unfavoured: (pic#7843303)
ᴀᴅᴅɪsᴏɴ ᴘᴀʀᴋᴇʀ ([personal profile] unfavoured) wrote in [community profile] station722017-02-10 11:54 am

day ??? | daily dose of whiny baby goat

CHARACTERS: Parker ( [personal profile] unfavoured ) & [ open ]
WHERE: Station 72
WHEN: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
SUMMARY: Why are you the way you are?
WARNINGS: Parker.

❚❚❚❚❚ and I like the way the sun feels

[ Claustrophobia had not been something she suffered from in the past, but after a year of solitary confinement, who can blame someone from feeling anxious about being locked in closed spaces, especially when said someone is someone that enjoys fresh air - and needs it to take relaxing walks. Parker wouldn't admit she suffers from it, but there is definitely indications of it when she starts to stress out even in the long corridors that seem to go on and on along the Station.

It's the closest thing she has to "walk it off" and at least it wasn't a smal room guarded by private security, even if she constantly feels like she is being watched.

She's been walking without any direction for at least thirty minutes and she hasn't found one place that has any windows. She thinks she's been further away from insanity months ago. She halts her stride, sighing to herself in irritation as she pinches the bridge of her nose, eyes burning from tiredness. She never looks too well nowadays, dark circles under her eyes and her hair, longer now than she was when she first arrived, curling at odd angles at the ends.

She looks at the ceiling and then forward. There's someone coming, but she isn't paying attention to them.

Dammit. She's lost again.
]


❚❚❚❚❚ one caves in one other

[ How long can a human being go, straining herself to the far end of the rope? Stretching all of that exhaustion until you don't even have any strength left in your fingers? It all varies, from person to person, and Parker lately seems to be trying to test that limit. At least, that's the impression someone could take from it, if she didn't make an effort to be a non-existent entity. Keeping distance, avoiding people, sleeping anywhere that's mostly deserted. Even using the kitchen has become a rare activity, because there is always someone - and in any case, everything tastes like ash.

The tiredness is not only physical as it is mental, and yet the only way she can figure to overcome is to keep her mind off of everything.

She can still be found in the training wing, the only one place she is able to stand if only because of how deeply focused she is when it comes to practice. But this time around, she doesn't seem as concentrated in what she's doing, nor as good as she tries to be. Clearly so, as the wall climbing she was exercising ends up with her arms giving out twenty-odd feet up and Parker falling on her side with a loud, dry sound. Air knocked out of her, she coughs when she finally gets some oxygen flow going in her lungs. Parker slowly sits up, ragged breath, leaning her arms on her knees. She leans forward, resting her forehead on her hand, holding on to her wrist. She's just going to. Sit for a minute there. By all means, there should be at least a broken bone there, but it doesn't seem the case.

Only broken pride. Nobody saw that.
]


❚❚❚❚❚ wildcard.

[ She can be found here and there, mostly quiet places. Her mood is less than optimal and she's 100% more irritable at the moment. This is why, if you want to read about whiny babies. ]

adamance: (that is stupid)

[personal profile] adamance 2017-02-14 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Why do you assume that everyone is a lapdog because they don't behave like you? [Lexa returns to this point in part because it's the most baffling. Before coming here, no one had accused her of being a follower—no one outside of Clarke. But as far as she knows, she can only see herself working to reconfigure things here, to improve them so that they aren't little more than slaves to a system that wants them to lose themselves.

That fear grounds her.]


Eventually, you will contradict yourself into nothing this way. You are the first—the only—to accuse me of this here. Applying a meaning to something that isn't there won't benefit you.

[She is somewhat aware that she is doing the same with these words, but just the same, her frustration is palpable.]
adamance: (maybe we'll do the hunger games)

[personal profile] adamance 2017-02-17 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[She doesn't move. There aren't a whole lot of deep thoughts moving through Lexa's head. It's like communicating with a person who refuses to look into a mirror, an individual who is so caught in denial that she can't see what she's doing. Truthfully, Lexa has been in that position, but she's been far more functional about it. Cutting off human connection and emotions had been seen as a strength.

It wasn't.]


We all can see what you're doing to yourself. You may believe that you have principles, but it's clear that you're killing yourself. Is that what you want?
adamance: (i believe in ALL worries)

[personal profile] adamance 2017-02-19 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I've begun to believe that what you say to me is what you think of yourself. It's the only solution, considering that you have no way of knowing anything about myself and any others here. [Namely: Bellamy. Lexa can conclude that there are those who think she's nothing, but she cares little for them. The feeling being mutual only makes sense. (The only thorn in her side there is with Hux, whose opinion toward her has mutated as far as she knows.)]

Do you think people will rescue you if I decide that you're not worth the space in this Nest? Would your symbiote even care, being latched on to a life form such as yourself? You offer nothing but the eventual reality that no one cares for you. [Or not so eventual.]

I'm curious to test that theory. [To put her in her place. Lexa's ego isn't bruised. Parker's words are akin to a chihuahua desperately nipping at her heels while having no teeth.

Not that she's ever seen a chihuahua.]