![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
it slows down;
CHARACTERS: Bucky, you!
WHERE: The Red Coast!
WHEN: Day 026 morning and evening
SUMMARY: the bucket wakes up from his long nap
WARNINGS: mentions of violence, etc
[For Sam]
[Where there was once silence on Bucky’s end of the link, a slow, piercing scream takes its place. The shriek cuts in and out like static on a bad radio, but soon becomes steady and constant. Accompanied by gusting snow and biting wind, the noise grows and doubles before falling into disorganized static once more. Silence threatens to take hold, to swallow up all the discordant pieces. The brush of fir and pine sweep through the snow, but do little to provide structure to the quickly tumbling sections of awareness.
What’s happening? he doesn’t think out loud, but for some reason he doesn’t think he has to speak out loud. His lips are numb, dry, and stuck shut. He can’t seem to get them to move. Or perhaps they aren’t his lips after all.
His body is off balance, he considers. One side is heavier than the other, but he doesn’t know why.
Or who he is.
Who… who is he? Why does he feel like he’s drowning?]
[OTA; day]
[Bucky is never far from Sam, that much has not changed, but Bucky is quieter than before. Not only does the change in scenery make his head hurt, but there’s still too many missing pieces of his head right now. Still, he wants to check in on those he speaks with the most, even if that conversation might be one-sided. Being up and about also eases the bone-deep unease that he could fall asleep again at any instant.]
[OTA; evening]
By the evening, Bucky has remembered most of the events of the mission, at least those he was awake for. So the quiet, if dazed, friendliness of before has dimmed into something much sharper. He takes up a location near the edges of the camp and watches his fellow Nestmates which a great deal more apprehension. However, he at least has taken a stationary position, to watch over his broodmate’s tent.]
WHERE: The Red Coast!
WHEN: Day 026 morning and evening
SUMMARY: the bucket wakes up from his long nap
WARNINGS: mentions of violence, etc
[For Sam]
[Where there was once silence on Bucky’s end of the link, a slow, piercing scream takes its place. The shriek cuts in and out like static on a bad radio, but soon becomes steady and constant. Accompanied by gusting snow and biting wind, the noise grows and doubles before falling into disorganized static once more. Silence threatens to take hold, to swallow up all the discordant pieces. The brush of fir and pine sweep through the snow, but do little to provide structure to the quickly tumbling sections of awareness.
What’s happening? he doesn’t think out loud, but for some reason he doesn’t think he has to speak out loud. His lips are numb, dry, and stuck shut. He can’t seem to get them to move. Or perhaps they aren’t his lips after all.
His body is off balance, he considers. One side is heavier than the other, but he doesn’t know why.
Or who he is.
Who… who is he? Why does he feel like he’s drowning?]
[OTA; day]
[Bucky is never far from Sam, that much has not changed, but Bucky is quieter than before. Not only does the change in scenery make his head hurt, but there’s still too many missing pieces of his head right now. Still, he wants to check in on those he speaks with the most, even if that conversation might be one-sided. Being up and about also eases the bone-deep unease that he could fall asleep again at any instant.]
[OTA; evening]
By the evening, Bucky has remembered most of the events of the mission, at least those he was awake for. So the quiet, if dazed, friendliness of before has dimmed into something much sharper. He takes up a location near the edges of the camp and watches his fellow Nestmates which a great deal more apprehension. However, he at least has taken a stationary position, to watch over his broodmate’s tent.]
no subject
He doesn't mind the contact at his shoulder. On the contrary, the hand helps anchor him.]
( Party? )
no subject
[He hadn't really taken part in most of it. Just the hot springs, but uh. What happened there probably doesn't need to be spread around. As... much as you can keep your private activities private in this place.]
[His hand stays at Bucky's shoulder. Though his weight leans slightly more against him.]
no subject
There's one more pressing question, but he's not sure how to phrase it.]
( Anything else about... Lavellan? )
[He's not sure how matters ended, considering how abruptly he and Sam left the funeral proceedings and Bucky's sleep didn't help either.]
no subject
[It never really ended neatly. Did it. It was still there, lurking at the back of his mind. Like a storm threatening to brew again.]
[One hand slips away, dipping into a fold of clothing, fingers curling around a round bit of metal -- ridged along the edges. Something he'd picked up from the craftspeople around here.]
(No one sees anything wrong with what happened. Just an autopsy, to them.)
no subject
There was no reason to dig through Lavellan's skull, for any reason.
The hollow in Bucky's chest burns at the thought of Sam or Shiro asleep like he was, vulnerable to whatever their Nestmates might consider in the best interest of the whole.]
( And you? ) [Last he remembered, he and Shiro were on the same page about Lavellan, but last he remembered they were in the desert. It doesn't hurt to make sure his memories are true.]
no subject
[His fingers tighten. Release. A slow pattern along the edges of the little metal disc. And you? flickers a few times in his head, pulsing like it has its own heartbeat.]
(I'm tired.)
[It's weird that it comes out so easily. How simply he can say that to Bucky, if no one else. He's... tired of this mission, of this place. Of all this politics and secrecy, of the confines of these disguises. Tired of living with the feeling of green lightning skittering down his spine, with nothing to anchor it.]
(I'm... really tired of fighting with people I'm supposed to be working with. Supporting.) [He shakes his head, weight listing sideways into Bucky's shoulder again.] (Sam, Pidge, Elena... you... feel like the few people I've got left to count on.)
no subject
Shiro's sentiment is familiar, too. Sam expressed something similar and, the more memories that return, the more Bucky feels that he's had the same experience. There's nothing really to say in response, nothing Bucky can find to somehow ease those worries, so he simply holds Shiro a bit tighter.
He's back. He's awake. So is Sam.]
no subject
[So grateful he's awake. So grateful there isn't another hole in his chest where someone else used to be.]
[He takes a deep breath. Slowly. Steadily.]
(It's really good to see you again.)
no subject
He's not sure he's ever had that in his life.
At least not the parts he can remember right now.]
( You too. )
no subject
[So he doesn't bother saying it. Just leans into him. Holds onto him. Gratitude and affection wrapped together in something he doesn't know how to name. He... cares about this person, about this man.]
[More than he thought he did, until Bucky came back.]
[He doesn't say anything, then. Maybe they don't need to. Maybe they can just sit like this for a while and be glad to see each other. That something went right.]
[Just once.]
no subject