station72 | mental link;

( Not in my experience. They would rather deny it right out, stop a person from even speaking if they can. )

[ There's a sensation of holding letters. In her hands as she shakes with a barely kept. It's a all too personal knowledge. ]

( I seemed to invoke my own emotion in others. Followed by a subsequent lack of any feeling in myself. )

( Permanently, I take it.)

[ he won't re-litigate the merits of leaving alone the symbiote and whatever special powers it confers. an old and comforting habit sees kaji drop his side of the argument with casual insouciance.

if he were to assign her power a title, he would opt for 'reverse emotional vampirism'. though he knows better than to use that turn of phrase with her. ]

( That could be the most powerful one I've heard yet. I'm inclined to keep my distance. ) [ only half-joking, and he doesn't bothering hiding the half that is serious. ] ( Emptiness? Or dissociation? )

(Misato insists it is fitting. )

[ it's laughed like it's light easy topics to talk about and to that her own defense if nothing is taken too seriously in her immediate presence, she can distance herself. ]

(Emptiness. Utter, complete. I felt nothing. Not love or hate, and no shade between. )

( Katsuragi? Hers is fitting, too, now that I think about it. )

[ somewhat misleading. he's thought about it before, thought it to death, and from his ruminations he has concluded that the similitudes between a host's natural gifts and their symbiote ability evince more sinister influences at play. easier to accept something when it is familiar. give it enough time, and you'll forget you ever needed the symbiote in the first place. ]

( Most likely I'm inviting disagreement when I say this, ) [ MUST BE NICE ] ( but that doesn't sound too bad. Not that you would be able to appreciate it in the moment, of course. )

[ She trickles bright with laughter over that - him too? ]

( Now you sound like Master Cohle. )

[ There's a shake of her head before she goes on. ]

( And for that, I have but the same answer. I am only as good as the compassion I have for those that I serve. Without that, I am nothing. )

[ Not the nest, that much is clear, she thinks. but her people. Those whom she serves. A mix of the sun-drenched people of her homeland, to the rain-logged starved and hungry of England. My people, comes the memory, the feeling, the utterness of purpose that is no more or less than the clock that ticks over, the sun that rises and falls, on and on and on, and I am theirs. ]

[ he doesn't quite manage to stifle his laugh. someone might have the mind to take offense to that, but kaji's been accused of much worse, much of it true. cast no mud at a pig rolling in filth. ]

( What you're saying, no compassion in the absence of feeling? Some scientists would disagree with you. )

[ a brief, thoughtful pause, almost as if she'd been put on hold while he reminisces about something or someone. but then: ] ( By the way, Master Cohle? Tell me, is it his hazardous good looks or his lone wolf personality? )

( Scientists I find, aren't in charge of governments and -- )

[ Whatever she means to say is quickly derailed.

What?

There's a freeze of something like an animal moving and someone had turned the lights upon it quite suddenly. She hovers, a step between thoughts and - ]

( - Neither. It is a term of address. It is shockingly rude to simply refer to someone by their name. )

[ So there! At least one member of this hive wasn't raised in a barn. ]

[ seeing that she's unbalanced by the quip, kaji smiles very quiety. it's the small things in life. ]

( If there's something you want to say about me, go ahead and say it. ) [ outside of a perverse pleasure in rattling a queen, nothing strange or accusing comes from his easy, disarming chuckle - it echoes from the depths of the connection between them. he'd been the one to refer to misato by her last name, after all, and he hones in on the discrepancy like a fox after a rabbit. ] ( If I remember correctly, Misato's name stood alone. Or maybe it's a male thing, in which case leave me out. It's even worse to refer to someone with a title that doesn't suit them, right? )

[ This is only fair when she's doing it to Rust. Or Elena. Or basically anyone but herself. ]

( If it was about suiting a title, Master Kaji, a great many Lords would never have their name names uttered with the reverence that comes with those positions. )

[ ... ]

( She is one of the few that I can speak plainly with whom does not grow offended. ) [ There's a pause, off a moment in the words between English and Hindi and Marathi like a flicker of half understood meanings and - ] ( He has a decent punch when I ask him to throw it. )

[ This isn't at all what she regards either of them for, and yet it is completely all of it. It will have to do for now. ]

[ what goes around, come around faster and harder. ]

( She tends to be like that, doesn't she. ) [ though if lakshmi is met with no offense in her attempts needle it out of misato, she's doing something patently wrong. he'll have to show her just how it's done. ]

( I see. ) [ said in a manner of someone who is 'seeing' more than what they might ought. ] ( Well done, Lakshmi Bai. ) [ said in the manner of someone who is serious about his irreverence. ] ( Do you return the compliment? He looks like someone who needs a good thrashing every once in a while. )

[ cough, cough. ]

[ She should be more upset but - it gets the better of her, as she begins to laugh, low and dark perhaps, but laughter all the same. She is someone ever quick to it. ]

( Bai Saheba if you're going to take that tone over it. ) [ the translation smooth in the symbiote, respected lady. ] ( It is merciful, that she lets me be so plain. Men can be so... fragile at times. ) [ Her own happy dig back.

