of the Nest out for being cagey.
WARNINGS: Will update as necessary.

(Hello! Am I doing this right? Hello!!! Good morning!!)

[ The red sun is hardly up, it's barely after breakfast, some of the members of the nest may still be sleeping - and this one doesn't seem to mind. He noisily floods the network like a one-man-band who just won the lottery, his very thoughts musical and abrasively cheerful. ]

(It's been several long days since my young broodmate and I joined you in this dustbowl, but I have yet to meet all of you properly. I understand we're working covertly, but you're all quite cagey for being connected in the head, you know that?)

[ There's either a slight tone of vindication, as though he believes most have earned this morning call for being so standoffish. Or perhaps he's just being loud because he's inexperienced with the symbiote still. Possibly both. It's hard to tell through the band playing behind every word. ]

(Most of you don't know me yet, but I want to get to know every single one of you. Since we have another day here, I'd like to get started. Here, I'll go first-

My name is Gildor Helyanwe, and I'm a bard from Esterport. How are all of you? Well I hope, not getting too hot, learning to ride those constructs?)

[ The band stops. Crickets chirp, though hopefully not for long. If he's left hanging, he has no qualms over striking up the mental orchestra next. ]

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( Were you hoping to anger the very people you haven't met just yet? )

[It feels like a worthwhile question, given everything that's just occurred. Lexa had been awake, but blaring sound in her mind is hardly welcome. Getting up this early is supposed to be of a benefit to her: it should help her avoid something like this.]

(Hmm... not really, though I was aware that could be a possible outcome.)

[ And he still decided to do it anyway. He radiates sunlit warmth and gentler music, and the black expanse of his mind easily welcomes this new voice inside. ]

(If anyone's mad, I suppose I'll just have to make it up to them.)

( And how do you hope to do that? It's clear you considered the potential outcomes of this, and still acted on it. Either you put yourself first or you thought it would be worth seeing whether that would happen. )

[The lightness of how he projects himself leads her to believe that perhaps it was nothing so callous. It's impossible that he could both be new and control what others perceive of him, but maybe he has experience with all of this. It wouldn't be the first time.]

(However a host would like me to, if they make it known. And I guess I did put myself first...)

[ He's hardly guilty over the action as a whole, though individual apologies are being issued where deemed appropriate. So far recipients include a sleepy Pidge and very irritable Rust. ]

(I'd just like to get to know who it is I'm connected to is all. If no one will break the ice then I have no qualms with shattering it.)

[ Speaking of, they're getting off point- ]

(I don't believe I got your name.)

( Lexa. ) [Perhaps they got off the point, but Lexa was hoping for a more interesting set of intentions here. (That's not his fault, of course; that's more on her than anything.)]

( Do you feel that you've been successful in your goal here? )

(Fairly.)

[ His tone indicates he had hoped for a better turnout. More getting-to-know-you time before they all have to go and practice with the Elin again. ]

(It is my optimistic hope to build more bridges between us all, though it seems many have already established some rather thick walls.)

( Are you unaccustomed to warriors keeping to themselves? My people believe that strength comes in many forms. A wall is just one of them. )

[She recalls Nyx's frustration in being unable to get anyone to take his help. Gildor sounds far less frustrated in his efforts, at least. That may help him in his similar quest.]

[ His consideration of her words is quick, but not dismissed. ]

(While I haven't known many warriors particular well, I understand the value in the kind of strength you speak of. I also believe openness has it's own strength.)

[ A wall can only bear so much weathering before it crumbles. Likewise, a bridge needs to close for maintenance. What Gildor seeks is more balance within the Nest. ]

(I've noticed an abundance of walls here. While everyone has their right to them, I'd like there to be more consideration of bridges at the very least.)

[ He'll slowly chip away at them all if he has to. ]

( I'd advise you to not take it personally. Many of us come from worlds where those walls are the only means through which they've survived.

What you're offering here is fair enough—which I believe many here would be surprised to hear me say. We can't act as a cohesive unit if we do not know one another. )

[And Lexa herself admittedly fails when it comes to the "chummy" side of things. That's why she trusts Sam; he can handle it, but maybe he could use some help.]

