onemind: (Default)
THE N E S T ([personal profile] onemind) wrote in [community profile] station722017-08-09 10:04 pm

[mission: hyrypia] give me my scallop shell of quiet, my staff of faith to walk upon

CHARACTERS: EVERYONE
WHERE: Hyrypia - The Graze
WHEN: DAY :013
SUMMARY: A day of competition begins, and Hosts put their newfound skills to the test.
WARNINGS: Will update as necessary. Need a warning added? PM this account please!






THE GRAZE
DAY :013

A MOURNFUL SOUND passes across the Graze in the early hours of the morning: the mingling drone of the wind coming up across the flatlands and funneling into the depths of the Finger Maze. It saws, a tired, hollow constant noise. Carried with it up through the Great Flat are maybe forty visitors carried by a variety of carts and wagons, automated and incredibly austentatious live mounts. Apparently the events of the day are drawing a crowd from the surrounding farms and homesteads on top of the various diplomatic envoys already in attendance.

After a brisk, light breakfast the short blare of a horn cuts across the encampment. It seems it's time to saddle up.



I. THE SIDELINES

A CHEER SWELLS up from the assemblage of Rabadoceans as a team successfully completes their event. On a nearby platform, musicians takes turns striking up a series of fast paced, sparkling tunes and the tang of roasting meat is heavy in the air. There's a sense of festival in this that quickly becomes lively as the Hyrypians' official pleasantries cede encourage the Meradan's cheerful, competitive shouting and the Descendants'' entertained clapping and smiling. There might even be a few smiles to be seen among the typically grim faced Carpathan diplomatic envoy.

Get something to eat. Talk to a stranger. Make friends. Sabotage a competing team. Most importantly: keep your eyes and ears open. For every moment you might spend machinating, someone (or something) else might be doing the same.

II. THE SORTING

THE SUN HAS FULLY RISEN by the time the first event is ready to begin. There has been a constant bustle up until this point, people meeting up and splitting off again, members of Envoy’s checking in with each other, carefully discussing their strategies- or laughing the challenges off as a game. Now, all of the competitors are gathered together to be given their tools- the ropes and crooks of the Gryer wranglers- even as the spectators begin to gather at the edges of the large pen, some standing at the fences, other on long staggered benches along the edges. There are a flags strung up all along the fences and large banners fly from the outermost posts of the pen. When it is nearly time the teams are split- each of the members led to a different point on the outside of the pen, to the gates that will set them loose upon the false gryer within.

When it is time for the Hosts to begin, the gates are again reset, the Gryer are all released from their holding pens, and the spectators have become no less raucous. They’re so loud it’s almost hard to hear the horn that calls from the holding pen, but the gates that spring open in front of the hosts are signal enough for them to begin. They are afforded just enough time to make their way fully into the pen before the three Gryer are lit, scattered through the herd and still milling about. The clock- or whatever passes for a clock- is ticking, and the faster they manage the task- if they manage it- the better.

When it is over, the crowd cheers, either way- energized by the competition and the strong grassy flavored drink that seems to improve every Rabadocean’s mood.

III. THE MESSENGER RACE

A SERIES OF FLAGS marks the route of the relay race that runs along the edge of the outermost cliff faces - not that it's necessary. Spectators are strung along the sidelines that it might be possible to run the race using only them as a guide for where to go. The course itself is studded with obstacles - logs and ditches, stacks of brush and at least a few imposing walls made from coral harvested out of the Finger Maze. The riders of each team are dispersed along the length of the course toward the finish line, quiet and lonely (if you disregard the forty or so other riders from competing teams in your company) and waiting in the midday heat for--

The short burst of a horn. The first string of Elin and riders, each in possession of a ceremonial scroll, launch forward across the starting line. Hopefully. What would be even better? If they keep all their riders in the process.

