[backdated to day 44: mental link]

[adamance]

[Withholding information had not been Lexa's goal, but she had wanted to thoroughly research what she could before she brought it to the rest of the Nest. For that reason, Lexa has been busy, but has been careful not to reveal what she has in hand until she's ready. Even as she prepares to speak to the Nest, she's not completely prepared, and there's a sense of agitation over this.

By now, she already knows the results of them following Ven, but they haven't yet received the information they require. Why they didn't take the opportunity is bothersome in and of itself, but there is little that she can change about that. It's about moving forward, and it's not as if she has the fullest degree of faith in the Nest. Nothing changes that.]

( Today, I'd like to speak to you all about the results of our meeting with Mind Life. The conversations we had prior to this meeting with the hacker group that privately contacted us may have been accurate on this front. ) [She deliberates revealing what she told them about their goals, but decides against it: Mind Life's desperation to remain stagnant and inactive is worrisome, to say the least.] ( They have their hearts in the right place, but not their minds. I'd say it's ironic given the name of their organization, but not surprising. They prefer passive communication over action. Their idealism may be worthwhile, but they have little help to offer because they refuse to make a show of any aggression.

As a result, our only boon from them is a list of people who they deem trustworthy. Or untrustworthy. Unsurprisingly, Saffit is on the list of unsavory individuals. She doubts that even the untrustworthy men could be behind the bombings, but we may come to see her perspective as one of denial given her unwillingness to act.

I've done the beginning search into many of the other individuals named, but I cannot be as thorough as any of our technical people. Trust that I will not be handing over this list lightly, and that the contents of it will not be available to everyone in the Nest. I would rather prevent any reactionary behavior as a result of what Sheena Frey chose to write down. ) [If anything, she refuses to share everything on the list with the Nest. She may give names, or an idea of whether or not someone is on the list, but she doesn't want any of the Hosts to set out on a crusade.

Especially when she can barely trust Sheena's judgment.]

Comments

[exhuxperation]

( I understood what you said. You still made mention of keeping information to yourself in order to prevent reactionary results. Not only is this distrust in a higher degree, but the respect and command you've striven to create becomes meaningless. You've announced your intentions here, but now how can I or any of the others believe that you'll give us the whole story next time? I realize this may sound contradictory, but it would be as a result of your blatantly manipulative behavior.

In that vein, I would trust the rest of the brood with my life if this is the path you choose to take. While I do not agree with many of the people here, I respect their opinions and outlooks as any strategist worth their salt would. To directly liken it to a military body– we have small numbers and cannot afford to have anyone in the dark. The head must always be aware of the limbs and vice-versa.

Stepping closer to becoming part of something does not immediately equate losing oneself to it. Having been a commander, you should know this. )

[adamance]

( If anyone is morally offended by me withholding information, then they are foolish to be surprised by it. )

[Her people would expect nothing less of her. She can declare it as a strength, because it is known as a strength. But then, she has shown a tendency of kicking men off buildings to remind them of how little she values their lives.

Being forthright has served her well.]

( But I believe that the guilt you feel over what you've done to that system is blinding you here, General. I won't be on the receiving end of your reparations to the Nest. )

[What had been a trickle of temptation has become more than that, dragged forward so she can wield it like a knife.]

( You are foolish to believe that this situation is anything like what we've come from. ) [She doesn't think he believes it, and it sounds more like she's calling out the lie in what she sees as a morality crusade.

As it is, as someone who believes in giving her mind and body to the next Commander, she knows the difference here. And there is a difference, beginning with one solitary fact: John Murphy and Bellamy Blake aside, these are not her people. They are nothing more than a means to an end, and should they prove to be a burden, then they can be cast aside.]

[exhuxperation]

( This has less to do with morals and more to do with survival and success. Information is key, you know that. If something were so potentially intrinsic to a strategy, I would not have kept it from my troops. A lead is a lead. )

[ Yes, there have been facts that have been withheld in the past because it did not present a threat. It was on a need to know basis. But all else, he saw little reason to keep it from his officers. If they couldn't do their job efficiently due to his lack of given information, then he was the one to take the fall for it. ]

( If you believe this is some kind of motion to make reparations, you're less keen than I thought you to be, Commander. This is about organization and order– two things you know I've already spoken at length with you about. With disorder there is no success, especially when it's a small group.

Accusing me of actions spurred on by guilt is insulting to say the very least. The Nest doesn't have to like me and I don't have to like them, but we're going to have to work together as a cohesive unit. )

[ Had Rey's denouncement stung? Of course. But he's here to work using logic and reason. Tools he's depended on in the past. ]

( Calling me foolish makes you out to be a fool as well. You seem to know so little of strategy if you're taking this course. This is basic, so allow me to spell it out tactically– we do not have large numbers. Possibly half of us come from a background pertaining to military function and the rest could be counted as civilian or even rogue. We're linked mentally and emotionally; on top of this, we all have specialized powers that only some are beginning to understand how to control.

