Asuka Langley Soryu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redheadcarrier) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
station722017-10-31 04:33 pm
redheadcarrier) wrote in station722017-10-31 04:33 pm
[closed] Play Nice
CHARACTERS: Asuka, Lakshmi
WHERE: The camp, en route to the next stop.
SUMMARY: Asuka hears about Lakshmi doting on Shinji through the rumor-mill. She's not thrilled.
WARNINGS: Brattiness.
The last few days have felt dream-like. Almost a blur. After the funeral, she's been going through the motions, trying to pick up the pieces and pull herself together for the sake of the mission. She's had help and for once (for once), it's help that matters. Help that she can almost accept, even if there's that little voice that keeps whispering to her that she should stop, that she should shove them all away, that she's weak and useless and that they'll all realize this eventually, so it's better to leave them behind now. It's an inching, halting progress, trying to drag herself out of the hole she was in in the first place. And then the other hole that's been blasted in her by the death of her broodmate and the unconsciousness of the other.
But she's managed. Even if she's felt like she's been on autopilot and particularly snappish to anyone who she feels has trespassed on her personal space without being asked. Not that she cares about the latter part. If people don't like her attitude, to Hell with them. Well, that's her external attitude. As always, the inner voice has different thoughts, whic she tries to fight down. She's... not quite as surly as she could be, but she's still not in the best of moods. Not that she's ever been since she arrived - still there have been times when she's shone brighter and now isn't one of them. Especially since she's been hearing about someone she considers... well.
Not hers, exactly, but someone she wants desperately to trust, even if half of her wants to run screaming in the other direction.
It's evening and she's feeling a bit tired and maybe a bit crankier than usual. As she expects, she finds Lakshmi in her room on board the strange flying ship they're all piling into. She's sewing and Asuka - Asuka has considered taking it up for lack of anything better to do that isn't training with Shepard or being bored. But she's not here to ask about that. Instead, she has to ask about something else. A certain visit that may or may not have happened and that she wants to find out about. She tugs her head covering off once the door is safely closed behind her and she settles her hands on her hips, arms akimbo, so she can watch Lakshmi for a moment before she flops down onto the bed dramatically, as only a teenager truly can.
She could launch right into this, but there's a certain reluctance to just start screaming at her. Instead she pillows her chin on her hands and watches Lakshmi works for a few moments, expression thoughtful, with just a hint of a downward tug that slowly begins to deepen into a frown.
WHERE: The camp, en route to the next stop.
SUMMARY: Asuka hears about Lakshmi doting on Shinji through the rumor-mill. She's not thrilled.
WARNINGS: Brattiness.
The last few days have felt dream-like. Almost a blur. After the funeral, she's been going through the motions, trying to pick up the pieces and pull herself together for the sake of the mission. She's had help and for once (for once), it's help that matters. Help that she can almost accept, even if there's that little voice that keeps whispering to her that she should stop, that she should shove them all away, that she's weak and useless and that they'll all realize this eventually, so it's better to leave them behind now. It's an inching, halting progress, trying to drag herself out of the hole she was in in the first place. And then the other hole that's been blasted in her by the death of her broodmate and the unconsciousness of the other.
But she's managed. Even if she's felt like she's been on autopilot and particularly snappish to anyone who she feels has trespassed on her personal space without being asked. Not that she cares about the latter part. If people don't like her attitude, to Hell with them. Well, that's her external attitude. As always, the inner voice has different thoughts, whic she tries to fight down. She's... not quite as surly as she could be, but she's still not in the best of moods. Not that she's ever been since she arrived - still there have been times when she's shone brighter and now isn't one of them. Especially since she's been hearing about someone she considers... well.
Not hers, exactly, but someone she wants desperately to trust, even if half of her wants to run screaming in the other direction.
It's evening and she's feeling a bit tired and maybe a bit crankier than usual. As she expects, she finds Lakshmi in her room on board the strange flying ship they're all piling into. She's sewing and Asuka - Asuka has considered taking it up for lack of anything better to do that isn't training with Shepard or being bored. But she's not here to ask about that. Instead, she has to ask about something else. A certain visit that may or may not have happened and that she wants to find out about. She tugs her head covering off once the door is safely closed behind her and she settles her hands on her hips, arms akimbo, so she can watch Lakshmi for a moment before she flops down onto the bed dramatically, as only a teenager truly can.
She could launch right into this, but there's a certain reluctance to just start screaming at her. Instead she pillows her chin on her hands and watches Lakshmi works for a few moments, expression thoughtful, with just a hint of a downward tug that slowly begins to deepen into a frown.
"I heard you brought some food over to Ikari the other day."
It isn't quite an accusation. But it's close. She hasn't really made a secret of her distaste for Shinji (and, at the same time, her attempts to try to get him to stop acting like this was the same as "home" hint at some rather more confused feelings). So maybe this conversation shouldn't be too much of a surprise.
"What's up with that?"
no subject
A request more so than an order, and after giving it, she turns to reach for a cup of water, bringing it up to drink slowly as she takes the time to form the words she wants.
"I will give my time to those who want my time. He does not want it, particularly. I hurt him. I did not mean to do it so severely. That is unacceptable to me, so I went to make reparations. Do you understand that difference?"
no subject
"...I understand," she says and it's quiet, almost surly, "But he still doesn't deserve it."
She forgave Shinji Ikari. She still doesn't like him.
At least her fears of having someone else stolen away from her seem to have settled, if only a little.
no subject
"No, I suppose he doesn't."
It's quiet, a pause when she turns the angle of her hand to keep the path for the stitches smooth. Little by little it starts to take shape, of peacock feathers branching out in a fanned shape. "But we are as good as we choose to be, as we choose to act."
no subject
"And he always chooses to act like a coward. So what?"
She's still getting a dig in while she can.
no subject
Simple, simple as that and perhaps it isn't, but it does not matter how they are connected, it will not dictate what she will do. Or how she will behave.
"Have I ever given you a reason to think otherwise about what he means to me, what you mean to me? Have I not shown my care for you? I simply chose not to be petty."
no subject
"Something always happens. Something always takes it away."
"It" isn't defined. She's not diving into that. Yet.