IV. THE ELINMASTER RUN

THE FINAL EVENT comes late - so late that the sun is already beginning to move towards the high horizon of the clifftops, leaving a cool purple cast across the landscape as the competitors and spectators alike are gathered at the yawning entrance of the isolated splinter of the Finger Maze. Unlike the other events, there is no seating, no rows, no stretches of banners or strings of flags. The environment doesn’t allow for it. Instead there are ropes separating the milling crowds from the riders. There are no gates and no strict starting point; rather, there is an area the width of the entrance and forty feet behind it that the racers may begin from. A large number are clustered near the very front - eager but clearly at extra risk, the metal and rubber flesh of the Elin automatons pressed close enough to crush. In the stillness of the near-evening air, the anticipation for this event is more subdued. More hushed. It's clear that the majority of the race will not be visible to spectators or judges. There will be only a small party waiting at the end of the course, ready in the clearing to mark places, and no witnesses before that.

The most senior members of House Basittia stand on either side of the entrance, protected by the ropes and flashy in their officiator-wear. When the horn is blown, sharp and with very little warning, it echoes down the length of the waiting canyon walls. It echoes strangely, broken only by the sound of metal hooves pounding forward into the maze and out of sight.

The first challenge is immediate - beyond the wide entrance the canyon begins to narrow dramatically. Those who have chosen the front of the pack will be forced to either get ahead or muscle their way through the others around them. Those that have chosen to stay further back will find that the distance between them and the next rider ahead of them narrows. Before there is much chance to adjust to the new positions, there is the first obstacle - a ditch, narrow but sudden, ready to take the legs out from under an Elin that fails to jump. From there the course begins in earnest. A number of paths split off from the main line, each with their own challenges. Coral branches fallen in the path, others arching just over rider’s heads. The course is full of switchbacks and sudden turns and in places the ground is made of pebbles that slide beneath the metallic hooves of the mechanical beasts. The course narrows in sections, barely wide enough to allow one rider to pass, and as the race stretches on fewer and fewer are able to continue. Some riders simply fall, others are knocked off, others foul their mounts and end up as new obstacles for those behind them.

By the time the end is in sight - a large open clearing, the far end of which has a simple stage where the judges wait - many racers have been unseated and countless others have simply fallen behind. But for those who make it to the end, there is a note in an ancient looking tome and a ribbon to be tied around their wrists to show that they have completed their trial. They will linger there in the winner’s circle until the last of the racers trickle in. Once that happens, they will be allowed at a much more sedate pace to make their way out of the canyon and into the awaiting cheering crowd - into the beginning of night and the lighting of the great braziers and flames, the scent of a well-earned meal that awaits them carried across the Graze by the mournful sigh of the wind.

V. BEFORE, AFTER, AND BETWEEN

THE COMPETITION stretches long, each individual challenge met by scores of Envoys eager to impress or simply eager for something to entertain themselves with. But the day is made far longer by the time between the competitions which is filled with talk, general chatter, and some good- and less good-natured betting - all lubricated by a constant stream of the cool grass drink that’s growing rapidly more popular as the sun’s heat increases. There's plenty to do- and plenty to enjoy between the events themselves. People will have little trouble finding things to keep busy with. And after the competition is said and done there is dinner (of course), the great dining tents pulled open and even more crowded than before with the additional local color. It’s those locals, and perhaps the camaraderie born of shared experience, which seems to help encourage some of the Envoys to intermingle more than they have before.

Of course, not everyone is in a good mood. Some of the participants didn't perform as well as others. Bruised egos are as abundant as bruised bodies among some envoys... a potentially volatile situation considering the close quarters they share with other Rabadoceans who clearly think very highly of their own performances.






((OOC Notes: This log covers the competition events of Day :013 and any related sideline activities. You can find a full breakdown of the events/a place for mini-event specific questions HERE. Sign-ups will remain open until the next event log goes live, however going forward please make sure to either join the individual event or have a full team selected for the team events. Please be aware that signing up late won't give you extra time to finish your thread to qualify for the finale event.

Have more generalized questions? Drop them on the MISSION: HYRYPIA OOC POST or get in touch with us on the Mod Contact page.))







skaikru: (pic#11782191)

i certainly don't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-10-13 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
( that neat little bottle isn't entirely solid. )

We're not here to die for the entertainment of others.

