mental link | day :020

[adamance]

[If Lexa had a choice, she would call for all of the Hosts to come meet her in the common area. But she hasn't had conversations with all of them, and she knows some of them will prove to be difficult when it comes to listening. One of them likely includes Rhys, who's her own broodmate. Then again, she likely brought that on herself by expecting him to ever be reasonable.

Just the same, she reaches out in the evening of the nineteenth day, believing that most of the Hosts will hear her. She only hopes that she's correct.]

( For those of you who I haven't formally introduced myself to, my name is Lexa. I don't like this means of communication much either, but it will prove necessary moving forward. We have been asked to at least grow comfortable with these ties so that we're more effective. I know that's a lot to ask, and I'm not certain that I'll be able to do that so easily myself. ) [In a way, this is an appeal to an audience. Her conversation with Cathaway before coming to this planet still weighs heavily over her, and she has an idea of which direction she hopes to take. But she'll get there in time.]

( I'm of the belief that all of us have become hopes because we hoped to live. Not all people believe in their survival, but we shed our previous lives to seek protection. But the threat against us remains, and while it might not be obvious or clear, it is that same threat, that same unnamed enemy that opposes us now. They want to prevent this world from reaching singularity, though I don't know why. The support for this anti-synthetic movement has escalated, and I think it would benefit us to seek out the reason why as we plan our future actions. We may be able to prevent some things that are in motion if we look in the right places.

Obviously, one place is Goram Saffit, but he is not the only person behind this. This shift in mindset has changed dramatically since we arrived, and I doubt that we are the cause. ) [Though they very well might be. Things escalated on the previous planet they visited.]

( I ask that we work together to find these things that may have led to this escalation. ) [It's a proposal, but it requires more action than reaction. She hopes it can help them, especially since it might offer them some answers about their enemy.]

( Secondly, after some deliberation, I've decided to share that I have a piece of technology in me that my people call the Flame. It is a device that biologically links in to my system, and offers me complete control while allowing me to speak to the individuals who held the Flame before. While my people believed this to be a spiritual entity, I realize now that it's a means to upload a person's mind and allow it to evolve and continue forward.

After viewing some of the technology of this world, I believe that the Flame could drastically improve their advancement toward singularity. I believe that a group like Mind Life should be able to help proceed in an ethical manner.

The Flame is something that only I can carry in my body because it will kill any other user, but I believe that by replicating it, we can help these people.

I am present in my room should anyone wish to speak without the use of our minds. )

[Yes, Lexa does love giving speeches. She closes the link for now.]

Comments

[adamance]

[Ideally, they won't have to worry about anyone being hurt. Either way.]

I assume he is. He isn't inclined toward fighting, and he isn't ... competent when it comes to handling others. But he is technologically inclined.

[As for being a disaster, it's clear in how she tries to speak of him tactfully that she isn't able to manage it mentally. There's a certain tension there.

No, she doesn't trust Rhys to handle subterfuge particularly well. At all.]

[deployed]

[ Idealistic thoughts like that are Clarke's lot. Or they had been. Bellamy isn't sure if she can muster up the same fierce belief in such things anymore. It would be nice if they could pull off this particular plan without someone's life ending up in peril, but Bellamy isn't holding his breath waiting for that to come to pass. ]

We'll need that. [ Bellamy will, at least. ] We'll have to handle whatever shortcomings are attached to it.

[ There will be no Raven on the other end of a walkie to instruct him. He'll make do with Rhys. ]

Do you know who else is thinking of joining you?

[ Anyone else with promising thoughts, he means. Bellamy talks around the fact, but there's no denying she's more competent at picking up the ebb and flow of the nest, and perhaps at reading people full stop. ]

[adamance]

[In terms of the Nest, most of her read on the pulse of it comes from meeting people individually and getting a read on them. She doesn't like most of the people, but she knows who to trust. She also knows who present a danger while being untrustworthy.

She considers her next words carefully.]

Most of the people who don't fit an infiltration will be going. Some will be fighting. It'll be good that they're there and out of the way. But most of them aren't meant for work like this.

[They aren't scouts and they aren't trained. But that's the fault of the Nest and those who seem to be in charge of it.]

[deployed]

[ Bellamy isn't even sure he fits an infiltration, apart from his singular and disastrous experience in breaking into somewhere highly guard then blending in for days. But when the mission is split like this, with stealth on one side and strength on the other, it doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for decisions. ]

Is it always like this? When they send us places?

[ There's no frame of reference to draw from. Rhys hadn't even been able to tell him how long they'd been doing this before Bellamy had gotten here. It leaves him without enough to make any kind of judgement on what being a part of this nest will mean long-term, when Bellamy can spare a thought for it. ]

[adamance]

That's a question that's better for Carata or Nirad. [There's a pause as she recalls the sometimes strange nature of her conversation with the latter. He had been difficult to follow at best, and eccentric at worse. Neither of these things left the best impression on Lexa. It's not that she disliked him, but she doesn't think he's the best for answers.] More Carata than Nirad. They've been around far longer than me. This is only my second planet.

[Third if they count their home.

She doesn't.]

[deployed]

[ Maybe that's a better way to count than try to tally the days. Rhys had been unable to come up with a number for however long he'd been here, and Bellamy had found that more disheartening than he'd let on at the time. How long would this go on for? How long could he afford to be away?

Not that it mattered. The bargain he'd struck hadn't included a return ticket. ]

I haven't talked to them yet. When I arrived I didn't...

[ He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone. The Darkling had been enough of a distraction, their connection swelling in Bellamy's head. It was a mistake, he knows now. He's already prepared for Lexa to point it out. ]

I'll ask. Maybe before whatever happens is set in motion.

