station72 | mental link

Yeah, I should be okay. Right now at least.

[ She leans back, settling herself because - she is easy about this. The glass in hand, she rests her hip against the counter, tucking one arm across her chest, hooking it into the crux of her elbow where she bends up to sip at the glass, watching him. Then down at the cup so it wasn't quite so direct.

Pulls it away again, shrugging. Doing her best to be comfortable and open. ] But sure. What can I help you with?

Great, great.

[ He feels sort of bad about the way she says "right now", as if she's not okay sometimes and he's just monopolizing her 'okay' time, but he keeps plowing forward anyway. Moving over, he starts to get himself a glass of water. Not because he's actually thirsty, but so it looks less like he cornered her to ask her a question and more like he has an actual reason to be here. ]

You said you're good at talking to people mentally, right? You have experience? I was just wondering if it's possible to, like... control how much people see. Or feel, or whatever. Especially with your, uh, [ air quotes ] "special friends". [ Broodmates. ] Are you able to do that with yours?

[ There's a nod, agreeing, mostly. ] I'm not Cathaway or Prince, but there's a lot of my siren abilities that definitely lend themselves to the symbiote connection. Cathaway has been teaching me too. She's probably the best person to ask if there is anything particular you want to know.

[ Wets her lips, settles herself back. ] I found two different ways, one of them is the one Cathaway taught me, but that's in particular because Aoba and Petre - [ catches herself, swallows down, Petre, now. Aoba is gone. Her eyes lower and she presses on with the correction. ] Petre can be destructive when he likes to, and it serves us both better if I can keep my head to help him keep his. [ In fact, he's the only person here that she thinks would be happier on Pandora. ] But it's pretty absolute, they won't know anything and you have to focus on it.

The other I tend to use most of the time, it's how I use the rest of my abilities. It's a little trickier. I moderate myself, but it really requires you to know what your emotions are, and be aware of your thoughts and how you think. What emotion causes what thought. [ Which he didn't seem... the best at that, but she is most definitely keeping that to herself. Best to be encouraging when he's trying to learn. ] It's more about diverting attention, sort of like - the left hand doesn't know what the right one is doing, sort of thing.

[ Regulating emotions, what's that. He frowns at that, clearly displeased that there isn't a no-effort way. It's not like she's blasting thoughts and feelings at him, though — which he's pretty sure he's doing to everyone else half the time — so she clearly knows what she's talking about, and he clearly doesn't. He pretends he can't reply because he's drinking, but he's actually just taking a drink of water to stall for time; it's embarrassing to have to say I'm really really bad at that, so he wants to think of a better way to say it without... saying it. Finally: ]

So, um... walk me through that second option a little more?

[ She sets the glass down, out of her way, smiling at him comfortable and she waves him closer then. ] Sure, we can do that.

[ Offers up her own hand, relaxed, comfortable, whenever he wanted to take it, Cathaway had shown her how to do these things and she did it now. Comfortable and easy, like this isn't a big deal at all. ] So it's about really paying attention. It can be hard to start with, I know, I certainly didn't get the hang of it straight away - [ old memories, and she doesn't dwell. ] - but have you been practising tuning others out like I showed you?

[ An encouraging, hopeful look to go with it. The one she's best at giving, at being. ]

Yes, yes, I have. [ Very proud of himself for being a good student, although it's not like it's hard to practice when it's something that he deals with every day. He straightens up as he draws closer, pleased with himself. ] I mean, I still suck at it. But I've been practicing!

[ It doesn't sound as good now that he's said it out loud, but whatever. Paying attention is hardly his strong suit, but he tries to hold his focus, listen to what she's saying. He already feels the urge to let his mind wander, but every day he's part of this, he realizes how much more important it actually is to have at least a modicum of control over what he shares. His thoughts have already gotten him in trouble too many times.

He isn't sure whether or not she actually means for him to take her hand, so he points at it questioningly, noncommittal enough that he can pretend he's just scratching an itch or something if he ends up awkwardly wrong. ]

[ and her smile is nothing but earnestly encouraging and pleased, comes across the link as much. She is pleased, she likes being useful and likes that she could be to him. Helping others - it made it all worth it. ] That's really good, and you haven't gone crazy yet, so I think that means you're doing pretty alright so far.

[ And there's a nod, offering her hand up, close to his and it comes with the offer. Not for her to pry into his mind, but he into hers which ah - speak before doing Angel, this isn't Pandora anymore, can't just make choices for other people in their best interest. Clears her throat, continuing on. ] If you like, I'll let you into my mind, so you can see what I do with mine, guide you through it rather than just... telling you some vague concept without context. It's not a problem for me, so don't worry about being rude.