( it's a fast and immediate response, a bit louder and bit angrier than the conversation requires. clarke is suddenly and painfully aware that they're surrounded by other people, sandwiched in among excitable aliens well within personal bubble area, let alone earshot, and that they're not conversing in their heads. that feels like a mistake, and for a moment she's braced. waits for someone to round on them with suspicion; steels the diplomatic facade despite wanting nothing more than to scream at the competitors from the nest to get back here.

the world doesn't implode. the moment passes. clarke turns her head to look at asuka, attention focused like she could look the girl up and down and see any potential injuries underneath the layers of clothing. casually: )


How was your event?
redheadcarrier: (brush my hair)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-10-14 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ Asuka waits for the anger to simmer, biting her own tongue. Of course they're here to get hurt. It's part of what they do. Getting hurt is just part of the job. It happens. Complaining about it won't change anything. Even if she complains all the time that doesn't mean she tolerates it in other people. Which is a bit hypocritical, but Asuka can be a hypocrite. ]

It was fine.

[ She puffs up a little, in fact. ]

We did great!
skaikru: (pic#11655208)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-10-23 11:45 am (UTC)(link)
( on some level, it just feels good to air her concerns out loud. to grouch and grump to a person, even one who stubbornly shook off her worry and didn't seem to be really listening. it's like finally letting out a breath you've been holding in, and makes it that much easier for clarke to put forth a soft whisper of a smile. to nod her head in agreement. )

You looked great out there. ( well, at least no one fell off the elin and broke something. that's great, right? her bar is pretty low in these conditions. ) You all did.

( it makes it so much easier to fall into the role of caring about one person, making sure that one person was safe, than trying to worry about the nest at large. and because she's the closest at hand, that person right now is asuka. )

Have you eaten?
Edited 2017-10-23 11:46 (UTC)
redheadcarrier: (Fingers on the screen.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-10-23 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Uh - not yet. I just finished.

[ And she's dusty and sweaty and covered in the usual muck one picks up after riding around and around and around on an Elin for half the day. Still, she's energetic - and apparently starving, since the last time she ate was breakfast. ]

Why? Is there food?

[ She is a growing teenager, after all. ]
skaikru: (pic#11655207)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-10-25 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
( asuka is a pleasant distraction from watching the games in front of them, and perhaps a little selfishly, clarke allows herself to be hooked into the girl's peaked enthusiasm for food. it's easier to ignore, if only for a moment or two, that someone she loves is balanced precariously on top of a fake horse somewhere out there while she's standing uselessly on the sidelines when asuka's hungry and there's actually something clarke can do about it.

with a light snort that might have been a laugh, she's reaching out to gently grasp asuka's shoulder and start guiding them through the crowd, over towards where clarke last spotted a vendor with some slow roasting grey meat. )


There's so much food, ( she mutters almost conspiratorily. ) And dinner later, too. I'm sure that'll be a big affair.
redheadcarrier: (Why yes I am fantastic.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-10-26 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Around here? Yeah.

[ Asuka responds with a bit more cheeriness then the last time they talked. Apparently she's in a better mood, having actually won something for the day.She allows herself to be steered. Being treated to food is great, too. Even if there's not really any money at stake. She taps one foot into the dust and then rolls on. ]

They're always celebrating something. Which, I guess makes sense. It's a pilgrimage or whatever, but still - every night feels like a giant party sometimes.
skaikru: (pic#11655203)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-10-26 08:07 am (UTC)(link)
( it only takes a few more steps to stumble upon a man selling food, and a few polite words exchanged for him to hand over two gristle dripping skewers. they smell delicious, but every time clarke encounters strange food, she thinks of chocolate cake; of sweets and delicacies meant to ply their trust. even if their native hosts have been nothing but accommodating, at most she nibbles her food at meals, and hands both sticks to asuka. )

Makes me wonder what it's going to be like when we get to the end of all this. ( an idle comment, mostly saying something for the sake of saying something.

she's scanning around the clearing, back at the games, looking for somewhere reasonably safe to eat without risking a flash of a jaw bone whilst trying to feed themselves under their veils. )
Do you want to go back to the tents? I have water and washcloths too.
redheadcarrier: (brush my hair)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-10-27 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ Whoa, two skewers? Although she could probably use them, honestly. She's starving after spending half the morning competing. She's going to have to find somewhere a bit more private to eat, though, since she's going to get drippings all over her veil if she doesn't. She glances around for someplace to sit as she juggles the two delicacies. ]

Who knows? It's the first time I've done anything like this.

[ Asuka shrugs. She's not thinking about the end. Just the now. ]

Tents sounds good.

