mental link; whichever day is today

[shiro2hero]

[The mental voice is... hesitant. Like he's trying his best to modulate his tone, and not sure if he's speaking too loudly or too softly.]

(This has probably been a long time coming... but I have to admit. I'm not good with people in my head.) [A flicker of regret and flashing images quickly stifled.] (Or at controlling what goes through my mind. Someone here called them flashbacks. Guess that works out.)

(It's a long story.)

[So please don't ask, goes unsaid, but like a lot of things here, it's probably felt.]

(But it's been affecting others here, and for that, I'm sorry. I need to be better at this. So I'm asking for help...)

[So he doesn't accidentally overwhelm the wrong person with the wrong memory. Or panic right in front of someone.]

(And before anyone asks - the answer to 'are you okay' is ... not something I want to talk about right now. Sorry.)

[Wait, wait, crap. How does he close this. There's a flustered feeling before just... the mental image of a closed comm connection. He figures that's as good as anything.]

[For anyone who wants to talk in person, he's hauled himself back up onto the roof, bundled up into an oversized hoodie. Black, of course. Hands shoved into his pockets. Probably being all brooding-looking while inside, he's just wondering what it's like to pilot one of the vehicles he sees zooming around.]

Comments

[shiro2hero]

... You...? You mean, you... it happens to you?

[The other things Clint said are important. He knows that. But it's the last statement that makes his head snap around like someone pulled a string. Shock and wonder and confusion all rolled up into one unnamed feeling rolling through him like a truck.]

[After thinking he was the only one for so long, it's hard not to react like this, finding not one, but two people going through the same thing.]

[Then he seems to shake it off, in time to answer the question.]

It -- no, I'd help. Of course I'd help. It wouldn't be right not to. [You have to help people you can. That's part of being what he is now. What he was...]

Commit. To the rest of you?

[cognitived]

[ God, but there's something heartbreaking in the way Shiro reacts. An aching bewilderment, a desire to belong, to not be strange, alone, written into the lines of his face. Something inscrutable shifts in the press of his mind, and Clint shifts, inhaling sharply.

It's hard not to react to Shiro, to get caught up in a unending cycle. But Shiro pulls free, and Clint shifts, scrubs a hand through his hair, nods. ]

You're not alone man. [ He acknowledges, something rough caught in the back of his throat. ] I get it, ok? It's rough, feeling on edge all the time, feeling unsure of your own mind.

[ Clint looks up, something solemn and faintly far-away in the gleam of his gaze. Nat's hands unwinding the restraints, the first press of bow, the papers that said he was finally cleared. ]

You want help, you got it. But it takes work. It's been years for me, and I still get blindsided sometimes. [ A huff, not-quite-laughter. ] 'specially here.

[shiro2hero]

[It's true. The wanting to belong, wanting to know someone else feels this way, that it's not wrong, not... abnormal. Honestly, he should learn to shield better, and quickly, because those wanting feelings aren't abating any time soon.]

[Especially when there are reassurances. And his arms fold tighter around himself. Protecting something intangible. A physical wall instead of a mental one.] It... it's not something you see that much of. When you're the only five human beings in the galaxy.

[When you're the only one who's been through a situation like that. The only one who had trouble being real and present sometimes. Easy to feel isolated. Like there's just something fundamentally wrong with you.]

... I'm not afraid of work. I'll do it. [There's a "but" in there. There always is.] But here? I don't know if I have time.