station72 | mental link; whichever day is today

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mental link; whichever day is today

[The mental voice is... hesitant. Like he's trying his best to modulate his tone, and not sure if he's speaking too loudly or too softly.]

(This has probably been a long time coming... but I have to admit. I'm not good with people in my head.) [A flicker of regret and flashing images quickly stifled.] (Or at controlling what goes through my mind. Someone here called them flashbacks. Guess that works out.)

(It's a long story.)

[So please don't ask, goes unsaid, but like a lot of things here, it's probably felt.]

(But it's been affecting others here, and for that, I'm sorry. I need to be better at this. So I'm asking for help...)

[So he doesn't accidentally overwhelm the wrong person with the wrong memory. Or panic right in front of someone.]

(And before anyone asks - the answer to 'are you okay' is ... not something I want to talk about right now. Sorry.)

[Wait, wait, crap. How does he close this. There's a flustered feeling before just... the mental image of a closed comm connection. He figures that's as good as anything.]

[For anyone who wants to talk in person, he's hauled himself back up onto the roof, bundled up into an oversized hoodie. Black, of course. Hands shoved into his pockets. Probably being all brooding-looking while inside, he's just wondering what it's like to pilot one of the vehicles he sees zooming around.]

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( My control has improved significantly. )

[ Her psychic presence is smoky soft, flowery, a brush like a hand on his arm. She has adapted to the symbiote well. She is a Rho, a creature of inner worlds and mental strength over the physical. Her ease and grace with it is demonstrative enough that it can be done. She's only had a month or so longer than Shiro to work at it. ]

( At first, we built gardens together. )

(I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.)

[Then again, maybe something like this would come easier to someone like Allura. Someone more capable and stable in their mind. He's not even sure what his 'power' here is. And part of him doesn't want to.]

[The last 'power' he uncovered, after all, isn't something he's proud of.]

(Literal gardens? I could get behind that.)

( I will show you. )

[ And she opens up the connection, a flower blooming, taking it from the simplicity of words to add the layers of sight, sound, scent. A template of a garden, green grass and stone pathways, but no trees, no flora, not wildlife. That is the task, to begin to fill in the empty spaces. ]

( Together. )

[ An exercise both meditative and practical. ]

(Show--)

[Damn, he should have known better. The things people here can do with their minds is amazing.]

[If he looks around, it's all there. Like... nothing he's seen in a very long time. The closest thing he ever saw was the planet with the sloths. But that had been wild jungle.]

[Kneeling down to run human fingers through the grass.]

(Sorry, I -- it's been a while.)

( I had never seen anything this green, until we came here. )

[ So she understands why it is exciting. She'd had her garden beneath the palace, but that was a strange subterranean place, not quite natural in its growth. She had spent her youth in a scorched wasteland where nothing grew. The gardens of Concordia dazzle he.r. ]

( Steve says it is like painting together. You begin to fill in what you would most like to see in a garden, and we will support the image between us. )

(Never?)

[Not as surprised as he could be. After meeting people who'd never so much as seen the sun before, it's hardly shocking there would be others in similar situations.]

[His fingers in the grass pause, thoughtfully. Debating what to do.]

(Can't say I'm much of an artist...) [Or a gardener. Which is probably why the little blue flower he pops up under his hand is... well. Like a kid's drawing of a flower come to life.]

[He tried.]

[ He did try, and the effort counted for something here. ]

( Then you will have to find your own way to express yourself. Perhaps there is something you will enjoy envisioning more than gardens. Steven and Angel chose that picture because they knew it pleased me. )

[ A butterfly of her own making comes to land on the little flower, detail in its wings. ]

( You are using your mind in a new way, there are new sensations to familiarize yourself with, but it is ultimately still yours. )

[Good, because this is an A-For-Effort level flower right here.]

(That's going to take some work. 'Expressing yourself' wasn't ever high on my training to-do list.)

[But it's not dismissive. He's not one to shy away from work of any kind. As evidenced by the second flower he does his best to bring up. This one red. Another -- yellow. Then green. Pink. Orange. A purpose to the seemingly random colors.]

(Still mine...) [The last one is black. All over.] (That's good to hear.)

( Expressing yourself with purpose will also help you learn how to withhold what you do not wish to share. You must take control. )

[ A flock of birds bursts to life overheard, movement and sound. ]

[His head snaps up, startled briefly, by their sudden appearance. Those awkward flowers of his flicker wildly until his attention snaps back to them.]

[Forcing them to remain in place. No -- stay there.]

(Works both ways, huh?)

( Yes, it is the same 'muscle', if you will. )

[ A muscle none of them had quite realized they had until the symbiote had opened new corridors inside of their minds. ]

(Muscle. I can work with that.)

[Easier to build muscle than... mental walls. In some cases.]

Edited 2016-10-19 06:18 (UTC)

( If you prefer that image, work with it. Find minds that you connect with, perhaps we are a little too different. )

[ They are very much so, even more than just man and woman. ]

(I don't know -- seems like we're doing all right so far.)

( You may connect better with another man. Steven is of my brood, he has practiced containment, and of course you have the Darkling in your own. He can teach you. )

(Why would that be? I mean, not to doubt your suggestion. I'm just wondering why you think so.)

[ She thinks so because she is from a super backwards misogynistic world where any woman with power or agency was tortured to death. ]

( Men and women are very different. My brood is solely men, and it can be difficult. Although our connection provides us much in terms of understanding. )

(I'm sorry, I don't believe that. We're all human... and that means a lot more than it sounds like.)

[Maybe he just has a different idea of men vs women after being around aliens so long. Where there really isn't that kind of line. Honestly, he thinks if Allura and Coran were reversed, things would be exactly the same.]

( Why apologize. Believe what you believe. )

[ She doesn't care, and it doesn't change her opinion either. ]

(You'd be surprised how many people get angry when you don't believe what they believe.)

[ She knows this intellectually, that this is generally the way, but she had lived within the heart of madness a long time. A place where reason did not matter, one had to... keep their own measure of things where they could. A feat of will with the heat of the Godking evaporating every thought. ]

( I care very little for the tantrums others throw. )

[ This is why she is actively fighting both Lexa and Ren at the moment.... Ilde can be so calm and pleasant, but she can also be icy and viperous. It's fine. Don't worry about it. ]

(That's a good stance to take.)

[He means it. There's no empty flattery in the words. He's impressed, and sees nothing wrong with saying so.]

(Probably saves you a lot of headaches.)