[ And she turns to make a beeline, weaving between people. She's quick on her feet, at least. ]
skaikru: (pic#8799022)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-11-03 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
( what a good adoptive child, doesn't even pitch a fit over bath time.

clarke lets her take the initiative and set the pace, making a note of the ease with which asuka jets off toward the tents and allowing that to offer some comfort that the girl really, truly escaped her trials without any injury. but speaking of injury, lexa is still involved in the elinmaster run, and clarke pauses quite a few times on their walk back to the tents to stare over her shoulder at the crowd in the growing distance. it's a source of conflict, staying behind to watch the remainder of the run and focus, but try not to distract, lexa, or trailing after asuka to assure she's properly fed and cleaned.

it's less of a conscious choice to follow the younger girl, but ultimate she does. winding through people milling about, reaches the tents, and overtakes her in order to lead them both into her sleeping tent where ample water jugs and extra rags were abundant. it's a measure of relief, like always, to peel back the layers around her face and strip heavy gloves off sweaty palms. )


Make yourself comfortable. Are you thirsty?
redheadcarrier: (Huh?)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-11-03 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ Asuka's fairly sure she can keep herself clean just fine. She's been managing it and besides, who wants to wallow in their own filth? She's done that before and it isn't fun. Even if her memories of it are blurred. She'd been mostly comatose during that time period and it isn't something she really wants to think about again. Instead she tries to focus on the positives in the here and now. She's got food, she won, things are great! Yeah. Really great.

It's one of those moments where she feels on top of things and even if some little part of her knows that she's going to be coming down from this emotional high, she ignores that thought. Shoves it way far into the back of her head and instead she settles into the tent and carefully sets the skewers down on a bowl while she starts stripping free of the layers and layers of cloth.
]

Uh, I could definitely use some water. It's warm out there.

[ She shakes her hair free and it goes cascading down her back, all fiery red. There's an eyepatch over her left eye, but otherwise she looks like a healthy (if slightly scrawny) fourteen year old. ]
skaikru: (pic#9056162)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-11-03 10:03 am (UTC)(link)
( there's a stark difference in being able to care for one's own self, and in being cared for. and along with all the other kind sentiments clarke had loosely pointed out that everyone deserved — understanding, acceptance, a support system; an older tune ran along the lines of forgiveness — sometimes being taken care of was one of those things. especially when one of those everyone's was a young girl who'd just spent the day doing physically taxing things in the name of their combined effort. plus it helped to steel her nerves, keeping her hands busy.

so she's huffing on a bland sort of amusement at asuka's response, first making quick work of divesting herself of the most stifling costume pieces, then readily crossing to the nearest water jug and cups to pour out liberal amounts of just-below-room temperature water into two clay mugs. then she busies herself collecting a handful of clean rags and sealing the mouth of the jug with the cloth before upending the pitcher to dampen them. when she joins asuka, settled on the floor, the makeshift washcloth is proffered first. )


For your hands. ( despite their many layers, sand dust had a way of getting places. and the high-end street meat was gloriously greasy.

the cup is pushed forward next, and clarke raises her own in a lackluster sort of toast to nothing in particular. it is hot out there, warm even in the shade of the tents. )
I'm not sure if a red sun just burns with a higher intensity than yellow, or if it just feels that way because we've been standing out in it all day. What do you think?
redheadcarrier: (Why yes I am fantastic.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-11-03 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
What-?

[ She's slightly confused about the cloths, but she takes them after a moment and carelessly wipes her hands clean as she settles in and tries to get comfortable. She feels... better, sort of. There's food and water and it's not quite as hot as it could be. After a moment of cleaning she stretches herself out, looking very much like a lazy teenager, and picks up her cup so she can return the toast with a wry sort of amusement. There's a bit of grin that spreads over her face as she replies, sounding very much like she knows what she's talking about. ]

It just feels that way.

[ There's a definite feeling that she could've added "duh" to the end of the sentence, like it's common knowledge. ]

Red suns are actually cooler than yellow ones.

