mental link;

[shri]

[ Knock-knock -

- or something like the creak of city gates of her wanting to reach out to anyone else in the hive that will respond. ]

( These ability we have aside from communication. I require a trainer for my own.

And a decent explanation of what they are and their pitfalls. I am not familiar with this kind of... magic. )

[ Yeah she can't think of another word for it. ]

Comments

[perroquet]

(Rani, you wound me.)

[shri]

[ She hovers, slightly, because what she wants from Gildor is - not in that realm.

( The things she can't ask for come as sensation: the quiet lean in, where she slipped against him like crumbled ash, the fall of her hair over his shoulder, the way she closed her eyes and could feel nothing else but his breathing . Fell against him like she did not have the strength herself up and - ) ]

( It's not then that I need you. )

[perroquet]

(Then, when you are in such a vulnerable and unpredictable state? Music is the heart of emotion, I am confident I can help if you allow me to.)

[ All that she does not ask of him and more, he can provide - he's quite sure of it. ]

[shri]

[ She still feels unsure over but she knows it for what it is... selfish, a need to preserve his presence for herself. ]

( Do you not trust them? Or feel that you will be better suited to it? )

[perroquet]

(Mr. Cohle and Bellamy I trust well enough. I do not know this Commander Shepard, but if they have your trust, then... alright.

Though I must still answer yes, I feel suited to it. I have magic and skills that can potentially bring you back to your senses faster, and I am brood.)

[ He's a bit sour on that note. Sour like the scent of old blood. ]

(You already reject your brood enough, so please.)

[shri]

[ And to that scent, she pulls, hard against the bit she feels shoved into her mouth. Stung by his words, almost, even if she knows the merit of them. ]

( - I must. She will poison us all. Even if no one else will see it. )

[ But saying that, would be too much, she pulls back removed. The slam of those gates, the kick against fences. Because she is herself again, and she will never. ]

( Very well, join me then. )

[perroquet]

[ The memory of the smell grates on him as well, but for less volatile reasons. He merely dislikes it, as the scent makes him ill. Her reaction makes him sigh inwardly, his pull to her growing gentle with careful honesty. ]

(Would you still wish for me to join you knowing I harbor no ill will towards Miss Gilbert for what she is, and that I would support her just as I support you?)

[ Part of him cannot believe he is having this conversation with her here and now, but it had to come up eventually. ]

[shri]

[ And just like that, she shuts herself out it completely. The veil that falls over her face, the gate that creaks on its hinges. The palatable thought that - that is his right, isn't it? - and - she has no business being hurt over such a thing -

Not so much gone and forcefully removed from herself. ]

(You will do as you will, I am not your keeper. ) [ a pause, because when it is happening she will not be able to care, will she? ] (I will let you know when I require the assistance. )

[perroquet]

[ The veils are drawn, but he still recognizes the outlines of her face, once cradled in his hands. She tries to hide herself, but she never fully can, can she? Not from him, not from Mirfac - not even from Elena. The strain those two go to keep each other at arm's length weighs on him. Just like how she did not name him, to feel her withdraw pains him, and he doesn't hold back sharing it. ]

(You sound as though require the assistance now. Do not shut me out like you do to her, Rani. We must all know and come to accept one another-)

[shri]

( I will accept her when this body no longer has breath. I will not forget myself so easily as that. I will not forget my people's -suffering- like that. )

[ It's spat out, how could he - ? How could he do so much for her, slide his fingers on her skin so carefully, be so adamant to not see her title, only herself with his hands at her jaw, and then say as much to her. Like it was Shinji's childish petulance to refuse Elena. ]

( Enough. There is more important things than that. )

[perroquet]

(We will never get to anything more important as long as your prejudice stands in the way of our brood's unity. The Nest's unity-)

[ And really, isn't unity the point? Why have this ability to communicate and these unique powers suited to them if they are not meant to use them in a coordinated, joined effort. Their lack in doing so has yielded them a whole lot of nothing so far.

She snaps at him, and it's all Gildor can do to keep his mental voice calm and level back. Her emotions are contagious, but a good marker of distinction to divide them from his own. All he desires is peace between them, and though he realizes that is easier wished for than done, he tries- ]

(I do not want to draw comparisons to your people's suffering at the hands of vampires, but know I have my own share of experience with them. Listen to her, learn from her experience, and allow her to learn from yours with compassion, not hatred. Miss Gilbert is not the same as the monsters from your world nor mine. She maintains her empathy.)

[shri]

[ It doesn't take much, sometimes, for her to lose her temper, and from him - this only other she has let it, even slightly, and undoably so, let him, let him have her quiet, her stillness, and she cannot take it back - it's too much. ]

( Enough! )

[ It's snarled loud, directly cut. The thunder of canon fire at wall. If he thinks she won't cut her own arm off to save the infection he's wrong. ]

( I have had enough lectures from children about her -empathy- let alone to receive one from you. Come back to me when you have something of merit to say. )

[perroquet]

(Something of merit, or something you want to hear?)

[ Because there is a difference, and Gildor is up to challenge her on it. He's been careful not to fall into step behind her title. So far she has defied his expectations of a queen, but this - an outright and stubborn rejection of an argument because it does not validate her own - it's exactly what he would expect of a petty royal leader.

The feeling that follows is not anger or rage to match her own - it is disappointment, plain, simple, and uncharacteristically quiet. The sense she is letting the Nest, Mirfac, and him down. The pit he finds opening in the hope he held out for is so much deeper than he wants it to be, but it is black like the presence of his mind. Easy to conceal, though the pain is still forming. ]

[shri]

[ It hurts - that she has, that she never, never wants to, not those that look to her. She wants to stand by them, - but not at the cost of that which she defined herself at. That she's being exactly as he expects - possessive like she has a right to dictate what he thinks and feels.

It rolls heat up her neck, something like embarrassment, hurt, shame, and then the stubbornness. No, she would not let anyone cut her in half, not again. ]

( Because it is a betrayal of all that I am. Who am I loyal too if not to my people? )

[ And she severs the connection sharp and suddenly, she's done, right now. ]

[perroquet]

(We are your people n-!)

[ He's not fast enough - the palace doors are slammed in his face and Gildor is left bracing himself on the phantom feeling of an iron gate she left behind. While he's frustrated at been shut out, it's probably a good thing he was.

He'd almost lost it back at her for a moment. ]