station72 | Day 10ish

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Day 10ish

(It's high time I did this.)

[Oh no, someone is gearing up for one of Those Speeches. Because one of their new arrivals ticked off a box in his head, and Sam's asking for training helped.]

[And he's tired of walking on eggshells.]

(I don't know how many of you were there when I found out what my Symbiote does. I sort of wish I hadn't. But. I can't change that.)

[Yeah apparently it made him the Space Hulk. And it took at least two people to keep him from ripping someone's face off.]

(What I can do is control it. I just need to know where to start.)

(So I'm taking a lead from Sam Wilson. Asking if anyone is willing to help. I... don't think I can promise no one will get hurt, but if we're careful, maybe it'll just be me.)

[And he can live with that.]

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[ Sam keeps his hurt hidden away, but Aoba can guess. He offers up more reasons, and in his temperamental state he interprets them all as excuses. Except... they're not terrible excuses. ]

So you talk about it behind my back with Shiro and Pidge and... whoever else, trying to figure out what's wrong with me, like I don't have a right to know?

[ Hadn't The Darkling known about this too? He tried to warn him, and Aoba jumped down his throat with accusations of lies and made-up powers capable or altering memories... how could Sam have been sure he wouldn't do the same?

The Darkling... Aoba's attention flickers. He owes The Darkling an apology. Stupid Darkling. ]

That... that was my Rhyme name. I vaguely remember... Ugh! I can't believe I shared all that stuff about my accident with you, and you still didn't tell me!

[ There's a flare of confusion that Sam can't keep at bay at that, but it fades quickly. With the way they'd all piled in here, of course Aoba would assume they'd been talking about him. There, at least, Sam can defend himself - he sure as hell didn't say anything about this to anyone, and he'd done everything he could to try to keep this private. ]

( I didn't talk about it with anyone. I just waited to see if it would happen again, or if it was a one time thing. I wasn't gonna try to talk about it drunk, and I was kind of unconscious there for a while. )

[ But he's got nothing for that second bit. He still hadn't known for sure then, but he's already said that. And Aoba's right, maybe he did deserve to know. Maybe Sam should have sucked it up and just told him his suspicions, no matter how vague they were or how wrong they might have been.

He doesn't say anything to that, because he's too busy gearing up for what he has to say. He still doesn't know how, still isn't prepared for the reaction - but he's out of time. ]

( That's not what I didn't know how to tell you. He made a deal when I was trying to get answers - if I guessed something wrong, he got a kiss. )

[ Alright, at least Sam didn't really go behind his back. Aoba can believe that much... he thinks. Sam is trying to come clean about what he knew, after all. The least Aoba can do is try to snuff out his temper as much as he can, give him the benefit of the doubt, and listen-

-except two seconds later, it's all holds off. His attention on keeping their mental connection shielded snaps.]

HE GOT A WHAT?!

[ Aoba is red hot, his face, chest, and suddenly brain on fire - a flickering combination of anger, shock, and the deepest, upmost embarrassment. ]

YOU KISSED ME?! I MEAN- THE OTHER ME? BUT ON MY MOUTH-?! AND YOU'RE JUST NOW TELLING ME?!

[ He's cranked up the volume on his every thought to twelve, and he's too panicked to try and turn it back down. ]

[ That's about the reaction that Sam was expecting, but there's still the very brief sensation of a flinch. He keeps his hold on his shields enough to keep his own part of the conversation private, but it falters when it comes to Aoba for a moment. Guilt trickles out, and it's obvious that Sam feels shitty about this, but he pulls back. He's honestly not sure if trying to keep his emotions hidden here is the right way to go, but it feels too much like shoving them at Aoba otherwise.

There's a kneejerk reaction to respond to just the last bit, to repeat what he'd said earlier about the timing or offer up what he'd learned as a reason - as an excuse, and that's why he shoves it down.

If Aoba's still willing to listen later, he'll tell him what Sly Blue said, but right now he needs to keep it simple. ]

( Yeah. I get it if you want me to back the hell off for a while. )

[ Aoba strains to get their connection back under shielded control. He's still shocked, still fuming, and he's sure Sam can hear his heart pounding as loudly in his ears as he can.

His anger doesn't calm at Sam's words, but it does stop from growing more heated. Only because those words drain him, the way Shiro's did as well, and doubt starts to creep in with a headache ready to overtake him.

Yes he's mad, yes he's ashamed, but he doesn't want Sam to back off. Because that means losing one of the only friends he has left in the Nest. But if this is what his friends do, keeping secrets from him, hiding, waiting, kissing him without him knowing...! ]

I... yes. Just... stay away from me!

[ He doesn't want to say it, and he can't hide that it contradicts the sudden fear of loneliness he's feeling. But he severs the connection anyway, like a call being dropped. Just in time, because if he'd stayed another second he's sure Sam would've felt his welling of emotions spill over to outward crying. ]

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Day 10ish

private

private

oops not private

back to private poor Aoba

private with an EFFORT