Because of this particular group composition, there is no trimming of weak branches. We don't have that luxury. Everyone has to pull their weight. Everyone has to communicate, whether they like it or not. We are here, stuck with each other, whether we like it or not. So stop acting like you can keep people in the dark without consequence to yourself. )

[adamance]

[None of the information he offers her (or utilizes to condescend to her) is anything she hasn't considered. Lexa had intended to hold this over the head of others, to show that there are results that come when someone complains that this mission doesn't please them, or they haven't done enough to gain the favor of their title-less leaders. There is more, too: they have gained so many new people that it is hard to see how they can really comprehend the full breadth of the situation, and in her opinion, they have done little to consider that.]

( I'm aware of it tactically, General. I'm not naive enough to believe that this unit will work the way it could if we had trained warriors, and there are those among us who offer more risk than reward because of their presence. Any leader has to be able to comprehend necessary losses, and excluding those individuals.

And if they take offense to that, then I'd recommend that they reconsider their prior words and actions. Whenever I have considered using one of them, I have been met with a wall and caution, and someone demanding that I don't. So when I say it openly, I am now assaulted because I don't wish to provide them with intel so that they might act in the very way I've been warned against countless times.

I have been nothing but transparent here. I'm merely meeting condemnation for doing what everyone else has already done, and considering it. Speaking it out loud is a show of strength, rather than cowardice; if someone takes offense to it, then they should know better. )

[Lexa had wanted the unit to communicate better, but she's revised her thinking. Even in her approach to everyone, her "obvious manipulation" has, by her measure of the situation, been a success. She sees her actions in relation to much of everything as a success, and she doesn't see a reason for hiding who she is. Since they are in a hivemind, the opposite argument is this: why hide what can be deemed as a strength, and a willingness to act on it?

That is how she sees things, at any rate.]

[exhuxperation]

( Any leader, Lexa, would know that necessary loss is to be calculated at the beginning before any move. In this case, necessary loss should be low, but your claim of their risk puts that loss percentage higher.

Even if they don't take offense to being left out, I personally take offense to how ridiculous your so-called strategy is. If you've been met with wall and caution, maybe it's been in how you've interacted with them. A commander swallows the criticism and betters themselves from it. Everyone wants something; it would be your job to learn what it is to make it work.

More to the point: you cannot accurately predict how someone will react to anything. People are not mindless machines that act the same exact way every time. To think such a thing makes you seem stubborn and dim.

Speaking out may be a show of a strength, but it is only so when your reasons are not paper thin. Though admittedly, how lucky we are to see your true colors now rather than later when your abominable logic could put us in an unfortunate and easily avoided situation. )

[adamance]

( I've been nothing but a team player, General Hux. It's interesting that you seem to forget what efforts I've utilized to help get this team on the right track because I chose to be act in a way you disagree with just this once. I've done nothing to conceal information from the other Hosts that could harm us.

You may think that what you're performing right now is not reparations, but I find it difficult to believe that your personal feelings aren't involved. It was your reluctance to share your actions back home when they could come to light that decimated any stability within our brood. What this seems like is that you have no room to speak, while I am merely keeping a list, a single list, from the public eye of the Nest until we have cause to turn to it. It's a list based upon unreliable information from a source whose perspective cannot be trusted because she proved herself to be stubborn and blind.

These are not opinions. These are facts. She does not wish to act to stop the bombings, and will not use her resources. As such, we should ask about her perspective, or whether her idealism is worth trusting. I had hoped for her to be a more reliable source of information, and in that I proved to be wrong.

This is why I return to your personal feelings for me. If you are so quick to disrespect me and not consider that I might have my reasons or may have thought everything out that you seem to feel you need to outline to me, then it's apparent that what respect I considered to exist between us never was there in the first place.

And if it's good that anything has come to light, General Hux, it's how quickly you're willing to turn against an ally without considering the context of their perspective. )

[exhuxperation]

( You forget that before Rey even mentioned my history, I was already speaking about creating organization within the group. There was never any reluctance to talk about my past. It simply never came up. Don't put your aggravated feelings about that turn of events on my shoulders.

Withholding the information you have currently is not merely a list. Regardless of your particular call in saying it is unreliable, there is not enough to substantiate your argument. Neither you nor I can see the future and there is no way to know whether the contents and individuals will come to light and be useful in our mission. A simple point of strategy you overlooked– never rule things out completely. Being taken by surprise is embarrassing at least and deadly at worst.

Respect is earned. It can be broken and taken away easily. From your current failed judgments, I clearly put too much faith in your ability to reason.

I considered the context of your perspective and found the logic lacking. Please, stop assuming I don't look before I leap, it's an ugly way to argue. )

[adamance]

( I don't believe I ever said that I wasn't willing to change my mind if more information came to light. I even recall telling you that our current arrangements may shed more light on the information I have.

We are making assumptions about each other at the moment, where you are insisting upon a stubbornness that exists within me that is not there. I am perfectly able to be flexible, but I see no reason to pretend that there aren't chaotic elements in the Nest who would be prone to reactionary behavior. We have been on the receiving end of that behavior already. ) [She was just the other day, and while she had instigated much of that, the end result was still the same: what someone would expect from someone who can add a twist of cruelty to show off his power.]

( I implore you to step back and consider that I have thought this through. You are swift to judge and assume that I have not considered that anything may change by the day. I know about random circumstances. I am merely trying to prevent the ones that I can right now, when we all have aspects of this mission ahead set to complete. )