[adamance]

[The chastising never comes. Lexa hates relying on the older hosts, especially when their system of functioning is so removed from what she prefers. They are disorganized and scattered, and they have let go of parts of themselves in order to be efficient.

She doesn't like it. It's exactly what she fears about giving in, about how long they will be at this.]

Their information is useful. [Lexa seeing someone as useful is probably not surprising.] Though they know far less than they should. About everything. It makes me suspicious about both the Enemy we fear and our current situation.

[deployed]

[ Bellamy would have preferred...well, knowing their information is useful helps, but he knows less about these people than he should. Hoping to get information about them from Lexa might be a lost cause in the moment, though. ]

Or they know more than they're telling us.

[ Because of course Bellamy's skeptical. He doesn't see the reasoning behind withholding information, but he doesn't completely rule it out. ]

Do you trust them?

[ It's not a question he's asked yet. He can tell the Darkling doesn't trust anyone, and Clint's a wild card, still an unknown, but Lexa will at least have a measured answer for him. Right now, he'll trust her assessment of who their enemies are. ]

[adamance]

[After receiving what was essentially a lecture in trusting people from Clarke some time ago, she had never expected anyone else from their world to expect her too trust others. Then again, Bellamy doesn't know that she nearly tried to kill Octavia (and this is not a thought that surfaces: Lexa's trust issues are pretty far reaching).

For that reason, her answer should be nothing short of surprising—or will be in time, given that Bellamy will likely come to know her quite well due to their situation.]

I trust few. [It feels important to lay it out plainly.] Any of the Hosts who were here before us aren't among them. Among the other Hosts, there is you—[she doesn't pause on this reveal, though she knows it will be surprising just the same, as she doesn't trust his judgment skills, but she trusts him, and she can separate these two things just like she does with Indra]—and there is Angel. There are others I feel we could rely on if we needed, but I don't believe trust will serve us well here.

[No one has earned their trust. And given the inexperience and the lack of leadership, it seems as if they are determined to work in an endless cycle that can only inspire suspicion and conspiracy.

Among the right people, at least. She's seen how Ilde and Kylo Ren attach themselves to the Nest. Even Angel does the same thing. It worries her, but she believes the situation is meant to inspire that.]

[deployed]

[ Him. It's startling, and Bellamy's momentarily worried that he'll need to acknowledge that revelation substantially. Him and Angel. It's a very short list, but Bellamy's is no better. If he were to need assistance, it would be to her he'd reach first. She's a known quantity. Meanwhile the majority of their nestmates are strange to him, and some he's yet to meet apart from brief touches of their minds. It doesn't count. It's not enough to convince him he could put his life in their hands.

Not that he's so confident in Lexa, but as long as they're here and ostensibly working towards the same goal, he'll take her over anyone else. ]

Angel likes it here. She likes this.

[ He gestures between them, a haphazard illustration of the bond. Which isn't necessarily a mark against her, just an observation of something Bellamy doesn't quite understand about her. The ease with which she welcomes people into her mind is strange to him. ]

I don't think I trust any of them either. Yet. [ Magnanimous, though his trust is hard won these days. ] Some of them don't seem to be very good in groups either. I wouldn't take them with me at home.

[adamance]

She does. Her life before this one was one in which she thought she was an affliction upon that world. Here, she has choice, freedom, and isn't seen as a tool in her mind. [There's a sense that Lexa agrees with a part of that, but not all of it. There is another sense: that she knows Angel quite well. Building bonds is difficult for someone like Lexa. It's not that it can't happen quickly for her. It did for Clarke. But there has to be a conscious choice on her part.]

There are others who are dangerous. Kylo Ren and Ilde are the ones who come to mind. The former is ... weak, overly attached to Cathaway when he previous showed that he could be strong. He may have harmed one of my broodmates. Ilde killed a man just for threatening her on our first mission. She has struggled with understanding that the culture among us here is not her world back home. Her approach to things is defined by that struggle.

[Lexa knows that she is trying, but Ilde is almost inhuman to her at times, trying to bring herself together.]

I believe their broodmates keep them in check. Which is the same for Petre, who is not unlike many of your people in my experience. [Mouthy. Easily impressed by violence. Demanding. Entitled.]

[deployed]

[ Two names. Bellamy holds on to them, though he doesn't have anything to associate them with. She's warning him of a potential pitfall. It's difficult to avoid anyone, as connected as they all are, but he can at least attempt to tread carefully.

If Bellamy's capable of not making poor life choices for any significant amount of time. ]

They're liabilities.

[ Though the idea of harming other members of the brood makes him uneasy. It kicks against some deeply embedded instinct; Bellamy isn't sure whether he's always felt that or whether it's as new as the attachment he's harboring for Clint and the Darkling.

His expression brightens a little at mention of Petre, amused. ]

Petre's not so bad. [ Case and point. ] Is he...part of your brood?

[ Is it ever going to not feel weird to say that? ]

[adamance]

[There is a sense of affirmation that fills her at his conclusion. Yes, they are liabilities. Lexa has tried to guide Ilde, but it is difficult for her to fully grasp her perspective, and it's even harder with Kylo Ren. Before, he had seemed strong, but now he seems weak, dependent, as if he has nothing else to give to the Nest. That he changed her opinion so quickly is surprising, but she supposes that it shouldn't be. None of these people here know true strength.

Though some find ways to show it anyway.]

He's a part of Angel's. I've spoken to him to that end before. He's shown that he can be a liability, but it's one that has to be accepted.

[Angel has lost too much.]