sad space dad had a bad (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shiro2hero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
station722016-09-24 11:45 pm
shiro2hero) wrote in station722016-09-24 11:45 pm
mental link; whichever day is today
[The mental voice is... hesitant. Like he's trying his best to modulate his tone, and not sure if he's speaking too loudly or too softly.]
(This has probably been a long time coming... but I have to admit. I'm not good with people in my head.) [A flicker of regret and flashing images quickly stifled.] (Or at controlling what goes through my mind. Someone here called them flashbacks. Guess that works out.)
(It's a long story.)
[So please don't ask, goes unsaid, but like a lot of things here, it's probably felt.]
(But it's been affecting others here, and for that, I'm sorry. I need to be better at this. So I'm asking for help...)
[So he doesn't accidentally overwhelm the wrong person with the wrong memory. Or panic right in front of someone.]
(And before anyone asks - the answer to 'are you okay' is ... not something I want to talk about right now. Sorry.)
[Wait, wait, crap. How does he close this. There's a flustered feeling before just... the mental image of a closed comm connection. He figures that's as good as anything.]
[For anyone who wants to talk in person, he's hauled himself back up onto the roof, bundled up into an oversized hoodie. Black, of course. Hands shoved into his pockets. Probably being all brooding-looking while inside, he's just wondering what it's like to pilot one of the vehicles he sees zooming around.]
(This has probably been a long time coming... but I have to admit. I'm not good with people in my head.) [A flicker of regret and flashing images quickly stifled.] (Or at controlling what goes through my mind. Someone here called them flashbacks. Guess that works out.)
(It's a long story.)
[So please don't ask, goes unsaid, but like a lot of things here, it's probably felt.]
(But it's been affecting others here, and for that, I'm sorry. I need to be better at this. So I'm asking for help...)
[So he doesn't accidentally overwhelm the wrong person with the wrong memory. Or panic right in front of someone.]
(And before anyone asks - the answer to 'are you okay' is ... not something I want to talk about right now. Sorry.)
[Wait, wait, crap. How does he close this. There's a flustered feeling before just... the mental image of a closed comm connection. He figures that's as good as anything.]
[For anyone who wants to talk in person, he's hauled himself back up onto the roof, bundled up into an oversized hoodie. Black, of course. Hands shoved into his pockets. Probably being all brooding-looking while inside, he's just wondering what it's like to pilot one of the vehicles he sees zooming around.]
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[And so would Matt.]
[This is what he didn't want happening. Didn't want her to see. And god, does he ever try to throttle it down. Try not to remember that few seconds of time -- that moment of terror in a face they both knew -- ]
(I ... don't want lose what I have... I just don't want anyone else to get hurt.)
[Because of me.]
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[ She's... very sincere about this and stupidly open and she thinks she should stop before the whole Hive knows what she thinks and how she feels. ]
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[Her sincerity is -- honestly it's sort of like a freight train. He was going to protest. He was going to say he'd hurt Matt, he'd left Allura and didn't that count as hurting her?]
[But... in the face of that emotion, he can't.]
(No, I don't want to let it happen.)
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[ Emotions are hard, OK? ]
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[And then? Then he'd taken out his panic on a pod and ejected the contents -- a live prisoner -- into space.]
(You really don't think I could... lose control? Even when I don't remember where I am?)
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[Logically, he knows she trusts him like that. But logic doesn't always have a say in emotions. Especially stress. Hearing it out loud -- so to speak -- is more reassuring than he thinks he can actually say.]
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