station72 | mental link; whichever day is today

[The mental voice is... hesitant. Like he's trying his best to modulate his tone, and not sure if he's speaking too loudly or too softly.]

(This has probably been a long time coming... but I have to admit. I'm not good with people in my head.) [A flicker of regret and flashing images quickly stifled.] (Or at controlling what goes through my mind. Someone here called them flashbacks. Guess that works out.)

(It's a long story.)

[So please don't ask, goes unsaid, but like a lot of things here, it's probably felt.]

(But it's been affecting others here, and for that, I'm sorry. I need to be better at this. So I'm asking for help...)

[So he doesn't accidentally overwhelm the wrong person with the wrong memory. Or panic right in front of someone.]

(And before anyone asks - the answer to 'are you okay' is ... not something I want to talk about right now. Sorry.)

[Wait, wait, crap. How does he close this. There's a flustered feeling before just... the mental image of a closed comm connection. He figures that's as good as anything.]

[For anyone who wants to talk in person, he's hauled himself back up onto the roof, bundled up into an oversized hoodie. Black, of course. Hands shoved into his pockets. Probably being all brooding-looking while inside, he's just wondering what it's like to pilot one of the vehicles he sees zooming around.]

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[He goes very quiet. Listening to him.]

[Honestly, he doesn't know what to think. People with strange abilities is a new thing, as far as he's concerned. Not sure what to make of it. Or of the power itself.]

[It's... not the first person to offer up memory erasure as an option. And it makes his eyes widen a little. But his brain hurries to supply reasoning to the surprise. Not judgment. No -- surprise. Not bad. It can't be something he controls.]

[And he'd know all about having powers you can't control. Right?]

If you use it to help people... I don't think it's that awful.

[But--] Someone else said they could do the same thing. I don't... I don't know if I could do that yet.

[ Now Aoba goes quiet. His turn for wide, surprised eyes, pale and hazel. One reason for it is pleasant - he's glad to not feel judged.

He knows there are others in the Nest with powers very similar to his, so perhaps he shouldn't be so shocked about that. Psychic abilities that also weren't granted by the symbiote. Multiple offers. ]

Who... if you don't mind me asking, who offered...? It wasn't Petre, was it?

[ His broodmate would be too wreckless with Shiro's mind, as would a few of the others. Even if it's all hypothetical, Shiro would want someone more careful to help, right? ]

[He grimaces. No, if it was that guy, he wouldn't even consider it. The look on his face should probably say everything that needs saying. Even so...]

No. Not him. It's Kylo Ren, he said his name was.

[He has no idea if the guy is well-known or not. But he's got nothing against him. Ren always seemed like a decent individual -- albeit harsh and driven.]

[ Relief crosses him when Shiro confirms it's not his broodmate offering help, but it's brief. Very brief. It's difficult to keep his concern down when that name comes up. ]

Oh. I'm glad it's not Petre, but I... would be careful around him, too. I've only crossed paths with him once in the... six? Months we've both been here.

[ For good reason. Aoba rings his hands, eyes cast downward, growing nervous and angered as he recalls that first day. ]

He... stabbed my consciousness with his own and strangled it like he was trying cause pain, for no apparent reason. He's unpredictable, blunt... that's why I try to stay away from him.

[ That, and because something strange had happened. A feeling of his body moving and mouth speaking beyond his control. He doesn't want that guy to make it happen again. ]

I ran into him when I got here.

[And from his tone, you wouldn't even need to have mind-reading abilities to know it went over about as well as a ton of bricks. To say the least.]

[His expression hardens. He can't help it. These days it's reflex. This protective urge. Out of everything that's happened to him, lately, that's the least of his worries.]

I'm not going to claim I'm very good with this mental communication... but he backed off me fairly quickly.

If he bothers you again, I'll do what I can.

[He means it, too. It doesn't even surprise him to realize it, by now.]

Good. I don't want him hurting anyone else like that, or y-

[ Aoba stops mid-sentence, surprised by Shiro's last one. That's... kind and vague. He'd do what he can? The sentiment seems nice, but Aoba would rather not find out what he means by that. Maybe he made himself sound too paranoid or frightened there. He laughs nervously, but there's certainty in what he says. ]

Heh... thanks? I'm not afraid of him, you know. I can stand up to him if I have to... without using my abilities. But thanks.

[Well.]

[Now there's color across his cheekbones. While he grimaces and glances away.]

Sorry, it's... kind of a reflex at this point. "Someone's in trouble? Go help out".

Heh, it's alright. That's really noble of you. Koujaku was similar in that way too...

[ He trails off, glancing from Shiro to the cityscape again. If Kylo Ren hasn't already sunk his claws in, perhaps he could still help... If he couldn't help Koujaku overcome whatever it was he refused to talk about, maybe he could help Shiro with something that felt similar.

Though - only if that's what Shiro wants. ]

Anyway, I'll uh... leave you be. But please think about what I said, if you'd like to uh... do something like that. It... it wouldn't even be the destruction of your memories, if you wanted to keep everything in tact. More like... destruction of the fear, or whatever it is surrounding those memories, so you can look at what's troubling you with some clarity.

[ Fear was certainly one of the swirling emotions Aoba remembers feeling that one fleeting time. Panic, stress, fear of the unknown. He could try to pinpoint those feelings latched to the blurry memories, destroy them, use his powers for good. That would be good... right? It may still be more to think about than what Shiro needs right now. ]

Ah, I'm rambling again... I should just say goodnight. Forgive me.

"Noble" is, uh. That's one way to put it. Most people say "reckless heroics".

[Most people being literally anyone who knew him for five minutes. So he's a bit flustered by the compliment. The color in his cheeks hasn't faded in the least.]

I'll think about it. If it turns out working through it will take too much time, put too many people at risk... it might be the only option.

[Because that's the real problem here. It's not a matter of wanting an easy way out for his own sake. No, he's more than willing to work his ass off if he has to. But that takes time. It's a luxury the people dragged into his memories might not have.]

[His memories.]

[The apology gets a sort of half-smile, tired and easy.] Nothing to apologize for. Not like you woke me up.

[HAHAHAH, him?? Sleep??? That's hilarious.]

Thanks. For offering -- it didn't seem like it was an easy thing to do.

[ That's weird, is Shiro... blushing? Aoba can't really tell in the dim nighttime light. Maybe it's just his scar. He shouldn't stare.

Whatever it is, he's going a little red himself. ]

Um, well, it's... easier to talk about using my abilities here than it would have been at home. We're all a little different now, thanks to the Nest. So, everyone kind of understands on some level.

[ It's meant to be encouraging. ~~Shiro would dang well know about aliens making their own adjustments now wouldn't he~~. ]

Well, get some rest soon. Goodnight, Shiro.

[ With a small wave and a turn, he pockets his hands in his jacket again and heads back inside. ]

[We're all a little different now...]

[There's a twitch in his shoulders. He turns away, slightly, out toward the city. The color on his cheeks vanishing as suddenly as it came. Fighting not... to broadcast the thoughts bouncing through his head. Waking up and not knowing why part of you was gone. Why it was different. Why the face looking back at you wasn't... yours any longer.]

[He doesn't say any of this out loud. This guy doesn't need it dumped on him.]

Easier said than done, but ... I'll give it a shot.

You too.

mental link; whichever day is today

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