( Have you spoken to Sam yet? )

(I'd thank you for that advice, and say I'll try not to.)

[ Try not to take the lack of welcome personally, that is. While he's not unsympathetic to those who've lived in harsher worlds, he's still a bard, an artist, and an extrovert. Craving attention and spotlight is an addiction he'll likely never overcome. Not entirely. ]

(I have not. Are they one of the anti-socials Miss Pidge warned me of?)

[ The anti-socials. So much for trying. ]

[There's an immediate sense of amusement that comes from her end. "Anti-socials." Plus, she's had more than one conversation with Pidge about not overthinking social interaction and doing what feels best.

But it's more the suggestion that Sam might be antisocial that amuses her the most.]

( Quite the opposite. He could use some help in building bridges. I believe he's largely been left to handle the task alone. )

(Well then, if he does not respond to this... link I've created, I will have to seek him out personally. Thank you again for your insight, Miss Lexa.)

[ A pausing beat in his thoughts - uncertainty. An unspoken indication that if there is another title she is open to, he is also open to it. ]

(If you have time, I'd love hear more about you. Your thoughts on this endeavor so far, and what skillsets you bring to it.)

[ So far she's (gently) scolded him, schooled him, and he has listened - but he hasn't really gotten to know anything about her. His dark expanse of his mind is still open, drums softly beating somewhere within, if she is willing to indulge him. ]

( I believe we've walked right into a trap, and the only means of getting out of it is unifying our efforts moving forward. I have experience with helping my people out of traps, but even then, I didn't do it alone.

In that, I've led my people during a time of war, even when we gave off the impression of peace at times. You could say I'm uniquely suited for this mission. )

[Lexa knows that some of her words aren't entirely straightforward, but the overall intention is clear: she doesn't like where they are or what they're intended to do. She also thinks that the only way they'll survive is if they can keep the tensions down among themselves, so that they can be a unified front when they face the threat (the very trap itself).]

[ He's a bit surprised at the sudden openness, but it's pleasant. The tiniest note of amusement plays in the dark, though his mental voice remains serious. ]

(I hadn't considered the trap angle. I've been trying to think from the Hyrypian's perspective, wondering how they will choose at the end of this so-called pilgrimage no one seems to know anything about. Thought perhaps it is all a test to determine the most worthy, but a trap laid within that-)

[ It presents a whole set of new problems. Being tested is one thing, but having the means to finish that test ripped out from under them is another. ]

(Well, since you are so uniquely suited, how is that unification going so far? I only ask as a newcomer with still much to learn.)

[ The most major thing he has learned is that so far is the members hardly act like a unit. He can think of one in particular who refuses to use the tools laid before them at all. ]

( With us, unification has to occur on an individual level. That's where Sam and I can work together, and you may be able to help. We're afraid to lose who we are to the Nest and to the symbiote because compared to our guides, the elder Hosts, we still feel like we have far more to lose.

I prefer to feel that perspective is justified. It's why they're so hesitant to share with you.

So, I speak to who I can on an individual basis, to see where they might stand on things. )

[Some people have accused her of being openly manipulative because of this. They wouldn't be wrong, but it's more that Lexa wants to help their group, and is adapting to trying to guide those who need it to where they belong. That she feels she can guide them is undoubtedly something that comes from a place of self-importance, but that feeling doesn't necessarily mean that she's malicious. Her choices do reflect upon herself, after all. If she makes a mistake, it will cost her.]

( As for the Hyrypians, it's that I can't see why they would mean for this to end in a choice that makes me believe that it's all a trap. They've always had the upper hand. )

(Hold on-)

[ A violin strikes a horrified high note. ]

(Lose who we are to the Nest and symbiote? Has that happened?)

[ Because if it has, that really does explain the the layers and layers of walls he's been running into. That his entire first assumption was wrong - that most members of the Nest aren't necessarily cagey and anti-social, but protecting themselves out of self preservation.