Though the response, is perhaps, a little more fond than it should be, all things considered for someone trying to feign in ] ( He does, doesn't he? )

[ Which is to say, yes, she did, and oh yes, he did look good being thrashed. The flicker there, of the feeling of having her fist meet something solid, the strike that he blocked, the one she caught in return, palm to elbow, ankles hooked, the juxtaposition that comes as natural to any kind of combat, exposed and covered, wounded and moving. Contemplated instinct. It is to her - a odd sort of satisfaction to connect to something solid when she must deal with so much beyond her own experience. ]

( More fragile than women. )

[ much of human history stretched over the course of millennia is testament to that fact. but what is already understood need not be explained. ]

( Do me a favor, and put me on notice if it matures into something more. I can ignore Rust as he is, but I don't know if I can handle his more intense emotions. You know what they say about men like him. 'A dormant volcano waiting to erupt'. )

Edited 2017-09-25 13:03 (UTC)

[ And oh, if there isn't a better way of getting her to like you, she can't help as woman used to hearing quite the otherwise - ( the brief flicker of a deep male voice, of course you will never be capable quite as much as a man, you but certainly have merit ) - but snicker. ]

( Is that so? ) [ She hovers, a curiosity that sits that which she could play the game - how dare he imply, who does he think she is? But they are the required indignation of a woman still upon a throne, but here she is otherwise, and well and truly past those things. ] ( Should I ever coax the bit from his mouth, I will definitely forewarn you. )

( Ah, it's so. )

[ he likes to think himself a good judge of character, only because being so did not require or demand anything of him personally. the male alto echoes. ]

( Much appreciated. Though I don't think he'd appreciate our referring to him like a horse or a volcano... the symbiote has some uses, right? )

[ She shouldn't really but while she's here - may as well help him out since he certainly helped her. ]

( Some. He certainly dislikes being called 'husband' less. )

[ a quick, receptive laugh. rust's immune sensitivity to nicknames was nothing short of a grecian tragedy. everything about him invited diminutives and petwords, encouraged creativity on part of those with the pleasure of interacting with him. 'mr. holmes' was a verifiable bust.

matter of fact, kaji's unsubtle crack into rust's sexual preferences didn't go over well, either. ]

( Don't lose hope. It's only because he craves a softer touch. ) [ every heard of aftercare, lakshmi? kaji will run this joke into the ground then murder its whole family in cold blood. ] [ Darling, or honey. The word the Japanese use is 'anata' and 'omae'. Only in marriage does the word carry tenderness. Otherwise, it can be in bad taste. )

( He does seem... raw, at times. )

[ To say nothing of herself, but she wasn't fool enough to invite Kaji's opinions on her - she might be willing to wrestle a half-breed, but foolishness is putting her head in it's mouth. ]

( We prefer terms like 'piya', or 'aashiqui' in Hindustan. You do not do it too openly of course, it is meant for a private endearment. )

( Privacy. I like the sound of that. It's in short supply these days. )

[ if it was possible to think a wink into existence... ]

( That's probably what gives him trouble. So, keep him close to you. Closer than your fists. )

( I always do. )

[ She pauses - hovering on a particular topic and she doesn't mean to derail this conversation, it is after all, fascinating to her from a purely scientific point of view. But - ]

( You are... from a time after mine, aren't you? And a Japanese? ) [ Hovers, again on a further understanding. ] ( Like the young Master Shinji? )

Edited 2017-09-27 01:05 (UTC)

( 2015. )

[ no beats were skipped in the making of this segue. ]

( Shinji Ikari, Misato Katsuragi, and Asuka Langley Soryu. They're all from my world. ) [ he knows why she'd mentioned the name she did. it was elena he'd examined for deficiencies, annie who had given him something to worry about until she put swift rest to his wild assumptions. ] ( Shinji and you share a brood together. )

(1850.)

[ A slight lie, but the churn of numbers however that makes it somewhat believable. ]

( We do. Is there something I am missing that I should understand about privacy? He is not the only one but - I find I am not completely comprehending what others to find to be privacy? )

[ 1850. he's no historian, and he can't claim to a thorough precis of the era, but a few events come to his mind -the ansei great earthquakes. the taiping rebellion. the opium war. the indian mutiny.

a turbulent time by anyone's standards. it explains everything. ]

( Hm? Did you do something? )

[ The options are to be tactful to Shinji, or expose her own foolishness to Kaji. But to make any progress, she supposes, she must try at least a little. So there's a terrible deep sigh - a frustration. ]

( A number of things, I suspect, where Master Shinji is concerned. Least among them, stabbing myself to prove a point, which is probably why he detests me so.