[ She goes to town on her skewer next, shcewing a mouthful of the gloriously greasy, delicious meat. Whatever it is. ]

It's basic astronomy!
skaikru: (pic#8799132)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-11-06 09:31 am (UTC)(link)
( clarke watches her eat with a trickle of amusement, and a low chuckle escapes her lips as she raises her cup to drink. ) Sorry. I never paid much attention to astronomy. ( oddly enough for a population based in an ancient space station, studying the stars hadn't been at the forefront of any educational syllabus. maintaining generators, mechanical services, cultivating hydroponic farms, medical prowess, and survival skills for an earth they hadn't expected to land on for another hundred years — those had been the important life skills they'd all been bombarded with. and down on the ground, those had been much more important than knowing which color sun burned the hottest.

but she keeps that to herself, instead content to sit and smile and watch asuka. there's a stretch of silence while they eat and sip water respectively, which clarke eventually breaks thanks to a nagging question in the back of her head. )


Hey, you're from the same world as one of my brood, aren't you. Kaji, and then also Misato, I guess.

( it makes sense. despite never being spelled out for her, the pieces of the puzzle just all seemed to fit: asuka's familiarity, the resonation of the importance of the second and third impact. it's like feeling she'd known rust, kaji, and mat's names before they'd even introduced each other, like they'd sat just on the tip of her tongue. ) Right?
redheadcarrier: (Shinji is an idiot.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-11-06 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Asuka seems very pleased with herself as she eats and drinks and essentially refuels after a long morning. The silence is oddly comfortable - she can live with it - but then Clarke asks a question. She pauses and glances over, wiping her lips with the back of a hand. She can feel a bit of a twist in her stomach when Clarke mentions that name - "Misato" - and she takes a slow breath, glancing away with a little 'hmmph'. ]

Yeah. I am. Why? You've met her, right?

[ She's more focused on Misato than Kaji. Kaji, at least, acknowledged her. Even if it wasn't really what she wanted from him. ]
skaikru: (pic#11655170)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-11-08 12:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, I've met her. They both sleep in my tent.

( this tent, the one they're sitting in. clarke works very hard to keep the edge of bitter dislike out of her tone and remain impassive, but permits her gaze to wander to the pairs designated sleeping roles and stare a little harder than strictly necessary at the vacated sheets. )

But I don't know either very well...

( it's a fade off, a prompting question. an open, expectant invitation for asuka to jump in and fill in the details without clarke having to outright ask. straight up asking misato if she trusted kaji had backfired squarely in her face, so it's time to employ a new tactic. )
redheadcarrier: (Of course I'm angry.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-11-09 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh. Asuka glances up with a sudden holt, as if she's been shocked, fixing Clarke with a look that says far too much and far too little at the same time. There's a faint twist of her lips - almost disgust. Maybe a touch of hurt. Her attitude seems to change, shoulders going a bit stiff as she glances back down at her food. Hmmph. ]

They're together. Kind of.

[ She sounds dismissive of them. Of their relationship, if they have one. ]

Misato's a bitch. She likes to pretend to be all peppy and friendly, but it's not like she actually gives a crap.

[ There's definitely no bitterness there. Nope. ]
skaikru: (pic#8799119)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-11-22 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
( thus far clarke had been able to gather the impression of together, kind of based solely on seeing the two of them sleep side by side from her position across the tent. there are other tells: the fondness with which kaji had compared her to misato, the familiarity with the other woman despite their inability to hold a conversation that didn't feel like some sort of competition of who could rattle the other's cage more effectively. and while clarke wonders what estrangement is embodied in that kind of, she doesn't pay it much mind other than a casual hum of understanding. that could be picked at later, compared to her alignment with lexa; together, kind of, though the two of them keep an appropriate and respectable distance when they sleep.

instead, she focuses on the evaluation of misato as an individual. it's only been a few hours since they'd spoken with intensity and unbridled accusatory statements, and as reserved as clarke is to call anyone a bitch aloud, there's another hum. this time of agreement. and when she speaks, it's with the conviction of likeminded people discussing a topic they're completely on the same page about. )


So you don't trust her. ( the bitterness is lacking on this end, but heightened caution and ready distrust run rampant and easily displayed on her facial features. ) Is that fair to say?
redheadcarrier: (Steely determination.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-11-22 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ Asuka has a keen eye and she is watching Clarke for a reaction when she descibres Misato. She's a bit gratified to see that Clarke tends to agree with her - or at least isn't calling her out for being cruel or mean or blunt. She shifts her weight around, shoulders rolling in a shrug as she considers the question. It's... harder to answer than she anticipated. After a moment, she frowns and then shrugs again as she tries to wrap her head around the answer she wants to give.

