mental link; whichever day is today

[shiro2hero]

[The mental voice is... hesitant. Like he's trying his best to modulate his tone, and not sure if he's speaking too loudly or too softly.]

(This has probably been a long time coming... but I have to admit. I'm not good with people in my head.) [A flicker of regret and flashing images quickly stifled.] (Or at controlling what goes through my mind. Someone here called them flashbacks. Guess that works out.)

(It's a long story.)

[So please don't ask, goes unsaid, but like a lot of things here, it's probably felt.]

(But it's been affecting others here, and for that, I'm sorry. I need to be better at this. So I'm asking for help...)

[So he doesn't accidentally overwhelm the wrong person with the wrong memory. Or panic right in front of someone.]

(And before anyone asks - the answer to 'are you okay' is ... not something I want to talk about right now. Sorry.)

[Wait, wait, crap. How does he close this. There's a flustered feeling before just... the mental image of a closed comm connection. He figures that's as good as anything.]

[For anyone who wants to talk in person, he's hauled himself back up onto the roof, bundled up into an oversized hoodie. Black, of course. Hands shoved into his pockets. Probably being all brooding-looking while inside, he's just wondering what it's like to pilot one of the vehicles he sees zooming around.]

Comments

[sizeofyourbaggage]

The clouds are how I shield. It works best if you pick something that means something to you - for me there's nothing I can focus on easier, better, than the clouds below me when I was flying. The important part is to keep visualizing it. The more you practice, the stronger it'll get, and the better you can keep everything else behind it.

[ As for the second part - Sam pulls the coin out of his pocket, twisting it in his fingers to show Shiro the front and back. ]

It's a challenge coin; I got it after my first year as a pararescueman. It's what works best for me, it gives me something to focus on other than what's going on in my head. It's something I know is real, and if I'm busy forcing myself to notice every detail about it, I can't get stuck in the memory. I don't always use the coin - sometimes it's easier to grab for whatever's close by, rock or metal or whatever, hold it hard and keep yourself grounded in reality. [ He pauses, quirking a little smile. ] And yeah, I know it sounds weird. That's what I thought at first, too.

[shiro2hero]

Does it need to be something physical? [Like clouds were. Because there are options there. At least one image he'd already used as a focus before. But now... now there's something else. That memory of everything fitting...]

[Of the Black Lion. He can't think of a better shield than that.]

[Then it's on to the coin, and he tilts his head to look at it more easily.]

It sounds like it could get dangerous, if you grabbed the wrong thing.

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Nah, it can be anything you want. Whatever works for you. The important thing is practicing it, all the time. Even when you think you don't need it right then. S'like anything else, the more you practice, the more natural it is.

[ He holds the coin out, offering it to Shiro so he can take it to get a better look. It's worn in parts that make it obvious that it's well-loved, that Sam's used it often. ]

Grounding can knock you out of a flashback or a panic attack. Regulating your breathing is another good one - there's two techniques I use, square breathing and 7-11 breathing. You just got to make sure you're breathing from your diaphragm, and not your chest. When adrenaline hits and we don't know what to do with it, we start breathing up here- [ He taps the upper part of his chest, near his collarbone, and demonstrates: sharp, quick breaths, the rapid rise and fall of his upper chest, shoulders hitching. ]

And then you get in danger of hyperventilating. Lot of people breathe like this most of the time, just not as extreme, and they don't realize it can be what contributes to stress, but it means it feels weird to breath lower at first. But there's a trick- [ And he demonstrates again, lacing his hands together in front of him and then tucking them behind his head, leaning back a little as if he was that stereotypical 90s business guy relaxing instead of working. The difference is obvious, though, breathing evening out to become slower and deeper. ] Makes it impossible to breathe higher like this.