But aside from that, he was particular about us all keeping out of each other's heads and that we should just be private. I find myself at odds with it, his likening it to people kissing I suspect, in public. I certainly wouldn't be fawning over anyone outside of my own home, not in England either, they are against even the exposed wrist let along to a hold hand, but he seems utterly disdainful of it at all. Surely a boy his age is finding - oh, servant girls, something? But no matter. Perhaps he hasn't.

So I thought - when Miss Elena was being... intimate... with Master Damon. ) [ Her disgust is both palatable and without deliberate infection. ] ( I thought given his inclination, offering him someone else to talk to while that was happening would be... considerate. He informed me I was in part, gossiping, he wanted no part of it - and that how would I feel if people discussed my intimate acts? I realized I had absolutely no idea because my intimate acts were a matter of state and when I became with child, a widespread celebration, and rather often I would have servants just outside the room, no less.

I did not tell him the last part, of course. I felt... that might be too much. )

[ She, you know, tried. But it's honest, so far as it goes. Out of time and out of step in far too many ways, she's realising the longer and more she interacts. What she took as normal, whether that be living in palaces, or living in brothels - none of it was the same anymore. That knitted little frown because she doesn't take any kind of care about herself that way. She never had. What was the point?

But as she goes - she's sorry, Kaji, but she's on a roll now of 'things Lakshmi Bai does not understand'. ] ( For another matter, Master Shiro seemed quite upset with the notion that I was married at 13. I understand the responsibility of becoming Queen at that age is a great deal. But marriage - ? It is perfectly respectable. In fact, most people here seem terribly upset with the idea of marriage. I did not ask them to cut off their hands, but I might as well have done so for all the upset I caused by doing so. )

[ he had prepared his 'it's not you, it's him' speech only to find himself reversing the pronouns: for once, shinji will be pleased to know he is not lacking in conduct. kaji's true fortune is his cool and composure, or else such lackadaisical talk of statutory rape and stabbing oneself would get the hackles up. he stays mounted and attentive and frustratingly composed. ]

( La- ah, right, Bai Saheba. ) [ he can't help the small, incredulous chuckle, even as he means well. knowing where she hails from manages to deescalate things from 'spectacularly outrageous' to 'mildly startling.' ] ( Sorry, but you're sure giving me a run for my money. Let's start small.

I think you more than anyone wold understand the importance of names. I'm sorry, but you can't call him Master Shinji. The Japanese have a special system of address. Children are referred to in such a way that stresses their youth. Older people are referred to in such a way that stresses their experience.

A boy Shinji's age is beholden to some rules. He should treat others with respect. He should mind his own business, even when other people can't help but advertise theirs in the open. And Shinji-kun, he's the sort of boy who likes to live in the extremes. He wants his privacy because privacy is a right. Speaking of right, I'm afraid he is - people aren't so laissezfaire as they were two hundred years ago. Sex isn't mealtime conversation anymore. Thirteen is too young to be married, especially with someone older. )

[ moral relativism: a go. ] [ We could talk about why, but that's besides the point. It explains the warm reception you've been getting. And, well, I don't know how one proves a point by stabbing oneself, ) [ save the obvious: one finds themselves in the relatable but sorely unfortunate situation of having to commit seppuku in front of a band of worsted spectators. ] ( but you shouldn't have done that. Don't ask me to explain why. But I can't help but be curious. )

Edited 2017-09-27 21:19 (UTC)

[ There's a real stubborn want of someone in her position to simply dismiss - but what would that get them? In much the same position she was in with Damon no doubt, but here - what is she if not a grown woman dealing with a young boy. Who, granted, was nothing like her Anand. Anand was proud, always seeking to be brave for her, to never let her down. He would have been -

It doesn't matter, anymore. She is here and now, and this young man is the one she must deal with. ]

( It was because he seemed to think that politely leaving each other alone is a way to deal with our new found connection. I could tell him that there would be times that no amount of politeness will stop the feelings we obtain from each other, but I had a feeling that he would not listen.

So I showed him instead. It was mild. Simply put it into my hand. Nothing more serious than what might happen sparring. )

[ She does and she is, and there is no in between. No different a step between throwing herself down to her knees with her blade in front of Sam and asking for death - no less a measure than deciding that simply stopping England in India was not enough than burning down the whole Empire and deciding to fight for an eternity if need be. She did it - she would always just do it, and like this, right now, she lays it out like chess board pieces.

No different now. Her eyes down as she thinks where she's working. Focusing, processing. She is not a complicated creature, she never had been. She wanted to protect, she wanted to serve her people well, and she always took the time, for all her faults otherwise, to listen if she could. She did not always do those things well, but she would try regardless. Anything else was too great a sin otherwise.

Well, at least where vampires weren't concerned. ]

( You are right, names are important. In Hindi we take names differently again. I referred to the English simply because I thought it might be more... plain to others.

How should he be referred too then? )

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sticks this after all her other fuck ups with shinji

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