[ You haven't gone crazy yet. That doesn't sound like much of an achievement, but the way she says it sounds encouraging anyway, so he decides to focus more on the tone than the actual words. When she says don't worry about being rude, he presses his lips together tightly to avoid smiling. That's cute, she thinks being rude is a high-priority worry. Of all the things about this situation that are concerning, the possibility that he might be rude is one of the least important ones. It feels like a lot more could go wrong when in someone else's mind, but it's sort of flattering she thinks he's that thoughtful, at least.

He takes her hand a little hesitantly, somewhat uncertain (as he always is when weird mind things are happening). He's not getting much better at these things on his own, and Angel — while he feels a bit awkward in her presence, being reminded of what happened with Jack every time he looks at her, that little picture of her on his desk — is the only person he feels even a little comfortable talking to about the mental side of things, so he pushes that uncertainty down. ]

Okay, yeah, thanks. That would be helpful. I mean, I think, I've never really been in someone else's mind before.

[ She lets his hand settle against her own before she curls her fingers around his. Soft, there's no work to make them harsh. Particular little hum to it as if she were putting to memory how his felt different to her own or others she's brushed against. The collections she makes of people - his eyes are this colour, his hands settle broader over her own and he has got to be one of the most awkward people she's met so far. Rhys, sets the details aside like slotting it away in a filing cabinet. Contemplate it later.

For now, she steps to a comfortable distance and wills her own calm, her own quiet. Soft wind chimes in the distance as she broadens herself. Breezily, comfortable: ] Well, it's probably better than going into a CL4P-TP unit. They're a nightmare to work inside of.

[ She shuts her eyes, rolls her shoulders back and why she reaches for touch, to make them close, make the connection easy without pushing too hard. Doesn't need him anymore jumpy. ] Deep breath for me okay? Then just, reach out for me like I showed you.

[ There, just waiting. ]

[ She's very tranquil. Completely different from him. It's oddly calming, though; an advantage of being someone who feeds off people around him so much. It's usually in a negative way, arguing for argument's sake, escalating situations that could have been defused, but today, it's not. He's still apprehensive, but his mind quiets a bit. It hasn't done that since he got here. It's nice. He looks amused by the CL4P-TP comment for a moment, then settles. ]

Okay. [ He's not very good at this, not the way she seems to be. For a second, he doesn't do anything, just looks at her. Her eyes are closed, so he figures maybe his should be, too. There's an urge to make a stupid joke to lighten his awkwardness, but he forces it down, knowing it'll probably make him seem more awkward than less. He takes a deep breath like she says, feeling a little stupid, then reaches out. ]

[ She waits by some mental door like he's an expected visitor as he reaches out for her - and it swings open as easy when he comes knocking. A simple let in, and -- to him at least, what her mind is shaped to should be familiar.

It is the ordered halls of Hyperion, it is the high walls of vaults she has never been too. It ebbs with purple light and it echoes with chatter of the hundred ways she connects herself to the hive, to the machines, to the older empty stones of something she does not know, never understood, but dictated this all somehow she imagines. It's ordered, and she is aware of it all. Every path, every flicker, she is comfortable in it its teeming. Ever expanding as a mind does but - ]

( Here, come with me. )

[ Leads him, fingers around his, the markings glowing bright and white on her body, out from under her clothes. Control of that too: reality is nothing solid is the realisation her mind comes with. It is an easily distorted, wonderous, twisted thing, this here too - and that knowledge is not that is it terrifying just that is what it is, a stab of not so much arrogance but power, not a vaguely manipulated thing, but true, utter, the strength of women who came before, will come after, whose bodies are not bodies but are raw and crackled like storms do and they laugh with a mouthful of fire - ever fought a siren before?

Leads him with all of it - lets him lean into her, warm and open, here at least, she is in complete control where externally she feels too often her own short-comings. ]

( Tell me if it is too much. )

[ There's something both unsettling and comforting about her mindscape being so familiar. Every second within the Nest has been completely unfamiliar, both in physical setting and feeling — it's one thing to be somewhere new and strange, another thing to be there while feeling the presence of everyone else there and knowing they can reach into his mind — so it's nice, in a way, for there to be something well-known, even if it isn't solid. It's foreign at the same time, uncannily similar to what he knows but not quite right, not with the knowledge that it isn't reality.