Misato is complicated.
]

She's competent, if that's what you mean.

[ It's said grudgingly. Whatever her complaints with Misato, the Major wasn't bad at her job. ]

But no. I don't trust her. And why should I? She's never really cared about me. I was just a disposable tool to her and now she barely acknowledges I even exist!

[ That's... some vitriol, alright. ]
skaikru: (pic#11782187)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-12-04 09:20 am (UTC)(link)
( incompetence and untrustworthiness are two very different beasts to be reckoned with, and although asuka deigns to wipe one of these hindrances from the board, clarke can't quite find it in herself to feel... heartened. there's another slight hum of understanding in her throat, but most of clarke's attention is fixed on asuka's face, watching the vehemence and venom color and contort her features. it's a personal admittance, and honest if perhaps not entirely objective. but she hadn't asked for objective. )

So she used you. ( and subsequently threw her away. clarke has no ready comparisons for her own life, none that haven't already wound their way back around to peace with her manipulators. four months ago and she would have been spitting lexa's name with as much hatred and distrust. five months, her mother. ) How?
redheadcarrier: (Monochrome phone.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-12-04 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
They all used me.

[ Asuka's still bitter over all of it. But how does she really put the experience into words? How does she get across the depth of betrayal she's felt? Or what it felt like to be shunted off to the side over and over again, quietly neglected until she started to waste away? Some of it leaks through their link - the emotional impact that's stayed with her. Flickers of "benign" neglect, of being passed over, of being told that she was "only" a child, of being expected to play second fiddle, of favoritism.

It's a jumble of images and emotions and sensations and it likely makes no sense whatsoever.
]

Once I wasn't any good, they just got rid of me. She knew what I could do and she still made me second string. They still didn't try to save me. She cared more about Shinji. He had to get all the special treatment.
skaikru: (pic#11920593)

[personal profile] skaikru 2017-12-08 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
( asuka's feelings wash over her like a high wave with a particularly strong riptide, and there's that threat of being dragged into the sea of swirling hurt that rests just beyond the shallows. it's still a heady experience, being swept up in someone else's thoughts, and it takes all of clarke's conscious effort not to allow their embittered emotions entangle. the wounds don't match, she can't relate to asuka's experiences by filtering them through the mesh of her own life and finding commonality, but ultimately clarke doesn't need to in order to come away with a very firm stance on the woe's that had befallen the other girl in her short lifespan. )

I'm sorry. They shouldn't have — and none of that should have happened to you.
redheadcarrier: (Monochrome phone.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2017-12-09 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
Doesn't really change anything, does it? It still happened.

[ She's not really in the mood to hear "it shouldn't have happened". It did. Words don't change that. She's still here, still has the memories and the pain that's been caused to her. ]

Now she just ignores me.
skaikru: (pic#11920608)

[personal profile] skaikru 2018-01-01 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
( platitudes and sympathy never do as much as the one who utters them hopes they will achieve. and clarke knows if the roles were reversed, it'd be another useless sentiment she didn't want to hear. she blanches a little, at her own words and asuka's smooth rejection. doubles down; tries again. )

If you hate her that much, do you really want her to pay attention to you?
redheadcarrier: (Going to cut a bitch.)

[personal profile] redheadcarrier 2018-01-03 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
I want her to tell me that what she did to me was wrong.

[ It's what she tells herself, anyway. In reality, there's probably something to the idea that she hasn't been able to figure out how to just get past it, already. ]

I want her to treat me like a person!
skaikru: (pic#11920605)

[personal profile] skaikru 2018-01-06 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
( that's a fair desire, and clarke feels so fully for the other girl that she's pressing her mouth into a thin line and nodding in agreement. that's fair, that's deserved, and she finds she wants very much for asuka to receive the recognition and validation she'd earned. but that nagging voice in the back of her head, the one that insists none of them will ever get what they truly want — the train of thought still smarting from butting heads with misato a little while ago, that feels like she's walked away with enough of an understanding of the woman to make judgements — insists that asuka might never get it.

a pause, a break. carefully formulated words, spoken slowly. )


If she never does. Will you be able to get past that?

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