Any further thought on the mission is abruptly halted. Even the music playing in his mind deflates defeatedly and goes silent. In the hurried introduction he received to the Hive, he hadn't heard of this - or if he did, hadn't thought of using the symbiote resulting in the loss of his identity. ]

(I- I'm sorry, I need to think on this...)

( Only by choice. You will change here. You won't be the man you were before the Enemy attacked.

But the loss of identity is still unique to one individual so far. )

[That individual is Cathaway, from what she's seen.]

[ What she says helps ease his rising anxiety. That the loss of self is apparently by choice and has only happened to one, but that it could happen at all is still reason to be alarmed. While he still doesn't regret his little morning parade through the Nest, he understands better why so many did not respond to the call. ]

(I had expected to change, though perhaps not so severely. I'm relieved to hear it's rare.)

[ He's always had a very strong sense of self, a common trait among most bards. One he'd like to think has been stronger than ever in his long lifetime. ]

(Thank you for telling me this. I suppose I had to hear it sooner or later...) [ The notes of his thoughts pick up again and grow fast and flighty. Not out of fear, but a need to process. He remains committed to open communication, even with this slight new risk. ] (If I hear anything of note, I will be certain to pass it along to you or this Sam, if I can reach him.)

[She knows there's a great deal that she's leaving out, but her own fears weren't unlike his. Lexa still believes what she believed at the beginning. More than anything, that's what matters. The fact that she understands various references, has a more thorough knowledge of how guns work—it doesn't occur to her to mention it as strange. In that, her perception is more unreliable than even she realizes.]

( I have one question in return before we part ways. How was this mission presented to you by those on the Station? ) [She assumes they were told something, at least.]

[ He doesn't seem bothered by the added question, but he is bothered by how long ago his arrival to the Station feels already. He quickly recalls awakening, meeting with the one called Prince, and his deep voice. ]

(Briefly, basically, and more as an opportunity than something we had a choice in. The glass I was given delivered most of the outline. His Not-Highness was kind enough to explain that this would be different from previous missions, but remained more closed than any of those I've encountered here. If there were others besides Mr. Prince, the two I awoke with, and myself, they did not make themselves known in the short period I was there.)

[So, Cathaway had not been there to greet them. She takes note of that, though it may mean nothing at all. The woman is flighty and unpredictable. At times, she can't even help that she is.]

( And were you warned of the dangers of it being different? )

[She chooses not to bother explaining why Prince is so good at concealing his mind. She trusts that Gildor can put it together.]

(Yes, of course we were.)

[ It is crucial they remain disguised for the duration of the mission, and that they maintain their cover. The Prince's voice goes over the instructions again in his memory, along with the tinny sounding voice of the data glass. He may not like the rules and certainly doesn't enjoy the all-concealing gloves and scarves and boots, but he's as aware of the risks as any host. ]

(I understand how to dress and act for the duration of our stay here, if that is what you are asking.)

[A hint of amusement finds its way through the link. That he takes offense to her questions is interesting, as it's the last thing she expected. It's also why she wasn't asking.]

( If I were worried about your behavior, I would tell you, Gildor. ) [She can be blunt. Tact doesn't have much use if someone isn't getting the hint.] ( I wanted to know how Prince might have framed it for newcomers. Call it idle curiosity. )

[Though there's a bigger reason behind it, but she knows that those subtleties might be lost on someone new and overwhelmed by the number of unwelcome voices in their heads. It's unfortunate.]

(Oh, is that all?)

[ Any hint of offense there might have been is lifted away, like music notes on a light breeze. That Lexa doesn't trust the older host back on the station is fine by him - he doesn't either. ]

(For a moment I thought you were asking if I knew how to dress myself or not.)

[ He may be blind, but he's well aware that the Hyrypians aren't. Blame the years or scrutiny he's dealt with. He was almost expecting to be given a lecture on the dangers of dressing incorrectly and exposing the entire mission. Again. ]

( No, I believe anyone who doesn't know how to dress themselves properly was here all along. )

[This is kind of a mean joke/shade toward some of the older hosts.

Kind of.

As in.

Really is.]

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