Still, it's easier than something completely unknown, even if he's somewhat uncomfortable. ] ( It's not too much. ) [ She knows what she's doing, it seems, or is at least good at pretending she does. He's fully okay with allowing himself to be led, mostly because he doesn't know any other way to do it. ]

( Weird, though, it's weird, right? )

[ She stifles a giggle, the mental feeling of an eyebrow being raised at him. ]

( Weird? You've... been to Pandora, right? )

[ It's a teasing jab. It's no weirder than anything she's ever seen. Maybe just different is probably better. ]

( I'll tell you about the time Jack... digitally constructed his vault hunters into CL4P-TP's code some time. That was a nightmare. I thought Athena was going to murder him right then when he suggested it. )

[ Idle chatter, because this is clearly the time for small talk, but he didn't seem to mind it so much - which she was happy enough to give it. Liked just talking for the sake of it sometimes. ]

[ It's definitely weird to hear her talk about Jack. Not uncomfortable or bad, just... weird. He's been uncertain if they're just supposed to pretend they don't have the Jack connection or not; he doesn't have a problem with talking about it, but Jack never kept him locked in a room all his life. She's idle about it, though, like it isn't a big deal to her. Maybe it isn't. ]

( Oh, hey. You know Athena? She kind of always looks like she's going to murder someone. Right? )

[ And she probably is always about to murder someone, honestly. ]

( She really didn't like Jack. )

( I know all the vault hunters. You're looking at the person that found and recruited them all. )

[ In the end, whether she's comfortable with it or not, making up for it as much as she can, it was most of her life - the vaults, Jack, Pandora. Pretending it didn't happen wouldn't change what she was, in the end. ]

( She really didn't. She was pretty disgusted with him, in the end. Refused to work for him again after... after what he did to the CL4P-TP units. )

( Weird. )

[ Athena doesn't strike him as the type to get worked up about robo-rights of all things. (But then again, it's not like he knows her that well. He's not sure he wants to, either. She's very intense.) He doesn't feel like prying, though, because he's literally already prying into her mind. Speaking of: ]

( Nice place you got here. )

[ It's here and - not here, but there's the feeling of looking up and around, at this carved space. ]

( Thank-you. Guess you could say I really put my mind too it. ) [ haha, she's so funny. ] ( Guess you've seen it all before, in some form or another? )

[ Haha. Cute. She has a very calming demeanor to her; she's probably the only person who would get a "haha, cute" reaction to her words from him, most everyone else is very much... not "haha, cute." She's right, he has seen it, at least in a way. It's less solid, less real, but he knows it. He's been here. ]

( Have you ever actually been to Helios? )

[ This seems like it would be an automatic 'no' considering what he knows of her life, but she has it down so well. ]

[ Shakes her head, no - hasn't really seen any of it herself so much. But that's a given. ]

( I know every corner of it, I was integrated into thousands of its systems. The same with Pandora and Elpis. There was very little I wasn't, in the end. But I've never actually set foot on any of it, so to speak. )

[ Which is a horrifying amount of power, when thought about. In her mind, it's felt rather than said. She had been powerful, one thought of hers, one flick of her powers - and millions of people stopped having air to breath. ]

[ He wonders, idly, if she was ever "there" while he was actually there. Probably — it's somewhat disconcerting to know there was something happening right under all of their noses and no one suspected a thing. He could say he's sorry her dad locked her up like that, but there's no good way to say that. Well, there is, he just can't think of one.

Instead: ] ( God, what an asshole. Jack, Jack's the asshole I'm referring to. Not that you were really missing out on anything on Pandora, that's a trash-heap. Helios, though, it's pretty much a crime that he kept you away from the tacos in the cafeteria. ) [ He's trying to be lighthearted about it! The only other option is to actually seriously express things, and he'd rather not do that ever. ] ( It was actually pretty nice up there. I mean, now... not so much, but. Before. )

[ What on Pandora had happened to Helios that it wouldn't be nice anymore? Well - she'd ask another time. Giggles then, ducking her head because - probably isn't comfortable, knowing she was there. ]

( Do the people from accounting still fight over who gets to be first in line? )

( Um. ) [ This is awkward. She can probably feel his hesitance to answer. He briefly wonders if he should lie, be like, they sure do!!!, but she'd probably be able to tell. Noncommittally: ] ( Not... really? )

( Oh... )

[ and she seems to deflate with it. Sad, and out of touch in a way that prickles like vertigo. She had known every inch of Helios, all their little habits, odd little quirks. Maybe not as well as Pandora, or at least not as long. But still...

( well, I guess things can't stay the same forever. )

mental link - :018

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