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[sizeofyourbaggage]

CHARACTERS: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson
WHERE: Subspace
WHEN: Day :011
SUMMARY: tracking down two not quite friends who may or may not want anything to do with him
WARNINGS: will update as needed!


It’s not that Sam’s been avoiding Steve or Barnes, not really. It’s just that neither of them have really been around the Bearings much, and Sam hasn’t gone looking for them when he didn’t run into them.

If it was just that Steve didn’t remember him or was from a time before ever meeting him or whatever it was, or just that being in the same brood as Barnes meant they were connected in a way that Sam should have found ironic, given how long he spent looking for the guy - well, if it was just one of those, Sam might have ignored it and kept right on going like he had before he got here.

But with the double whammy, he kind of figured maybe all of them needed at least a few days to adjust. Before he started shoving himself into a place where he might not be welcome, but he sure as hell knew he wasn’t going to be able to stay away from. He figured they were together, and at least they could keep an eye on each other.

Of course, that was before he heard about the crimes being pinged by their IDs, and before the bomb went off and things started escalating. He doesn’t really have anything sorted out yet, but he doesn’t think twice before tracking them down. He’s been through too much with Steve to know how not to try to be his friend, and he’s done too much to try to keep Barnes safe to give up now.

He raps on the door when he gets there, doing his best to keep a handle on his emotions but leave himself open enough that they can pick up that it’s him.

“Barnes, Rogers, you in there?”

Comments

[bracchium]

Bucky watches Steve for a moment before he turns back to Sam. We makes it sound like there's not a gulf of time separating them, like they're just reckless kids on the block, not a killing machine and a guy seventy years in thr past. It should 't make him nervous, that we, but it does. Steve's chained himself to a nuke and already given up so much for him, cloistered himself with a killer for no reason other than a distant echo of a friendship Bucky doesn't remember.

Running and hiding sounds damn good right about now, despite Sam's words and despite Bucharest. Cooping up in the foxhole hasn't helped the buzzing in his head or the sense of inevitable dread hanging over him, but at least he isn't surrounded by innocent bystanders.

He sucks in a breath, the link between him and Sam humming gently with the burgeoning trust.

"And if it doesn't work?" He poses the question to the group, despite looking only at Sam.

If I become the Soldier again? If I become a monster? They need a contingency plan, a Dead Hand to assure his destruction if he becomes a risk.

[decommission]

I can do the best I've got. He meets Sam's gaze when it briefly finds him, conflicted at the notion of this shared burden all of a sudden. If there were any other options -

"We'll find something that works."

That's all there is to it. He doesn't follow the implication in Bucky's words, wouldn't want to. No matter how much has changed this is still his friend, not a bad-tempered animal that might need putting down.

[sizeofyourbaggage]

It's a little bit scary, that fragile trust that Sam can feel stretched between him and Barnes. Honestly, it's scarier than holding Barnes's gaze as he talks about becoming a killer again - but then, Sam's never really been afraid of Barnes, not really. He's had what he thinks is a very healthy level of wariness and caution, yeah, but if he'd been afraid of him Sam'd never have let him sit at his back in the ridiculous car, wouldn't have sassed the hell out of him.

And he doesn't want to do anything to potentially disrupt that trust, because shit if after everything Barnes has been though he's willing to even entertain the notion of trusting Sam, then Sam sure as hell isn't going to take that for granted. But it's that healthy level of caution that has him thinking ’We’ve taken you out more than once before, we can do it again if it comes down to it.’

He doesn’t say it, especially not after Steve’s response, but Sam refuses to feel guilty for it. He’ll do damn near anything to try to prevent it from happening, to protect Barnes, but he's still gonna be practical about it.

"There's always something that works."

It’s genuine, at least, and the fact that Sam honestly believes that bleeds through pretty damn heavy. If there's one thing he learned on his own journey and trying to help others through theirs, it's that there's always hope. He can feel Steve's conflicted feelings, though, and he fixes both of them with a steady gaze.

"I signed on for this, you know." He makes a little face at himself. "All right, no, I guess neither of you really know that, but I did. And if you don't want me around, that's one thing, but I'm not going anywhere just because things got complicated. It ain't in me to give up when shit gets rough.”